IE Holes Not Microsoft's Fault, Says Bill

thparker writes "As part of the Media Center release discussed previously, Bill Gates had an interview with USA Today. Best quote: 'Q: Speaking of security, Internet Explorer has had well-publicized holes... Gates: Understand those are cases where you are downloading third-party software.' Well now we know -- these problems have all been our own fault." Any counterexamples?

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Any counterexamples?

[Anonymous Coward]

No.

Third-Party?

[Machitis]

I wasn't aware Windows Update was third-party software...?

Hmmm...

[Selfbain]

I thought it was everyone else blaming their computer problems on Microsoft not the other way around.

Bill Gates lecturing about security...

[Anonymous Coward]

is like Tony Soprano lecturing about law and order..

Re:Uhhhh...

[plover]

This one reminds me of the old Yakov Smirnov joke about a Soviet visiting America:

"Now that you're in America, if you need to get the police on the phone, just dial 911."

"That's nothing. In Soviet Russia, we don't even have to dial."

The more I look at B. Gates...

[ATAMAH]

The more he reminds me of my ex girlfriend. As in - he is just as greedy and his side is never at fault.
Although he is much uglier and....male.

Re:The more I look at B. Gates...

[darnok]

> The more he reminds me of my ex girlfriend ...
> Although he is much uglier and....male.

and not just a figment of your imagination ;->

Re:What's that I hear dying?

[saskboy]

Well, don't blame Microsoft. It's up to 3rd Party software companies to provide security to Windows, such as Symantec, McAfee, and Zonelabs. Oh, but wait, Gates also said that 3rd Party software is Responsible for the holes in Windows software. Now I'm confused.

3rd Party Software. The Solution to, and Cause of all of Windows' problems.

What Bill means

[roman_mir]

What Gates is saying is that Windows does not come with native viruses installed, you have to download them from other places. Well, I sure hope they see that they are missing a market opportunity here. Longhorn better come with its own, native viruses.

I've heard this before.

[ImTwoSlick]

Han: "It's not my fault!"
Lando: "It's not my fault!"
Bill: "It's not my fault!"

Re:No thanks

[notthe9]

I have performed the experiment: Install Windows on a computer and hook it up to the Internet. Leave it hooked up without downloading one bit of software from anywhere! and the machine will be compromised. Why is that Mr. Gates?

Impossible! You must be lying!

(Sorry, I realize this mihgt not be defensible, but I accidently checked the "Always Trust Microsoft" box during an install a few years ago. If only I could turn back time.)

Re:No thanks

[grcumb]

"I'm still waiting for my unfirewalled 'nix box to be rooted ;)"

Oh, it won't be rooted... again. I've tightened things up nicely, now.

P.S. Thanks for the porn!

Re:No thanks

[WilyCoder]

Ownage! What Mrs. Bill says is pure PR spin. Man, Fuck him (yes, with a capital F)!

Nuts!

[abacsalmasi]

I hope my mom doesn't read this, I told her that all the porn on my machine was downloaded by Windows.

Re:Antivirus is not a thing you "build in"

[grcumb]

"If OSX were #1 I'm sure the attacks would be just a fast and furious."

Amen, brother! That's why I tossed out that POS Apache web server and got me a brand new IIS. I mean what with all the security holes that come from being the number one piece of software and all, I just KNOW that IIS will never be a problem.

And besides, look at the name: Ah Pah Chee. Get it? It's a Patchy web server. It's gotta suck!

[Disclaimer. The above is one man's poor attempt at humour. If, while moderating, you find that this does not satisfy your personal criteria for 'funny', return this post in its original packaging to the sender and you will be receive a full refund.]

Re:OS X rox!

[B.D.Mills]

I believe gravity does. Don't believe me? Try dropping it off a building.
That depends on how tall your building is, what the apple is made of and how the apple is protected.

If I enclosed the apple in six layers of bubble wrap with the bubbles on the inside, encased the bubble wrap in three inches of loose polystyrene beads, enclosed the polystyrene beads in three inches of low-density foam, enclosed the low-density foam in three inches of high-density foam, enclosed the high-density foam in a double-thickness corrugated cardboard box, enclosed the cardboard box in two layers of egg cartons and enclosed the egg cartons in another cardboard box, the apple isn't going to be damaged if I dropped it off the roof of my house.

