You May Not Link This Web Site

Ganon34 sent us a funny story about a company requiring permission to link their website. The company in question is KPMG, a financial and legal advisory company, and the article itself is an entertaining read about the aftermath of them sending demands that someone remove a link to their public web site. It's a pretty funny piece -- especially the part about KPMG's theme song. Also references the old ticketmaster vs ticet.com case that held up deep linking. It's all funny 'cuz its true. Their page could also use some testing since it doesn't render in my browser.

Ugly Flash

[ScumBiker]

That is one horrible flash intro at KPMG [kpmg.com]. No wonder they want people to get permission [kpmg.com] to link [kpmg.com] to it.

Quick!

[Chagatai]

Someone send in Leonard J. Crabs [somethingawful.com]!

--Chag

Ooops

[joebp]

I just broke their policy [kpmg.com].

Oops [kpmg.com] I [kpmg.com] did [kpmg.com] it [kpmg.com] again! [kpmg.com]

Damnit! [kpmg.com]

Re:Ugly Flash

[Wog]

The "skip intro" link just starts the whole thing over... The horror!

Page doesnt render in browser - yep it sure doesnt

[slashbrent]

Here's the problem (from the source code):

(c) 2000, Razorfish, Inc. all rights reserved.

Learn to write HTML you losers!!!

Thought experiments

[geophile]

Thought experiments for my web hypothetical kpmgsucks.com web site (someone owns it already):

- A link to KPMG that displays only if you're coming in from a kpmg.com [kpmg.com] (oops!) address. (I'd love to hear the conversation between KPMG and its outside corporate counsel on that one.)

- A link to KPMG that shows up on 0.1% of all page views, randomly.

- A GIF that looks like a blue, underlined link to kpmg.com [kpmg.com] (oops!)

Illegal hyperlink

[aozilla]

I wonder if http://www.kpmg.com/?#define%20m(i)(x[i]^s[i+84])y )c+=y=i^i/8^i>>4^i>>12,i=i>>8^y& gt;14,y=a^a*8^a>8^y/n."[k>>4]*2^k*257/8,s [j]=k^(k&k*2&34)*6^c+~y;}} would be an illegal hyperlink... Yep, that's DeCSS...

At the recording studio ...

[pyramid termite]

KPMG Morale and Puffery Manager - Alright, guys, that sounds really positive and great, we'll send you the check in the mail.

(leaves, whistling that godawful song)

Producer - Man, I'm glad that's over.

Studio musicians - Yeah, man. Dig it. Lame gig.

Studio owner - I've been listening to these backwards ...

Producer - Well, I ...

Studio owner - You've got Price Waterhouse's human resources department's number backward masked on the first verse. I hope they don't find out ...

Producer - I couldn't resist. Hours and hours of listening to that damn song! I'm only human, damn it!

I wonder

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

are they going to go after google [google.com] ?

I bet they even submitted the link themselves ...

Re:A clever ploy, KPMG

[aozilla]

You're just saying that to to try to get me to have reverse psychology work on me.

Re:Illegal hyperlink

[Gleep]

Maybe not, but if you hit that url... then they have DeCSS in their web server's log file! CALL THE MPAA!!!

Re:Nah

[maladroit]

Or they might be hoping nobody finds text like:

The latest edition of Momentum discusses the rewards automotive companies can achieve by creating positive strategies to emissions reduction and fuel efficiency.

It's a weird mix of corp-speak and Slashdot grammer.

HEY!!! I hosted their first web site!!!

[JabberWokky]

And sat at a desk across from the guy who did their first website! Hehehhehe... That's amusing as all get out. They invested in Florida Internet Corporation, and we handled all of their internet needs early on (1995ish). They wanted to have every TLD for themselves, including all the country codes and .edu and such. It took forever to convince them that that wasn't possible in many cases. The son of the (owner, CEO?), visited all the time, and went to strip clubs every night (The Landing Strip was a favorite, I remember), and rode his motorcycle all over town. I can easily see them doing this.

Pure arrogance.

--
Evan

Re:At the recording studio ...

[CyberHippy]

Not just badly written (sounds like an attempt at a Journey-style power ballad, without the power) but horribly mixed.

Producer - Mabye if we mix this underwater it'll inspire the drones to swim for their lives.

Studio owner - I find that these magic healing magnets make audio-tape more inspirational!

KPMG Morale and Puffery Manager (in bathtub) - This is powerful stuff, that new-agey sound will keep the lemmings from revolting over this year's pay-cuts...

Lemmings on hold - Must...eat...brains...

