Microsoft's High School Opens in PA

Joopndufus writes to mention a CNN article about a Microsoft-planned high school, newly opened in the Philadelphia area. Funded entirely by that city's school system, Microsoft offered its management skills and personnel to design every aspect of the high-tech setting. From the article: "After three years of planning, the Microsoft Corp.-designed 'School of the Future' opened its doors Thursday, a gleaming white modern facility looking out of place amid rows of ramshackle homes in a working-class West Philadelphia neighborhood. The school is being touted as unlike any in the world, with not only a high-tech building -- students have digital lockers and teachers use interactive 'smart boards' -- but also a learning process modeled on Microsoft's management techniques."

More information

[LiquidCoooled]

Staff at the school were happy with how the opening day went, the pupils were welcomed in by a Brian Eno classic on the tannoy system.
This informed them that the tannoy system was working and it was now safe to enter the building.

However, once the day got underway things quickly went downhill in the English letter writing class.

"Dear aunt, let's set so double the killer delete select all,"

Meanwhile the gymnasium had to be rebooted twice after some children overloaded the basketball hoops.
Several pupils were stuck in the changing rooms for a few hours until the scandisk procedure managed to locate all the fragments of the key to unlock the door.

The music class was interrupted because someone brought in an illegal sample of a track in mp3 format and forgot to include a verification document from the parents of the original composer signed in blood.

On top of all these problems, the school is hunting for the person responsible for posting "goatse" on every single whiteboard, this shocking image appeared at 14:21 and remained on screen for 15 minutes whilst technicians located and removed it.

Crash Course?

[ruiner13]

Do they offer crash courses? Do all the windows have blue screens? Does every student get a clippy to help with their homework?

Ok, i'm done.

Fresh Prince of Microsoft

[Anonymous Coward]

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became a student owned by Microsoft
In West Philadelphia born and raised
On Slashdot where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And writing some code outside of the school
When a couple of guys said "we're up in no good"
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I hacked into one little computer and my mom got scared
And said "you're going to that new Microsoft High School"

Forgot One

[Anonymous Coward]

You forgot Chair Throwing 101.

It replaced their Communications courses.

Re:More information

[__aaclcg7560]

The school wouldn't have any of these problems if they were using Macs. :P

Graduation

[k4_pacific]

A: So you go to Microsoft High School?

B: Yup.

A: When do you graduate?

B: I was supposed to graduate in 2002. But I got held back. Then it was supposed to be 2003, 2005, then 2006.

A: Yikes! Are you that dumb?

B: No, they just tried to teach me too much unnecessary stuff. They kept cutting classes out of the requirements hoping I'd make it.

A: So, when are you graduating?

B: Right now, they're saying 2007, but many think it'll be 2008 or later.

Microsoft Management Techniques?

[rlp]

So if you try to transfer to another school does the vice-principal throw a chair at you?

Re:More information

[aplusjimages]

Plus there wouldn't be any video games to distract the kids with.

Re:What the ...

[Ron Bennett]

Interesting end time ... 4:19? Another sign of the "420" culture at Microsoft? LOL!

Ron

Re:Jennifer Government ....

[ruiner13]

Isn't that how a lot of us got our surnames anyway? "smith" comes from a family of blacksmiths, "baker" comes from a baker, etc. What was once will be again, I guess. I'm not saying I think it would be a good thing, but it isn't new.

As a side note, "Bush" I believe comes from the long history of stupid twats in his family.

I want to go there!

[dghcasp]

Microsoft management practices, eh?

Now, class, your assignment is due friday.

Of course, if it's not done by then, you can say the schedule slipped and take up to four years to complete it.

If you don't like your grade, submit a service pack for your assignment and I'll regrade it. You can do this as often as you want.

Footnotes are not important; if you plagerize something, just define it as your standard. Make sure to change one word so that your writing is different enough from the source.

And, of course, it's perfectly all right to buy someone else's assignment and then submit it.

Re:Fresh Prince of Microsoft

[xdjyoshx]

I whistled for a segway and when it came near
the sticker said "pwned" and the dude had flakes in his hair
if anything i could tell that he was ready to throw a chair
but i thought nahhhh forget it wait
YO HOLEMS YOU SMELL WAREZ?

