This brings to mind a classic, timeless Soviet-era joke. There are probably a dozen versions of this floating around, but here is how I remember it:
Back in the USSR, the authorities decided to run a little social experiment. They wanted to see just how loyal the average citizen was to the State and the Partyâ"specifically, how much they would endure before they finally reached a breaking point.
They picked a random city and a massive factory on the outskirts, and sent a high-ranking Party official down to deliver the news.
He arrives on a Monday morning and calls an emergency meeting. By 8:00 AM, every worker is gathered outside the main gates. The official steps onto the podium:
"Comrades! The Party must inform you that due to temporary logistical difficulties and a lack of demand for our products, we are facing a bit of a budget shortfall. In short, we all need to tighten our belts. For the next month, everyoneâ(TM)s wages will be cut by fifty percent. Any questions?"
The crowd stood there, muttering and grumbling under their breath, but no one stepped forward. The official nodded, satisfied, and everyone went back to work.
A month goes by, and productivity hasn't dropped an inch. The official reports back to Moscow, and they tell him, "Excellent. Letâ(TM)s take the experiment further."
Another emergency meeting is called. The official returns to the podium:
"Comrades! Times have grown even tougher. Funding has completely dried up, but the work must continue for the sake of the Motherland! Therefore, starting this month, you will all be working for no wages at all. Any questions?"
Again, the silence was deafening. People stood around for a bit, shrugged their shoulders, and headed back to their stations. What else were they going to do? Another month passes, and theyâ(TM)re still working full shifts on empty pockets. Moscow is thrilled. Itâ(TM)s time for the final phase.
Monday morning, one last emergency meeting. The official looks out at the exhausted crowd:
"Comrades! Iâ(TM)m afraid the situation is dire. There is no more room for our inventory and the factory is closing effective immediately. Furthermore, since this is a small town and there are no other jobsâ"and since the state budget is emptyâ"the Party has reached a final decision: Every worker at this factory is to report to the courtyard and hang themselves by the end of the day. Any questions?"
The official waits, bracing himself for a riot, a protest, anything. Suddenly, way in the back, a lone hand goes up.
"Yes, Comrade! Speak up. What is your question?"
A weary worker looks up and asks, "Well, the boys and I were just wondering... do we bring our own rope, or will the Trade Union be providing it?