Whose grounds these are I think I knew.
His pot is in the maker, true;
He will not see me pouring here
To watch my mug fill up with brew.

My little cup must think it's queer
To drink without some sugar near
Instead of cream and Coffee Mate
The darkest coffee of the year.

I give my caffeine drink a taste
My sleepiness to be erased.
The only other sound's the hiss
Of easy drips and steam displaced.

The brew is lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And hours to go before I sleep,
And hours to go before I sleep.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

...to screw in a light bulb?

The Mosquito Ringtone

I remember this story from awhile back, and I recently found a copy of the MP3 which I uploaded to my phone. I can hear it, but I think if I had it as my regular ringtone, I probably wouldn't notice it in a noisy room.

I tried it out on my 40-year-old neighbor, and he doesn't believe I'm playing anything. Too many rock concerts, apparently. My wife can hear it a little better than I can.

When the neighbor kids and mine were over, I played it without telling them what I was about to do. Suddenly, they all clapped their hands over their ears, wondering where the loud noise was coming from. Their dad just shook his head, still hearing nothing.

The neighbor's wife came over and I played it for her. She said she could hear something, but it was barely noticeable. All the kids were playing at the neighbors' and started yelling. Amazingly, they could still hear it from over two hundred feet away!

I didn't buy that story at first, but after seeing the kids' reaction, I can see how it would work.

Can you hear it?

I did this all off the iPod screen, so it was tough to go back and forth and compare songs. I only have one song starting with "X" and it's from the original Wipeout PS game that I ripped the BGM to MP3s. I've got quite the mix of stuff...

# - 1941 March - John Williams
A - A Small Prayer - Fruits Basket Soundtrack
B - Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows
C - Can't Help Falling in Love - Elvis
D - Duel of the Fates - John Williams
E - Endangered Love - Veggietales
F - Firebird Suite - Stravinsky
G - Graceland - Paul Simon
H - Hey Mama - Black Eyed Peas
I - If I Had $1000000 - Barenaked Ladies
J - Jump Jive an' Wail - Brian Setzer Orchestra
K - Kodachrome - Simon and Garfunkel
L - Losing my Religion - REM
M - Me Myself and I - De La Soul
N - Nightswimming - REM
O - Only You - Captain Jack
P - Perfect Day - Elton John
Q - Quixote - Bond
R - Radio Song - REM/KRS1
S - Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
T - Tortured Tangled Hearts - Dixie Chicks
U - Up! - Shania Twain
V - Voodoo Child - Jimi Hendrix
W - Walk this Way - Run DMC
X - XPander - Sasha
Y - You Got What I Need - Young MC
Z - Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry Poppin' Daddies

We got some much-needed rain this weekend; unfortunately it came on Father's Day, potentially scuttling our cookout plans with my brother and both sets of parents. Fortunately, the rain seemed to be subsiding by mid-afternoon, so I decided to go for it and fire up the grill.

We did pork ribs, but differently than normal. I boiled them in straight tomato juice for about twenty minutes, then transferred them to the grill, which had a foil pouch of Jack Daniels charcoal bits to add some smoke.

Browned them on both sides, then slathered one side with barbeque sauce. Removed them to a large sheet of foil, flipping them in the process to I could put sauce on the other side. Sealed up the foil and let them sit and stew while we had salad. When we were ready for the ribs, they were falling-off-the-bone tender and tasty!

We got the ribs at Sam's Club. I've actually been very happy with their meat quality-wise as of late compared with Pick-n-Save or Piggly Wiggly.

I took the family out to see Cars yesterday. I enjoyed it, and agree with most other reviews about it being good at the beginning, slow in the middle, and great again at the end. It was certainly one of the best looking Pixar movies ever.

Incredibles > Cars > Monsters Inc. > Finding Nemo > Toy Story 2 > Toy Story > Bug's Life

Edit: I knew I'd forget one...

My wife says I am powerless over "Hint of Lime" Tostitos.

I tell Tostitos, "Sack, open!" Sack opens.
I tell Tostitos, "Get in bowl!" Tostitos go in bowl.
I tell Tostitos, "Resign yourself to your fate!" Tostitos resign to being eaten.

What you mean, "Powerless over Tostitos?" Not me!!!

Thing One had her first piano recital over the weekend. It was very cute seeing her and all the other first year students plucking out "Mary had a Little Lamb" and "Ode to Joy" and whatnot. Some of the advanced students were there as well, including a couple who had taken top honors at the recent Wisconsin state music competition. I love listening to piano music; I just wish I knew how to play.