Catch 22!

[Advocadus Diaboli]

Q: Speaking of security, Internet Explorer has had well-publicized holes ...
Gates: Understand those are cases where you are downloading third-party software.
...
Q: Might you add anti-virus/spyware protection in Windows?
Gates: It's not a thing you build in. You have to offer a service. There are third parties who are doing a good job. We're always taking a hard look, but we don't have any concrete plans.

So if I get this right the problem with security is that I download third party software and Mr. Gates thinks that it can be solved by third party service (which means probably downloading third party anti-virus software). Now I clearly understand why the problem is never solved...

Amazing

[3.09 a hour]

What I dont understand is how tactics like this have won him the title of richest man in america, Ive seen drug dealers with better customer relations

+1 FUNNY

[scum-e-bag]

Gates: We're big believers in interoperability.

Come on, mod me +1 FUNNY for all those who haven't RTA...

I pissed myself when I read this one.

Re:No thanks

[bakes]

I think I remember a recent /. story that said the average was now down to about 12 minutes.

But, maybe SP2 takes it back out to 20mins.

I guess he's right

[Klowner]

I mean, spyware and viruses weren't made by microsoft, IE just helps you download and install them more easily, and even sometimes automatically!

I think we should all thank Bill for coming clean about this ever increasing problem.

Embrace, extend, and extinguish.

[DeepHurtn!]

I haven't seen anybody mention my favourite line from the interview:

Gates: "We're big believers in interoperability."

Re:What's that I hear dying?

[Eberlin]

I was working on this and never finished it. I figure it's worth posting as incomplete. Apologies and respect to the original work.

My fee's all gone, I'm wondering why
I sold my soul at all --
The morning mail locked up my Windows,
They all call me a troll.
Even if they don't, everything I say
Gets all hackers' eyes to roll --
Still I tell me that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad...

Dear Bill, I wrote but you still ain't respondin'
I left e-mail, my URL, and my home IP at the bottom
I sent two bug reports last autumn -- you must not a got 'em
There probably was a problem with hotmail or somethin
Sometimes the packets take the scenic route when you route them
but anyhoo, fsck it, what's been up? Man, how's Ballmer?
Is he still a dancin' foo, screamin' "developer?"
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her --
I'ma name her Clippy.
I read about your XP SP2, I'm sorry.
I had a friend bork his box over some bitchy driver problem
I know you probably hear this everyday but I'm your biggest fan.
I even got Software Assurance that the zealots called a scam.
I got a room will all your certificates and manuals, man.
I like the stuff you did with Java, too, that stuff was phat!
Anyways, I hope you get this, man. Hit me back
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Dan.

Dear Bill, you still ain't ack-ed my note. I hope you have a chance.
I ain't mad -- I just think it's fscked up when the shizznit hit the fan.
If you didn't want to fix the bugs through Trustworthy Computing
you didn't have to, but you coulda posted a work-around for Matthew
That's my kid bro, man, he's only eight years old
Been a good boy, rebooted as he was told
by you for years and you just said "No."
That's pretty crappy, man, his drive was going idle.
He wanted to be just like you, man! Now he gets more porn than I do!
I ain't that mad, though, I just don't like bein lied to.
Remember when we met in Vegas? I said that I'd write you
And that I've always gots your back. See, man, patching is ok, in a way.
I wouldn't have bothered either
But my mom's machine got hosed and she's not a control-alt-deleter.

Re:No thanks

[Anonymous Coward]

Post it's IP, I dares ya.

127.0.0.1

Re:Ones not made by Microsoft

[spacecowboy420]

It's "internets". There's a whole bunch of these magical internets - and only the most powerful people in the country can use them. I am not surprised that you are only becoming familiar with the internets, after all, none of us would have known without W's slip up the other day. Aliens work through W on their internets towards their master plan of total mental slavery of the lazy thinkers.

Wake up America! They're controlling our mind through the internets!!! It's almost as bad as reefer madness!!!! Run for your lives!!!!

Re:Uhhhh...

[MrBlue VT]

That was a perfectly cromulent response!

Re:No thanks

[Anonymous Coward]

63.161.169.137

Take your best shot, kiddie!

Re:No thanks

[shut_up_man]

Ah, I see - It's our fault for using those nasty third party viruses and worms. We should be sticking with the official Microsoft virus and worm family, that are, by a massive stroke of irony, totally harmless to our systems.

