Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
The Almighty Buck

Journal cyranoVR's Journal: Power Wives: Alpha Women, Beta Men 19

Journal by cyranoVR

Alpha Women, Beta Men
Wives are increasingly outearning their husbands, but their new financial muscle is causing havoc in the home.
By Ralph Gardner Jr., from the November 17, 2003 issue of New York Magazine.

Well into feminism's second generation, there are finally a significant number of women reaching parity with the men in their fields--not to mention surpassing them--and winning the salary, bonuses, and perks that signify their arrival. (The Town Cars idling in front of their children's schools these days at morning drop-off are almost as likely to be Mom's as Dad's.) In 2001, for example, wives earned more than their spouses in almost a third of married households where the wife worked. Yet this proud professional achievement often seems to have unhappy consequences at home.

From Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Alias to Kill Bill, the culture has for some time been awash in fantasies of powerful women. Fetching as these female superheroes may be--and however potent at the box office and in the Nielsens--are these really the same chicks the average, or even above-average, guy wants to curl up next to in bed in real life? Perhaps not. As the wives grow more powerful and confident, their husbands often seem to diminish in direct proportion to their success.

Indeed, there's little evidence to show that as women acquire financial muscle, relations between the sexes have evolved successfully to accommodate the new balance of power. Neither the newly liberated alpha women nor their shell-shocked beta spouses seem comfortable with the role reversal.
Entire article...

I wonder how many ex-dot-commer HTML-programmer husbands out there are now supported by their wives as they try to break into the video game industry as a 3-D artist? And don't think it's just happening in New York...

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Power Wives: Alpha Women, Beta Men More

Power Wives: Alpha Women, Beta Men

Comments Filter:
  • My wife earns more than I. In fact, a lot. So?

    The thing is, I am satisfied with my job, and I kept it on the RIZZEAL while she was in school. Now if I ever want a PhD I have a free ride (Awww yeah!).

    MekkaB thinks women who bring home the bacon are sexy.
  • Recently on 60 Minutes it was revealed that a lot of young career women are unaware of their biological clock.

    They don't know that they can't bear their own child after about 37 or so. They point to all of those pregnant older women who have been touted as Miracles of the Modern failing to realize one simple fact:

    It isn't their egg.

    So they think that they have all this time in the world (and that they can wait to be 50 to have their 3 tots).

    Problem is that marrying men aren't biting... as a lot of olde
    • The place where I work there are some VP Women (no big deal) who have kids (also no big deal).

      The issue is- that when they (one or two of 'em) were leading projects that were heading down the tube (through no fault of their own, cuz we've had some FABULOUS disasters where the blame goes all around!) its been surmised (in hushed undertones) that convenient pregnancies followed by year long sabbaticals have magically appeared to extricate them from the jaws of career suicide. They leave, some other dim-wit
  • Two ishs-
    first one, which comes last in the article:
    Raising a child is fucking Mind numbing work:
    from the article:After four years, the stay-at-home experience is starting to wear thin for Kurt Flehinger, too. "He's a highly intellectual person, and at the park, people want to talk about poop consistency and the shape of the pacifier," Jami explains. "I think he's ready to move on from that."
     and schnip-schnippity-schnip-schnippity..
    , no one ever comes up to a woman who has two children and says, 'You're
    • spot on.

      And now for something completely different.

      Where the flaming goat-horned gouge-fuck is your signature from?
      • Homestarrunner, go to toons, go to shorts, select "Mr. Shmallow", then at the very end, click in the middle of the screen. You'll see an interaction between Sad Sam and The Sneak.

        My wife said the same thing- then I showed her the homestarrunner video. She was quite disturb and didn't find it amusing in the slightest. Yeah, HR is some wierd-ass-shit.
  • While I recognise that some of what is in the linked article is universal I wonder how much is limited to the weird success oriented culture that is upper-class NYC and other similar places.

    Believe it or not there are people who don't measure their worth by how much money they make, how many awards they've gotten, or how many articles they've published. There are even places and cultures within this country where that is the norm rather than the exception.

    Another thing is there seems to be a lack of respe
    • Yeah, New York culture is a big factor, and of course this article is published in New York magazine.

      That said, if you don't think a marriage suffers when the wife is earning the money and the father is unemployed...well, I had a girlfriend whose parents' relationship was stressed because mom was a high-powered attorney while dad was a "freelance architect," and they didn't live in NYC.

      Believe it or not there are people who don't measure their worth by how much money they make, how many awards they've go
      • Meritocratic culture or not, some things are universally obvious...

        So does this mean that stay-at-home wives are "losers" and "parasites"?

        Quite the double standard here eh?

        I wonder how much of this is generational. The under-35 types seem to have less of a problem with somewhat non-traditional arrangements.

        At least for older couples the only acceptable answer to the "what do you do?" question for a man with a successful wife seems to be "I'm retired".
        • So does this mean that stay-at-home wives are "losers" and "parasites"?

          Quite the double standard here eh?

          I think in earlier (happier?) times, wives that didn't work were actually required to provide sex to their husbands...

          Unfortunately, since women can go indefinitely without sex (or and at least can obtain it instantaneously), only men get stuck with the parasite lable. Sucks, huh?

          Relevant Simpsons Quote [snpp.com]:

          Homer: Oh, one thing I'm good at and I can't do it any more.
          Marge: Homey, you're good a
        • It is a double-standard, but I think that most of these stories are more extreme than usual - IMO, anyone, male or female, that would go to the extreme of renting an office and pretending to go there every day,- so that they could *look* like a hardworking, productive person to their children, when in reality they do nothing, really IS a loser and a parasite. That's just stupid.

          My mom's the bread-winner in our family, after my Dad had a flaming burn-out, from being treated like a number in the 90's oil in
          • He builds and flys RC airplanes, surfs the internet, and takes care of a couple of rental properties.

            Therein lies the marital bliss. Your father is still pulling his weight. The (ex-)husbands in the article we'ren't doing jack...they were "artists" or "writers" or "actors" (in their own minds, anyway) with high-powered wallstreet wives.

            • I guess it depends on how you define "pulling his weight"... he certainly isn't contributing in any substantial way to the financial bottom line - the rental property income is negligible. Perhaps the difference isn't really the $$, but the concrete knowledge of what the contribution is - after all, how do you really know if a person who calls themselves an artist/actor/writer is working hard, but just unsuccessful, or if they are just coasting, looking for respect without doing anything to earn it? Obvio
              • They must have a great sex life. From what you describe, that's the only factor that could hold them together all these years.
                • Eeeeeew! Gross! My parents don't have sex! I was immaculately conceived, ok? hehe

                  It's more than that - way more. It's that they know how to agree to disagree with each other. It's that they know how to give each other space, when necessary. It's that they don't consider the other person's achievements to be illustrations of their own failures. They listen to each other. They talk to each other. They probably shag alot, if you absolutely must put that picture into my head. Most of all - they don't

Slashdot Top Deals

Even bytes get lonely for a little bit.

Close