Anyway, we also had to bring a treat for the social afterwards. I made Industrial Strength Chocolate Brownies.

Don't try this at home...

Ingredients

• 1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup unsweetened dutch cocoa powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 sticks unsalted butter
• 4 ounces baker's chocolate
• 3 ounces semi sweet chocolate chips (Put the baker's chocolate in a bowl on a scale and add enough chocolate chips to get to seven ounces.)
• 5 large eggs
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup miniature chocolate chips

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 325F. Lightly spray the inside of a 13x9 glass baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. Line with a sheet of parchment paper with enough hanging over two sides to use as a "sling" to lift the entire thing out after baking.
2. Sift together the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt and set aside.
3. Melt the butter, baker's chocolate and chocolate chips together. The microwave works well for this. Go for a minute, stir, and if still solid, go for 30 second more at a time. It doesn't need to be boiling, just liquidy.
4. Put the whisk attachment on your stand mixer. Beat the eggs for a minute to blend, then gradually add the sugar and keep mixing until just incorporated.
5. Slowly pour in the melted butter and chocolate mixture. Use a spatula to get as much as you can in the bowl. Don't be tempted to lick the spatula yet; save it for the finished batter. Add the vanilla extract.
6. Carefully add the sifted ingredients. Add about a quarter at a time so it doesn't poof out all over the counter. Scrape down the sides of the bowl every now and then to be sure all the flour is mixed in. Mix in the mini chocolate chips.
7. Scrape the batter into the prepared glass pan. Spread the batter evenly in the pan and smooth over the top using a spatula or knife.
8. Bake the brownies for 30 minutes, or until set. While baking, orally check the mixing bowl, spatula, and whisk to make sure they are free of chocolate.
9. Remove the brownies and leave them in the pan to cool to room temperature, then, if you can stand waiting, refrigerate for a couple hours, or until firm enough to cut. Use the parchment paper to lift the brownies out to a cutting board. Cut into sixteen (or if you want them to last longer, 32) slices.

Don't be shy about taking the last piece of pie. Someone has to take it; it might as well be you.

In case you missed the Cubs-Sox brawl from last week, here's a re-enactment.

In Lego.

How do you take your coffee?

A) Straight up black
B) Cream
C) Sugar
D) Foo-foo flavoring creamers
E) Chocolate carmel whipped cream half-caf double shot latte grande something-or-other.
F) I take my caffeine in other forms.
G) No caffeine for me, thanks.
H) Other...

Side poll: How many cups a day?

Personally, my first cup usually has a foo-foo creamer (today: french vanilla) to make it go down quicker. The other 2-3 cups a day are just black.

One day last July, I came into work and my manager met me at my desk mumbling something about coming up to someone's office right away and something something something. She looked nervous about something. I got up there and inside was my former manager who I worked for for about eight years. He didn't look very happy either, and suddenly my spider sense started tingling. Sure enough, I had found myself on the head end of the mass layoffs that were going on that day. He told me that he had fought to try and save my position, but it was out of his hands.

Crap.

I got a stack of boxes and was told to clear out my desk and head home. And oh, by the way, someone will be coming by later. Could you please show him how to work the system you've been developing and administering for the past five years before you go? Yeah, right. I was out of there quickly and heading for home for the last time, stunned that after ten years, it was over just like that.

Almost ten months later, I've finally found a job, albiet as a contractor, for a project that could run up to five years with a guarded but hopeful shot at getting employed full-time.

It's quite a step up. I have my own office, a couple windows looking out over the downtown area, the river, and Lake Michigan, a reserved parking spot on the connected ramp, really nice co-workers, and all the coffee I can drink. All this for a company that's always high on the Best Places to Work lists.

Another plus is that it's less than a third of the distance to my previous job. Before I was filling up over once per week. Now I'm going a week and not even using up half a tank.

I can't say I was completely sad about being unemployed for ten months. Our third was born last April, so I got to see him every day and he's gotten to be more of a daddy's boy than the previous two were since my wife got to spend so much more time with them since she was home all summer.

But, yay! Paychecks!

...but we can still have fun...

A Chicago Bear fan, a Minnesota Viking fan and a Green Bay Packer fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime, they were sentenced to death! However, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Bears fan was first in line (he drank the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Bears fan had to be carried away crying like a baby. The Viking fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through, sending the Viking fan out crying like a little girl.

The Packer fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate). The Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world. Your city and fans are the greatest. For this, you may have two wishes! "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Packer fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?", the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Viking fan to my back."

How to carve a pumpkin the cool way (Note: Flash required)