I
pulled
up to my laptop around 7 or 8
and yelled to the teacher
yo melinda page ya later
i looked at my kingdom
it was all white and bare
and there it was known as MS High School despair.

Sorry i had to finish the song.. geez

Re:More information

[maxwell demon]

Yes, but they get bonus points for missing them.

Re:Interesting 'idea'

[pkulak]

Political correctness? The min-90s called. They want their scapegoat back.

Re:More information

[h00pla]

Will there be 'blue blackboards of death'?

No, no; management, not technical

[geobeck]

...so before they can sit down, the kids will have to search the school to find where their chairs have landed.

And the principal will steal the core information from all of the textbooks to be used, change it so it doesn't crash their custom curriculum, then pay off the original publishers when they threaten to sue.

Students will only receive homework on the first Tuesday of every month, and only if they can prove that they are genuine students by showing the teacher their enrolment certificate.

Nah, I got nothin'.

Deadlines.

[twitter]

Do they have deadlines on assignments?

Graduation was expensively assured in two years but it will probably take six or so. The graduates will have minor, mostly cosmetic, improvements and be as reliable and trustworthy as any other Microsoft release. Some students, like Bob, will never make it.

Attempts to dominate gaming will produce a few interesting plays but will ultimately be an expensive distraction.

Re:More information

[Anonymous Coward]

Hopefully Microsoft didn't have any involvement with the bus system...

I would hate to have children riding a Bluebird of death to school.

Re:What the ...

[sharkey]

the day starts at 9:15 a.m. and ends at 4:19 p.m., simulating the typical work day.

I usually come in at least 15 minutes late. I use the side door, that way Lumberg doesn't see me.

Re:Who wants to bet...

[owlnation]

and bringing an Apple for the teacher gets you expelled...

Re:Crash Course?

[Anonymous Coward]

>Does every student get a clippy to help with their homework?

Looks like you are trying to conjugate a verb.
How would you like to pay patent license fee to Microsoft(tm)?
*Check
*Credit Card
*Debit Card

Sounds great, but...

[djlowe]

I'd wait for Service Pack 1, myself, before deploying.

Re:vista

[Joe Snipe]

Would you prefer to stick with the current teaching system; modelled after Rockefellers management structure of his mills and factories? At least this school will require literacy...

This is becoming simple MS bashing, akin to reflexive racism. ANY changes or contributions made by the private sector are a good thing. If we can start preparing children to work in the white collar sector rather than the blue collar, maybe there is a chance we can thin out the low-income population that you and I currently support!

As for MS donating $X to the school system: why don't you show them how it's done? ;)

Mascot Ideas

[neo]

CLIPPY!! He can help coach the team!

BOB!! The yellow face from the BOB OS!

BILLY GOAT!! With a face like Bill Gates who couldn't love him!

DEAD PENGUIN!! Picture a penguin that's been fucking killed by certain CEOs

BLUE SCREEN!! Nothing scares opposing teams like a looming crash!!

THE ARROW!! The cursor can run around "right clicking" on the opponents cheerleaders, if you know what I mean.

Re:What the ...

[argStyopa]

Because the way to teach someone to fish is by simply throwing lots and lots of fish at them?

No wait, that's not right....

Changes made by Microsoft

[Anonymous Coward]

High School is scheduled for four years by may take as much as six years to complete. Also occational upgrades may be required to correct factual errors in the lesson plans. The information they are taught may not be compatible with the rest of the world but if Microsoft becomes the dominant educator it won't matter because everyone else will need to be compatible with them. Unfortunately the students are likely to get some teasing over their new school mascot, Clippy the paperclip.

At lunch, in the teachers' lounge...

[StreetStealth]

The principal holds a lunch meeting, and runs out on stage shouting,

"EDUCATORS! EDUCATORS! EDUCATORS!"

Re:Gives a Whole New Meaning to School Bullies

[Anonymous Coward]

Sheesh! School of the futuer?? Sounds more like "How to be Hitler 101"

No, you want "School of the Fuehrer", two blocks down.

Re:More information

[HarvardAce]

I hear there has been quite a cost saving, as the number of teachers required is lower than a traditional school because English is now being taught by Clippy.

"I see today we are trying to write a formal letter. Would you like help?"
Also, two students were expelled on the first day for giving an apple to the teacher.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion