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Journal Ethelred Unraed's Journal: My flavor of Christian belief, or: Ethelred Altars, Inc. 28

Journal by Ethelred Unraed

(If you already know about my Christian denomination, you can cut to the chase below. Otherwise, read on.)

Even though much of this is old news (going back to Easter), Ascension Day (which is tomorrow) seems as good an occasion as any to mention it.

Background information:

I've mentioned in the past that I'm an Anglican (or, as we're known in America, an Episcopalian). Since there is no Anglican parish in Hannover, we attend a German Old Catholic parish. The Old Catholics are a group of dissenters from Roman Catholicism; they split off in 1870 because they objected to the doctrines of papal infallibility and papal supremacy, and they were excommunicated for their objections. They later entered into a communal agreement with us Anglicans, and there has been some talk for some time about a full merger. Like Anglicans, they have female priests, priestly celibacy is optional, they have good relations with most other churches, and so on.

At any rate, the local OC parish is still in its infancy, even though it's now 50 years old. Northern Germany is heavily Protestant, so there weren't many Catholics of any variety to split off from Rome; what few Old Catholics there were in the area were mostly German-speaking refugees from Eastern Europe after WWII. Nowadays the parish is mostly more liberal types (both in the European and American senses of the word), with a heavy Green streak as well -- with a number of former Roman Catholics who got fed up with the Roman church.

Only fairly recently, the parish finally got its own parish hall, an old somewhat dilapidated rectory purchased from a local Protestant church. We've been busy fixing it up, and plan to build a chapel on the property -- a notion that has the local press excited, because most churches in Germany (and indeed Europe) are dramatically scaling back due to an exodus of members, and many churches are standing empty or being converted to other use...and here we are crazy enough to build one.

So, to the subject at hand:

Until our chapel is ready, we're using the parish hall as an improvised chapel. We had been using a small table as an altar, but I got a creative urge and designed a new one. I showed the design to the rector, who was delighted, and we built it together some time ago.

I had a great deal of fun designing it, because I was able to use numerology -- the "mystery of numbers" -- in the design to good effect, something which is quite in line with ancient Christian and non-Christian religious tradition. The altar is loaded with numeric symbolism.

Here is the result of our work.

The design is based on the following concepts, which will hopefully be familiar to those from the Christian tradition (and if not, hopefully it's interesting anyway):

  1. The five legs of the altar are arranged as a Greek (equal-armed) cross and represent the stigmata, i.e. the Five Wounds of Christ. (Look at the cross hanging behind the altar to get the idea. Paschal candles also have the same "five nails" arranged in the same way.)
  2. The outer proportions, 90x90x90 cm, form a cube, which is the simplest stable representation of three dimensions -- thus we have "three" for the Trinity, and "one" for the oneness of God.
  3. Additionally, the altar is made of 10x10 cm boards, so in the proportions of the boards, it's 9x9x9. 9 is of course the cube of 3, so again it represents the Trinity. For an added bit of numerology, 9x9x9=81; 8+1=9. Nice bit of recursion. :-)
  4. From each side, the outer frame of the altar forms a tau cross (T-cross), which some believe was the true shape of the Holy Cross.
  5. The table top, or "mensa", is composed of four groups of three boards each, surrounding a central cross. Four is an ancient representation of the Earth (four winds, four compass directions, etc.), while three represents the Trinity, i.e. God and the Heavens. Christ Himself is considered to be the union of Heaven and Earth, which is why this connection is significant. All together there are twelve of these boards: Three times four makes twelve, the number of the Apostles.
  6. The central cross inside the mensa is made of three pieces of wood, and the entire mensa is framed in four more pieces of wood, so again we have three and four, but this time it adds up to seven, which is the Number of the Messiah.

All in all it was a very rewarding experience, and strangely moving -- especially when the rector performed the consecration in an evening service on Maundy Thursday, traditionally the beginning of the Easter triad of celebrations (the other two being Good Friday and Easter Vigil).

Ethelred Altars, Inc. are now taking orders. Operators are standing by.

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My flavor of Christian belief, or: Ethelred Altars, Inc. More

My flavor of Christian belief, or: Ethelred Altars, Inc.

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  • I'm glad you got all up ons the mystical numbers isht; if yr gonna do it, you might as well go ALL the way, right?!

    I'll let you know when "Teh Church ov Teh Mekka" needs its gasoline-drenched, acid-stained, titanium altar and matching dais. Add as much pink as possible.
    • Actually, we're fresh out of pink altars, but I do have one in neon paisley and blinkenlights suitable for Elvis impersonators such as yourself. Right this way, sir.

      Cheers,

      Ethelred

      • fresh out of pink altars, but I do have one in neon paisley and blinkenlights

        I'm flexible. Now, lemme guess. You've got an EZ-Pay plan and you'll knock off $40 because you like the cut of my jib? Are operators standing by?
        • Not only that, but we'll throw in a nice set of holy smoke pots (errrr, incense burners) made out of genuine 100% aluminum if you act now!

          We accept Vatican Express, MonsterCard and Vishnu. Buy now, pay for eternity!