Apparently the upcoming version of Windows will have enhanced official viruses too, that do even less but will need significantly more powerful hardware to run.

Just a matter of definition ...

[invi]

Gates: Understand those are cases where you are downloading third-party software.

Well, sure, if you call the payload in a buffer overflow attack "third party software" ...

Try Microsoft?

[chriseyre2000]

Why don't they offer the option of never trust Microsoft?

"Holes" baked right in.

[Anonymous Coward]

"IE Holes Not Microsoft's Fault, Says Bill"

I'd blame Dunkin Donuts.

Re:No thanks

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, and your wife is very attractive, keep up the good work. I only want to know who those other women are.

Re:I've heard this before.

[NecroPuppy]

Hey, at least in yours, Han spoke first....

Re:No thanks

[Anonymous Coward]

no sex *and* no porn. you poor b*stard. Divorce her and join a monastery, it'll be easier and cheaper ;)

Re:Antivirus is not a thing you "build in"

[CountBrass]

I have an alternative to your disclaimer:

[EULA. By reading this EULA you have agreed that this post is "Funny" and that if you have mod points available you will use them to mod me up Funny.]

Re:No thanks

[bickerdyke]

No no.. Bill is completly right.

All those viruses, dialers and worms comming in via email, malicious websites and so on, ARE Third party software indeed.

Or is WinXP now delivered with preinstalles Melissa-Virus?

Re:No thanks

[shintaro]

Please do not try to reason with the /. crowd when it comes to MS. Just say no!

Liar!

[alfino]

"Gates: We're big believers in interoperability."

Hahahahaha!

Re:Ones not made by Microsoft

[maxwell demon]

Yes, only silly people believe in the internet. After all, there's no indication that the internet exists. I never connect to the internet. I connect to a provider (which calls himself internet provider, but then, that's certainly just a buzzword) through my phone line through an electronic device named modem, and that provider just allows me to exchange data with other computers (like web servers). I know that the data is passed through things like routers, firewalls etc, which are also just computers. Those are connected with old-fashioned wires just as a telephone, or with just as old fashioned electromagnetic waves (like TV), also maybe through opical fibres, but I still cannot see an internet. So it's quite obvious that all this internet stuff is just made up, because whereever I look, I just find computers, electronic devices, cables, antennas and the like, but in the whole process there's obviously no internet involved. Therefore it's proven: The internet is a myth!

And tomorrow we prove that image manipulation software cannot manipulate images.

Re:Check the history of the seatbelt in the car

[Sentry21]

The car industry blamed it on bad drivers (this fits marketing as noone thinks of themselves as a bad driver).

That's kind of funny when you consider that most XP crashes are because of bad drivers too (or misbehaving malware).

--Dan

Re:Blame Game

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, it's certainly 3rd rate...

Re:Staying Alive.....

[Anonymous Coward]

A Man can have a 100 sons.But a woman?(technically not feasible)

A woman can f*ck 100 men in one day. But a man?(technically not feasible)

Re:No thanks

[DigitumDei]

What people fail to realise, is that if we had all listened to Bill in the beginning and realised that the internet was not going to get big and thus never "forced" him to destroy netscape, we wouldn't have this problem. ;)

This is great!

[emtboy9]

I just love this kind of stuff... I mean, these interviews are the things that comedy routines are made of...

Q: What's your take on making Windows Media compatible with Apple?
Gates: We're big believers in interoperability. We've stated very clearly that if Apple wanted to support interoperability, we'd make that super easy for them. The notion that a single device is all anybody is going to want is sort of like saying the Model T is the end of everything.

That just rules! We believe in interoperability, as long as you bow befor us! Kneel before Zod, errr... Bill! It is almost laughable, if it weren't so sad, to hear Bill Gates saying bad things like the above quote. Isnt what he accuses Apple of EXACTLY what Microsoft has been pusing the world to for years? What is the difference between being the sole supplier of iPods and iTunes (which Apple is) and being virtually the sole provider for desktop OSs, and using such position to force the adoption of "standards" that favor MS products.

Q: Might you add anti-virus/spyware protection in Windows?
Gates: It's not a thing you build in. You have to offer a service. There are third parties who are doing a good job. We're always taking a hard look, but we don't have any concrete plans.

