If you're too stupid to "select all" and drag-and-drop to a new folder on your desktop, then you deserve to "lose" all your photos and videos.
As for the apps, there's one license of the app on the account, that's no longer wanting to be shared, so it's a "Marital Asset" that a judge can oversee the division of, along with the rest of the martial assets. It gets a little more complicated if one side wants some apps and the other side wants other apps, but they're rarely very expensive, on the order of $3 to $9, making them easily compensated for in the monetary settlement of the divorce. (app installations are just as fungible as cash)
That really only leaves "who gets the email address", and that's not a new problem created by Apple, that's been around for decades. Work it out, with the judge's assistance if necessary.
I think this whole thing is just coming down to bitter Ex'es in a messy divorce, looking for another public place to drag each other through the mud. Go handle your drama somewhere private, the world is not interested in being your stage.