Symantec Labels Vicars' Software as Spyware

ukhackster writes "The curse of Norton Antivirus has struck again. This time, Britain's vicars have been hit. Norton mistook a legitimate file for a piece of spyware, and those who followed the instructions found that their sermon-writing application no longer worked. Norton was once an essential application. Is it turning into a joke?"

The Vicar Knows who he writes for...

[ackthpt]

Don't think sorry's easily said
Don't try turning tables instead
You've taken lots of Chances before
But I ain't gonna give any more

Don't ask me

That's how it goes
Cause part of me knows what You're thinkin'
Don't say words you're gonna regret
Don't let the fire rush to your head
I've heard the accusation before
And I ain't gonna take any more

Believe me
The sun in your Eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules

Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't Need to see any more
To know that I can read your mind, I can read your mind

Don't leave false Illusions behind
Don't Cry cause I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
Cause I ain't gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the Signs are deceiving

I am the eye in the sky...

Eye In The Sky
Written by Eric Woolfson and Alan Parsons

Really?

[codeshack]

A sermon-writing application? Word doesn't have a Insert->Scripture option?

sounds like it's doing a pretty good job to me...

[paulsgre]

If vicars, imams, priests, friars, clerics, and rabbis were the only things Norton was blocking, I'd say it's time to reevaluate my longstand hatred of them in favor of an uneasy alliance.

An omen perhaps?

[IAstudent]

Maybe this is a sign that relig... err I mean magic and technology can't coexist.... oh, wait..

*ducks behind cliched fantasy story*

Dawkins aproach...

[RyanFenton]

Well, accoring to Dawkins [umich.edu], sermon generators would be explicit tools for the carrying of a viral message.

I think the program may be working properly as designed.

Ryan Fenton

The CoE needs to call...

[Anonymous Coward]

The Bishop!

In a related story.....

[ReidMaynard]

(AP Cupertino, CA) A mysterious fire is raging out of control at the Symantic HQ on 20330 Stevens Creek Blvd.

Best line of the article

[Stonent1]

"Usually it takes a lot to get a clergyman upset, but we have had a fair few on the phone. There's been no talk of smiting yet, but we'll wait and see," Green added.

I love the Brits.

Re:sounds like it's doing a pretty good job to me.

[bunions]

Norton ClergyBlocker 2006 Pro Edition.

I'd buy two copies.

What this world needs...

[Viperion]

...is an Anti-Norton virus.

After one of my users uttered that spoonerism the other day, I am more and more convinced it needs to happen.

Re:Really?

[just_another_sean]

Nope. Emacs on the other hand...

Re:well... yes?

[ShadowBlasko]

Although not directly connected to the NAV problems, my favorite thing about Norton is how Norton Internet Security refuses to allow Live Update connections to other software. It is considered too much of a threat.

Guess what Norton Uses to update Norton Security? You guessed it!

Re:Really?

[Jtheletter]

A sermon-writing application? Word doesn't have a Insert->Scripture option?

I heard they tried to add that feature once but blood started pouring out of the PC speakers and all the text kept getting rewritten in demonic sanskrit. Apparently some incompatibility between the word of God and a Pure Evil OS. Works just fine in OpenOffice though! ;)

Re:Antivirus

[LordPhantom]

Dear DownWithTheMan,

We'd like to thank you for your "If I don't know it's there, it must not be" attitude. We'll be seizing your assets now.

Sincerely,
Black Hat Pirates

PlatePal

[krell]

They take donations through the PlatePal (tm) church offering cash collection service.

Re:In a related story.....

[Volante3192]

From Cupertino FD, Fire Chief Big McLargehuge was exhausted. "We just got the fire put out, and then all my guys started getting covered in locusts. And the frogs...so many frogs. However, we had some good water pressure and were able to handle them pretty well.

"But when my oldest son just dropped dead right in front of me, I knew we had to get out of there."

Re:well... yes?

[Ruie]

that being said, this is simply a mistake. it happens. mcafee had one that detected excel.exe as a virus.

