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eglamkowski's Journal: Beating a dead horse 4

Journal by eglamkowski

Seen here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Talkmaster/message/35097

Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However, in government we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this horse."
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Pass legislation declaring that "This horse is not dead."
11. Blaming the horse's parents.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Do a CA Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
16. Procure a COTS dead horse.
17. Declare the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.
18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
21. BRAC the horse farm on which it was born.
22. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

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Beating a dead horse

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  • -provide financial incentives for the horse, on the grounds that it isn't being supported enough. (Democratic version)

    -insist that the horse isn't taking ownership of the situation, and will be perfectly able to get up and walk when it wants to (republican version)

    -insist that it is all the interference that is the problem, and leave the horse to work it out (libertarian version)

    -Issue a declaration that the horse is dead because there are not enough other people beating it, and get teams of other people to
  • Necro-equine flagellation.
  • The Peter Principle at work:

    22. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

    I think that's part of the reason I went for a job in State government- after years of experiencing the chaos that is the Dilbert Principle in modern private corporations, the Peter Principle is a RELIEF!
  • On elderly horse, campaign for funds for new horse. Get the funds. Buy new road. Ride horse 'till dead. Hold press conference; blame FEMA and the President for dead horse. Watch FEMA buy 10,000 new horse trailers, watch trailers sink into the mud. Get re-elected for blaming dead horse on the Feds.

APL is a write-only language. I can write programs in APL, but I can't read any of them. -- Roy Keir

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