Comment Re:Speak for yourself, I'm a dog guy + 1-sided lov (Score 1) 118
I must have been good at finding the ones that should have stopped trying, then. I certainly dated a fair share of dysfunctional women years ago before retiring out of dating because it was taking time away from things that actually brought me happiness and contentment and dating just made me like shit because the relationship started out okay but quickly turned into frustration and resentment on both sides - her expecting me to read her mind and magically know how to please her in every way, (a very long list), was always a factor.
I don't claim to not have issues. I am sure that there are some things screwed up with me. I do think a lot of men are getting the short end of the stick in dating, though, and that causes them to eventually drop out and/or take on trauma that makes them less desirable. For me, I made one last try with someone I knew that had just split with her husband. I knew that it was likely not a good idea. She pursued me. She was so traumatized from her marriage that it left me with emotional scars that I am still processing today, years later.
This is a very multi-faceted issue with many overlapping issues compounding it.
It has been repeatedly observed that wealthy nations experience declines in birth rates. And we presently see this happening in wealthy countries across the globe, right now, and we have been seeing it for decades. And it's getting worse.
Your own personal experience is a common story, but doesn't suggest a root cause. It's easy to read an anecdote like yours, maybe attach it to one's own similar experience, and get dismissive and say "women just want it all, and that makes them insufferable, so relationships are done." There really is quite a lot more than that going on, for both genders, and it isn't possible to cover it all in a short post.
But the upshot is that modern-day relationships are really hard to build and harder to keep. They are legal minefields and financial minefields. A failure of a relationship can be utterly life-destroying (not just emotionally, but socially and financially and legally). It is as if our governments and culture don't want there to be relationships, and so have built a world that is outright hostile to them.
The opposite is true, the world by and large wants there to be marriage and family. The hostility largely arises from profiteering, and from a repeated pattern of "well this possibility is bad so lets mitigate it with this solution (which sounds nice but winds up being even worse)".
When we see people walking away from all this, we result to scolding and shaming and trying to deny their access to whatever they are turning to instead, hoping the raw misery of not having their needs met will drive them to plunge right back into the minefield, and somehow not step on a mine. It's not going to work. It can't work. Until we are ready to take a serious look at how we are the problem (and by "we" I mean everyone and everything that is being justified as not the problem, a huge can of uncomfortable truths that we vehemently reject), this breakdown is only going to get worse.
Addiction and dependence ARE dangerous things and given China's very high sensitivity to the dangers of emotionally charged groups with charismatic leaders, I can see why they would reject this even apart from a desire for there to be more babies. But this measure is not going to get the birth rates up, it will just take away another coping mechanism that people want.