Yes, mcafee should have labeled it a trojan instead..

crackmenot

[spyrochaete]

I had my own run-in with a Norton false positive. For some reason, my newly acquired copy of NAV took exception to a file on my desktop called "Norton Antivirus 2003 keygen.exe". IIRC it labelled it as "malware\keygen". I checked the file with several web AV tools and it was clean. What could the problem have been?

P.s., Avast [avast.com] FTW!

Re:The CoE needs to call...

[bdonalds]

We was...too late!

fire me! fire meeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

I work for Symantec. I'm typing this on a Symantec computer. From a Symantec network. In the office. Surrounded by thought-deprived Symantedroids with little yellow swirlies tatooed on their foreheads.

So listen very closely:

Norton is shit. Shitty software shittily implemented on a shitty operating system. It used to be kind of kewl, but now it's a shit interface, with shit performance, and shit virus definitions that cost a shitload of money to update. Implemented on a shitbag platform because its missing some basic shit in the process controls. So we piled more shit on top of the shit that was already there, so now the shit attack surface still smells like shit, only it's bigger. The underlying pile of shit keeps getting bigger because Microsoft is apparently drilling and pumping to recycle old shit, so we have to keep making our pile of shit bigger to cover it, only some of the old shit keeps poking through. And our shit is updated only when the shit hits the fan. No one even knows their way around the pile of shit anymore because it's become an immense mountain of shit with rolling hills of shit versions, rivers of shit updates, shit swamps of shitty support and peaks of horseshit management tools that allow people to pretend that they understand all this shit.

Buy a Mac. Patch the OS. And don't install shitty antivirus software.

Re:Really?

[andphi]

I think they might have tried it once. Then they integrated Clippy.
Word->Insert->Scripture->John->Chapter 3->Verse 16
Clippy:
"I'm sorry, I can't find that file. Would you like to:"
Cite the Koran
Cite the Book of Mormon
Cite the Rig Veda
Cite the Watchtower Bible
Cite the Book of Common Prayer

No matter what the user does next:
You have chosen The Road Ahead by Bill Gates

Re:well... yes?

[TClevenger]

Symantec is where programs go to die. They buy up software and let it stagnate (for instance, under Symantec, several version of ACT! had the same easily fixable bug, even though it was in their knowledge base several times), getting as much money out of the software with as little work as possible. (When's the last time you saw a great new feature in any Symantec product? Our current corporate "Symantec Antivirus" is exactly the same as the old versions of Norton Antivirus, but with a new tray icon. Oooooooh.)

Don't write the sermon, vic!

[skoda]

(apologies to Monty Python)

First Vicar: As I scan my computer for sinful programs...

(Cut to bishop and vicars at doorway.)

Bishop: The anti-virus, vic! Don't run the anti-virus!

(Cut back to vicar.)

First Vicar: (Scanning in process)

(The computer explodes. Vicar's sermons disappear in smoke. Cut to close-up of the bishop.)

Bishop: We was too late. The Reverend Norton's writings bit the ceiling.

Re:fire me! fire meeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

[nocaster]

Come on, don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel about it.

Re:well... yes?

[6ULDV8]

"more than just students, but i am more hands on with them"

Current district guidelines prohibit this so called "hands on" approach. Please report to the office immediately.

Re:well... yes?

[Rix]

I bet you're more hands on with the students...

To be fair...

[abb3w]

Works just fine in OpenOffice though! ;)

OpenOffice's equanimity is similarly unchanged if you do inserts from the Necronomicon. (User sanity is appreciably affected if you do, but not so much as merely caused by using MSWord.)

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn....

Re:turning into?

[Amazing Quantum Man]

Peter Norton needs to sue Symantec for defamation of character.

More info on this virus

[Admiral Burrito]

Virus name: God
Also known as: Jehovah, Allah, Yahweh, YHWH
Spyware: Yes, omnicient.
Damage potential: Armageddon
Prevalence: Ubiquitous
Stealth: Yes (even it's existence is debated)
Threat level: Critical
Notes: This omnipotent entity creates a world by force of will, and then waits until the end times to trigger the armageddon payload.

Re:You people suck.

[SwashbucklingCowboy]

Go fuck a tree, zealots. Leave the rational discussion to the grownups.

I'm sure the irony of this statement escapes you...