Indie to the rescue! It's now on its last legs as development stopped a while back, but Altitude (altitudegame.com) is great multiplayer game that I read about on Slashdot and have been playing since 2009. The micro-transactions part of the game didn't work well, so the authors dropped it. If you just want to shoot at other players and not read about it, the in-game chat can be switched off, players can be muted and you can just avoid going to the forum pages on their website (which is separate from the game).
With the new billion of people going online on their tablets and phones, there is a lot of noise and annoying sales tactics that didn't work when all computer users were nerds. We just have to choose our battles and our games.