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Please go seek out professional help. A psychiatrist, a psychologist, a minister, a friend . . . anyone. At the rate you're going, you'll end up doing the mandatory Thorazine Shuffle out at the Laughing Academy before too much longer.
Say - you're not Thetan, are you?
And remember, the first hit from the crack pipe's free. If I read this right, they're saying "Amnesty today!", not "Amnesty forever!".
Oh, wait . . .
Good to know.