Man, my high school career councilor has a lot to answer for. Had I known I could be teaching bees how to play soccer, I'd have actually focused on my grades...or indeed, shown up.
But no, he was always like, "Stop drinking that" or "why are you at my house at 2am?" or perhaps most amusingly, "You can't be here, I have a restraining order".
He was a bit of a kidder.