I had a flash of insight the other day. I thought of being an actor that only plays dead bodies. Job should pay well.
ACTION!: Lie there
CUT!: "That was brilliant".
Director: That was good, but let's get another, just to be sure.
Director: Yeah.... Not bad. I'm just not sure that we're really nailing this. Let's try another angle....
Director: Cut and pri-
Director of Photography: We could see him breathing.
Director: Oh fer fuck... alright let's try again. (to actor:) You know we hired you just for this, right?
Director [reviewing tape]: Yeah, I see it. (to actor:) You blinked. You know dead people generally don't blink, right? Right?!?
Special Effects Coordinator: No, look, all I'm saying is it would cost less just to corset him so his ribs can't move than it would to CGI out the breathing. The risk of asphyxiation is minimal, and anyway, the insurance is still less than green-screening him.
Director: Yeah, I fucking get it that you're tired and can't breathe. Now why don't you tell that to to those 14 teamsters over there who have been waiting SIX FUCKING HOURS for you to get one fucking scene right? Still tired, hotshot? Good, now get to your fucking first position.
Director: Finally! Print that, it's fucking magic! Perfectly lifeless. Look at that part—right there—see that? A fucking fly walks right across his eyeball. Kid, that was fucking amazi- kid? You okay? Oh for fuck sakes. We lost another. Propsmaster! Get this body off my set. And can somebody please tell me why we can't just fucking offshore these parts?