Funny, thats the exact thing that was said about web browsers before IE became so ingrained into the Windows code base that its pretty much inseperable... Its amazing... it really is. Its like, his lips are moving, but the words coming out dont match the movements. Just like a poorly dubbed kung-fu movie.

Q: There is talk of a Google browser. Internet Explorer has had its security woes. How do you keep users?
Gates: More has been invested in making IE secure than any browser on the planet by a long shot. Nothing is going to change. That's the one over 90% of people are going to keep using.

Ummm... if that is the case, if I were Bill, et al, I would be demanding a refund on the IE "security" expenses...

Internet Explorer is Fine!!!

[citsacras]

Yes, Internet Explorer is a 100% safe and secure product. Its only when you use it browse web sites that it becomes vulnerable and dangerous.

And once again, Windows is never to blame.

[mrb000gus]

"YOUR SYSTEM has become busy or unstable."
"THIS APPLICATION has stopped responding."
"Because Windows WAS NOT SHUT DOWN correctly..."

etc etc etc - never once have i seen it admit "Sorry, but Windows just crashed."

So no surprise to see that once again, the blame is on the user and/or the applications installed.

Re:No thanks

[jadenyk]

Well, it's pretty easy to make a Windows box that can not be compromised as well.

Remove the power cord.

Re:No thanks

[Darby]

Wouldn't a male cow be a hermaphrodite?

A note to all dairy farmers:

Please be very careful milking your hermaphroditic cows.

Thanks you.

Re:No thanks

[tomhudson]

What people fail to realise, is that if we had all listened to Bill in the beginning and realised that the internet was not going to get big and thus never "forced" him to destroy netscape, we wouldn't have this problem. ;)

It's not just IE, it's the whole Microsoft product line. Even DOS was prone to viruses. The only MIcrosoft product that doesn't have an exploit *yet* is their keyboard.

Re:No thanks

[Anonymous Coward]

The only MIcrosoft product that doesn't have an exploit *yet* is their keyboard.

The IntelliMouse has an exploit?!?

Re:No thanks

[Christianfreak]

The optical version will exploit your eyes if you turn it upside-down and look into it.

Re:No thanks

[The-Bus]

Wait, which keyboard? This one? [ls-la.net] or this one? [fantasticdamage.com]

Re:No thanks

[cHiphead]

The MS Natural Elite Keyboard that my son poured an entire can of coke into says otherwise...

cheers.

Cows and bulls

[Frobean]

Q: What's the difference between a cow and a bull?

A: The bull smiles when you milk him...

Re:No thanks

[tomhudson]

Kind of reminds me of a keyboard I made to replace the "QWERTY" keyboard layout - by re-arranging the keycaps, it spelled "FUCKBILGATES" - now that's what I call a *real* Microsoft Natural Keyboard.

I {Heart} Windows Secutiry Flaws

[MrElcee]

I make good bank flushing spyware/malware from constipated PCs. My kids eat and I get to buy myself toys. I hardly ever see a Mac come in unless it has a hardware failure.

Make windows secure and I'm going to need a real job.

(Written on an iMac)

Re:No thanks

[Prince Vegeta SSJ4]

What people fail to realise, is that if we had all listened to Bill in the beginning and realised that the internet was not going to get big and thus never "forced" him to destroy netscape, we wouldn't have this problem. ;)

Darth Gates: Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design.

Moz Skybrwoser: Your overconfidence is your weakness.

Darth Gates: Your faith OSS is yours.

Darth Gates: Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, up there on the sanctuary website [mozilla.org], are walking into a trap, as is your OSS Community. It was *I* who allowed the Alliance to think IE was full of holes, It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best coders awaits them! Oh, I'm afraid IE Longhorn will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

Darth Gates: As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the DRM of this fully armed and operational Operating System!

Re:No thanks

[flibuste]

Well...You installed a 3rd-party can...

Re:Antivirus is not a thing you "build in"

[plover]

Vinnie: "Nice computer you got there, Azi. Very shiny, innit?"

Azi: "Yes, I suppose it is."

V: "Be a right shame if somefing were to happen to it, eh?"

Azi: "What?"

V: "Y'know, fings break. Your hard drive could start on fire, coodn' it?"

Azi: "Are you threatening me?"

V: "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying, it could get a virus, know what I mean?"