Big Freakin' Laser Beams In Space

schnippy writes "Esquire is running an interesting article on the work on adaptive optics and directed energy being done at the U.S. Air Force's Starfire Optical Observatory. This facility was the subject of a New York Times article earlier this year which suspected the facility was conducting anti-satellite weapons research under the cover of astronomy."

Any word...

[GillBates0]

Any word on how we're going to get sharks up there?

Optometrists

[TheSexican]

Maybe they are just planning on giving astronauts laser eye surgery from the ground.

GDI anyone?

[Anonymous Coward]

Finally, we have a weapon capable of defeating the Brotherhood of Nod.

So this is how...

[LiquidCoooled]

They are going to warm up a bit of Mars.
Hopefully, they won't "test" it out on targets closer to home first.

Astronomical Research?

[Shadow Wrought]

They are soo sharking Congress on that one.

Real Genius

[wiggles]

Anyone have a taste for popcorn?

Where's Laslo?

[Ark]

Finally my dream of making a house full of popcorn while listening to Tears for Fears will be realized!

Re:Any word...

[lymond01]

If you'd paid attention to previous Slashdot discussions:

The space elevator will move too slowly to keep living things from being irradiated by the Van Allen belt surrounding the Earth. The solution is to create a passenger compartment inside a cargo container filled with water, which is a terrific absorber of energy, which in turn can house the sharks.

Elementary, really...

Shower doors

[onion2k]

We see through a glass darkly--somewhat like trying to spy on beauty through textured-glass shower doors.

Ok, forget space, I want a laser-telescope-camera at home right now if it can see through next-doors shower door.

Re:They can go big...

[LordEd]

When we see smaller sharks, of course.

Shark!

[Kadin2048]

Water goes in cargo container, cargo container goes in rocket, shark goes in water. Our shark.

We're gonna need a bigger rocket.

Lasers, Shmasers - the name says it all.

[Channard]

They're using the telescope to spy on that orange chick from the Teen Titans.

KFC

[mynickwastaken]

So, now they are trying to fry the kentucky chicken with a laser?

In other news ...

[powerlord]

The British Government have confirmed the existence of their sister program, The Torchwood Institue [wikipedia.org], having recently demonstrated its latest ground to space design over the holidays [wikipedia.org].

[/remove tongue from cheek]

Re:So this is how...

[the_wishbone]

Good...I think we were all pretty tired of Pyongyang sitting there, all fraction-like. Or maybe it's their nuclear shenanigans we're tired of. Either way, I'm glad it's whole again.

Re:Any word...

[zitch]

Muntant sharks with Big Freakin' Laser Beams on their heads in Space? Nothing can possibly go wrong with that!

Esquire?

[CodeMasterPhilzar]

Isn't that a Men's clothing magazine? Since when do we get technology information from Esquire? That's like going to Dr. Dobbs looking for a pie recipe or Car and Driver for gardening tips.

And so where is the news here ?

[cbelt3]

I worked for a company that delivered a 3.5M BEAM DIRECTOR to AFWL in the 90's. Notice the caps. So why is this a surprise to anyone ? The program was DESIGNED to **CLASSIFIED **** in the **CLASSIFIED*** stage of flight. Of course it has other uses. Beam source was a GPFEL.

However, trust me on this, it's too damn big to attach to a shark's head. Even a whale shark. A space based shark, maybe, but you'll have a tough time getting something the size of a small skyscraper into orbit. Not to mention the nuke plant to power it.

Re:Any word...

[Anonymous Coward]

I see no reference to sharks .... either I can't read, or my Firefox search is broke, or I am missing some l33t inside joke.

Re:Any word...

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd prefer robot mutant sharks with big freakin' laser beams on their heads in space. controlled by ninjas. female mutant robot ninjas.

If the USAF uses Starfire...

[the_tsi]

If the USAF uses Starfire, they're going to go out of mana pretty quickly. I hope they have a lot of MP/5 and know when to use that Innervate.

Only on Slashdot

[metalligoth]

Only on Slashdot does a story about space and lasers lead to the tagging system creating one and only one tag: sharks.