I was given a Kindle Fire 8HD for my birthday. It's a beautiful device. I love it.

That's the Good news.

The "bad news" is that it's supposed to come with Alexa, which I cannot get to work. At all.

The device is a Kindle Fire 8HD (7th Gen) running FireOS 5.4.0.0.

I've tried several things to get it to work, but it's just not going there.

I long-press the Home button and nothing happens. I've tried to go to Settings > Device Options, but there's no "Alexa" option to enable.

Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing? It isn't exactly a show-stopper if Alexa never works, but if it's not going to work, I'm going to start looking for ways to remove Alexa-related software.

If it matters, I do not have a Spot or anything like it. This Kindle is it.

Suggestions would be appreciated.

Marc Kasowitz, President Trumpâ(TM)s personal attorney on the Russia case, threatened a stranger in a string of profanity-laden emails Wednesday night.

The man, a retired public relations professional in the western United States who asked not to be identified, read ProPublicaâ(TM)s story this week on Kasowitz and sent the lawyer an email with the subject line: âoeResign Now.â(TM)â(TM)

Kasowitz replied with series of angry messages sent between 9:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Eastern time. One read: âoeIâ(TM)m on you now. You are fucking with me now Letâ(TM)s see who you are Watch your back , bitch.â

In another email, Kasowitz wrote: âoeCall me. Donâ(TM)t be afraid, you piece of shit. Stand up. If you donâ(TM)t call, youâ(TM)re just afraid.â And later: âoeI already know where you live, Iâ(TM)m on you. You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise. Bro.â

Slightly more interesting:

The exchange began after the man saw our story featured last night on the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC. We reported that Kasowitz is not seeking a security clearance even though the Russia case involves a significant amount of classified material.

Experts said Kasowitz could have trouble getting a security clearance because of what multiple sources described as a recent history of alcohol abuse. Former employees also said Kasowitz had engaged in behavior that made them uncomfortable.

I've said before I expect this whole Russia thing to be more on the Iran/Contra side of the spectrum than Watergate, but Donnie's at least keeping it fresh.

Shock, actually. But good. Hoping for more.

Gabby Giffords gets shot by a right-wing nutjob.

Liberals: GUN CONTROL!!!
Conservatives: Crazy lone gunman. Nothing to do with gun laws or overheated rhetoric. Liberals need to stop politicizing this issue, etc.

Steve Scalise gets shot by left-wing nutjob.

Liberals: GUN CONTROL!!!
Conservatives: Liberal Trump hate has gotten out of hand! We really need to start monitoring social media, who knows how many more of them there are out there, etc.

So the Fuckhead Of The United States is having literally the worst first month of a presidential term and his big idea is a 2020 campaign rally in fucking Florida this weekend?

Oughtta just nuke the whole country, it's the only way to be sure at this point. Fucking Yanks.

My watch has bought the proverbial farm. Usually this means that the strap has broken in a way that makes it difficult (if not impossible) to repair. In this case, the strap was part of the body and it tore straight through.

Do not feel bad for my watch, as it has served me well for several years. Considering how things are made these days, I see this as a Good Thing. It is not unusual for me to replace my watch every three to five years.

At any rate, I'm on the market for a Smart Watch. I'm aiming for the US$150.00 price range. I understand the maxim of "you get what you pay for", so the el Cheapo $20 ones from China are out of the question. This being my first Smart Watch, I want to get a good idea what they are capable of doing versus what I'll actually use it for, so I don't want to drop $200 or more on it.

I'd like something that lets me change the face (analog or digital display), maybe weather updates and/or text notices are a plus.

If it matters, my phone is an Android.

Do any of you have any suggestions that I could consider?

A warning for Trump:

You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole,

Game theory would seem to point to sooner rather than later. As of right now, there is almost zero downside (and quite a few perks available if done right.) Of course, this assumes the GOP congresscritters could organize a piss up in a brewery, something that hasn't been a surefire thing since the 90s.

Florida AG Who Dropped Case Against Trump University to Get White House Job

Can we just call him President Swamp Thing? Would make things easier for everybody.

Yeeeeesh. Kinda the opposite of the The Force Awakens, weirdly: There's an actual serviceable plot, but none of the characters are given time to develop personalities or motivations. Also, between shitty lines and an underfunded costuming department, Vader looked and sounded like an idiot.

There are a couple of cool moments, and there's a certain satisfaction and integrity present in the fact that R:O is a (mostly) standalone story. But, one thing a Star Wars shouldn't be is boring, and this delivers in spades on that front.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio to hold press conference on Obama birth certificate investigation

Verily tingling with anticipation.

In related news, Cornell Belcher details how race and racism still had a part to play in the 2016 election:
 

Jenée Desmond-Harris

A question a lot of people ask around the question of the role race and racism played in Trumpâ(TM)s election is, âoeHow can you say Americans are concerned with race when they elected Obama?â I know the long answer is in the data presented in your book, but whatâ(TM)s the simple response to that?

Cornell Belcher

They didnâ(TM)t. Thatâ(TM)s the thing here. The majority of whites did not elect Obama, and thatâ(TM)s the wolf at the door. The vast majority of whites did not support President Obama and President Obama won back-to-back majorities, and that caused the realization of their power waning. Mitt Romney ran up a higher score among white voters than Ronald Reagan, when Reagan had a landslide in 1984.

Conservatives may want to take note of this, however:
 

In battleground states, particularly more diverse states, the percentage of white people voting Democrat decreases significantly as that population gets more diverse. So diversity is having an opposite impact that is harmful to Democrats.

Trump offers Goldman executive Cohn key economic post

This is actually good news. Stacking the deck with all these Wall Street chumps means that recession we've been waiting on will happen sooner rather than later. Speaking of which, anyone got any tips for profiting from another major US economic meltdown that doesn't involve the stock market?

Trump Picks Foreclosure King Mnuchin for Treasury Secretary

So much for the swamp, I guess.

That, right there, is one very useful phrase, I'll have to admit. I've used it in all kinds of contexts, and for different effects, and it works great. It's like a rhetorical swiss army knife.

Moving on, talk about getting shafted! I'm glad my political gambling is a hobby, not an addiction, cuz Cheeto Mussolini just fucked me out of 5K. Although I'm even more glad of my Senate side bet since it helps take the sting out of it.

Congratulations to all the Republicans out there! It's been exhausting work pretending to care about the deficit, unemployment numbers, and whether or not the rest of the world thinks the US is a laughingstock, so I'm sure you'll all be glad for the break.

Last but not least, commiserations to all the kids out there, the ones who'll get punched repeatedly in the face as they struggle through life because global warming as a solvable problem is gone for at least a generation, whilst us Boomers and Gen Xers get to pop our clogs before the really bad shit starts. Time to start volunteering for those Mars missions, I guess.

For any non-Yanks out there, there is a small silver lining: Between, incompetence, corruption, and taking advantage of these historic circumstances to finally bury the Dem party forever, the incoming administration may be too busy trying to fuck over the US to have any time to fuck over the rest of the planet any more than they have already have. Fingers crossed!

BÃ go maith, a mhuirnÃn.