          Cheers,

          Ethelred


  • That thing is not long enough for the virgin.

    • You fool! We use midgets!

      ...

      Actually, traditionally altars were indeed supposed to be square, or in the proportions 4:3.

      Which is of course why monitors are also usually 4:3. Because we sit in front of them and worship them all day.

      Cheers,

      Ethelred

  • very close to the "old" 666
    • Indeed! It's upside-down, meaning the "opposite" in iconography and elsewhere.

      Hadn't thought of that, actually. Bit of extra gravy. ;-)

      Cheers,

      Ethelred

  • I looked at it and had a snarky type of critique that would not have sounded rude and contentious if delivered in person... however, when written it sounded very rude, and extremely contentious, which leaves me with very little to actually say.

    Suffice to say that I'd never be able to build something so elegant myself, and bow before your greatness - and may call on your advise for building robots to help me take over the world.

    • I looked at it and had a snarky type of critique that would not have sounded rude and contentious if delivered in person... however, when written it sounded very rude, and extremely contentious, which leaves me with very little to actually say.

      As opposed to the rest of the comments, talking about sacrificing midgets, goat straps, and acid-stained titanium altars serviced by Elvis impersonators?

      Good Lord. It must have been bad.

      Suffice to say that I'd never be able to build something so elegant mysel

      • Ethelred, when you put it that way... Oh my. No, it was a visual thing that had absolutely nothing to do with what uses the structure should have, as opposed to an outlandish comment about sacrifice...

        As for sacrifice, around here - virgins and goats don't count, because geeks are not actually missing out on anything. It's more like cracking a P4 Extreme Edition, a Dual Core SPARC, an Opteron 64 AND a PowerPC... now there's a geek sacrifice worthy of God.

        • As for sacrifice, around here - virgins and goats don't count, because geeks are not actually missing out on anything.

          Or, more to the point, the virgins being sacrificed could well be the geeks themselves.

          I have sired offspring, therefore I am able to feel all self-superior in this matter.

          Cheers,

          Ethelred

  • 9x9x9 != 81 last time I checked.

    Other than that it looks cool and will have to be balanced against the "this screams I have too much free/unsupervised time" factor.
    • 9x9x9 != 81 last time I checked.

      Whoops.

      I repeat, whoops.

      God is trolling me.

      Other than that it looks cool and will have to be balanced against the "this screams I have too much free/unsupervised time" factor.

      Sad to say, in a sense you're not far off the mark. I had so little in the way of paying work that it was a welcome diversion.

      Interestingly, since then my work prospects have picked up markedly. Coincidence, yadda yadda yadda. But a nice one. ;-)

      Cheers,

      Ethelred

    • "9x9x9 != 81 last time I checked."

      No, but it still works: 9x9x9=729 -> 7+2+9=18 -> 1+8=9

      Ain't numerology fun?
    • Shhh, nobody's supposed to notice that. I just assumed that the implication was:
      9x9x9 == 81x9 and 8+1==9
      It seems more mysterious that way.
  • Always a blessing to see a fellow follower of the carpenter on the internet.
  • Do you do any work designing religious hot tubs?
  • Very nice job, I truly appreciate the use of symbolism in constuction, it definitely a nod to the artisans of old where such symbolism was almost always a consideration.

    What type of wood?

    I too dabble in woodwork, it acts as a perfect antithesis to all the computer and technical work I do.

    • What type of wood?

      10x10 cm (roughly 4x4s), laminated pine. Largely because it was the easiest to find in the size and amount we needed, but also because much of the wood trim in the parish hall is also pine, so it matches.

      Whether we'll use the altar once the chapel is built, I don't know. It's possible that we'll redo the altar in some other wood when the time comes (oak, perhaps), since this one was meant to be a temporary solution -- and anyway our craftsmanship isn't as good as a proper carpenter's

      • If you redo it use acacia - like the ark (might want to fly to Aksum and ask the nice Abbott at St Mary of Zion chapel if he'll let you look at it)
      • and anyway our craftsmanship isn't as good as a proper carpenter's, so it'd be nice if a proper carpenter did the new one. (Our altar looks a bit sloppy on closer inspection because the rector and I were improvising it and putting it together in a bit of a hurry, just to be ready in time for Easter.)

        Last time I checked, the proper way to respond to a compliment is to say "Thank you" (or danke) and leave it at that.

        From the picture, the altar looks wonderful. And besides, how many people inspect altars

        • Last time I checked, the proper way to respond to a compliment is to say "Thank you" (or danke) and leave it at that.

          Mea culpa. I've never been one to take compliments well, largely because I'm rarely if ever satisfied with the results of my work anyway. ;-)

          But danke. *g*

          Cheers,

          Ethelred

          • I've never been one to take compliments well, largely because I'm rarely if ever satisfied with the results of my work anyway.

            I totally understand that. It's taken me years to get to the point where I don't critique my work to others.

            There are times where I still do, but that's only if I know the person is very familiar with the work that went into the piece and has the possibility of giving some pointers on specific things that I'm not happy with. (mostly sewing, for me)

            ^_^

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