Re:Suprise, suprise

[Ivan Raikov]

A high GPA after all, is a measure of dedication and perseverance.

Right... A high karma on Slashdot after all, is a measure of dedication and perseverance.

Re:Opinion Piece

[SheldonYoung]

It may be just me, but I think I have discovered what April Wine is doing these days.

Re:I wonder...

[Restil]

if they have written agreements with Google, Altavista, and the other search engines. If not, perhaps their name should be removed from the engine.


Actually, they don't have to. They DO have a robots.txt file. And in light of the current theme of this article, its rather amusing. :)

# everyone go away
User-agent: *
Disallow: /

-Restil

Re:Ugly Flash

[Eccles]

What does KPMG do?

I think they make hats for pro golfer Phil Mickelson.

Re:Ugly Flash

[kilgore_47]

I, too, was somehwhat uncertain of KPMG's purpose.

But after hearing their theme song [akamai.net] (mp3 from the wired article) I understand. "KPMG/We're strong as can be/A dream of power and energy/We go for the goal/Together we hold/On to our vision of global strategy..."

Re:Ugly Flash

[Unknown Bovine Group]

Doesn't typing in the URL constitute a sort of linking to the site? What about bookmarking?

Alert for KPMG lawyers: Google [google.com] seems to be linking to your site multiple times, all without having signed an agreement with you!

Dolts.

If only spammers were this legally anal...

[Squirrel Killer]

Their page could also use some testing since it doesn't render in my browser.

Well, of course it didn't render, did you ask permission to view it?

-sk

LMAO, The Slashdot Effect!

[Tokerat]

/.ed! /.ed! /.ed!

KPMG: Please do not link to our website.

HAH! I wonder if CmdrTaco is going to recieve a cease & desist letter? Watch yo bad self, Rob!
Seriously, the irony here is just to much. How does it affect them in any way except more traffic for their site == more exposure + more banner ad revenue. And unless someone is using KPMG's equipment to host that link, they don't have to agree to jack shit. I propose a new theme song:

K-P-M-G!
We're out of touch with reality!
We have a website we don't want you to see.
If you link to us we're gonna break your knees!
It's all a part of our global stradegy...

Re:Ooops

[BitchAss]

Man. These guys are silly.

The worst part is, I had a job interview with them earlier today.

I think it went quite well.

Re:jez

[mobiGeek]

...just block all referrers...

In order to do that, they'd have to be competent web developers/admins.

However, they are ... consultants [unitedmedia.com].

KPMG - the remixes!

[cascino]

Better yet, KPMG theme song remixes!
the jungle remix [phrenetic.org]
the hard-rock remix [dolanbrau.com]
There's also a teutonic remix out there somewhere, somebody want to provide a link?

Re:And require no experience

[Anonymous Coward]

I wouldn't want to be spending $1500/day for some kid straight out of school that has never done anything

You might if she was a cute girl. (I think sending out some ass to the beige halls of the Fortune 500 is the only reason these places stay in business.)

Theme song

[fldvm]

Theme song for a law and finance firm... Did these guys really go to law school or did they just watch a lot of Ally McBeal?

Question for KPMD:

[rkent]

Dear Mr. KPMD:

I heard that your firm had an excellent reputation for financial services, and I wanted to check out your website for specifics. But I can't find a link to it! Could you please write and tell me how to find your website??

Thanks,
Rob

Re:Ugly Flash

[Happy go Lucky]

I don't think that song [akamai.net] helped. It sounded like a cross between the Christian albums sold only in infomercials that play on PAX TV late at night, and the lyrics to the national anthem from one of the countries that thankfully only exist in bad 1980's post-apocalyptic fascist dystopia movies.

I'm not joking. It sounds like it was written for Warrior of the Lost World and performed by the same people who recorded "Shine, Jesus, Shine." I can just imagine Donald Pleasance conducting. And it's going to take some serious drinking and Lard to get it out of my head now.

Just to really piss them off...

[Anonymous Coward]

www.kpmg.com/about/statistics.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/7/5312%20FIF-F INALVERSION.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/IRM_EB1.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=20& l2id=0 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/home/content.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/99/february/story2a.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/disclaimer [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/news/index.asp?cid=498 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/sitemap.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/96/july/story1 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/search/index.asp?cid=267 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/99/november/story1_m11_kvdm.a sp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/directory/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/IRM_EB.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/about/index.asp?cid=459 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/97/december/story1.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/international/library/97/september/st ory2.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/microsite/annualreport/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=20& l2id=70 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/news/index.asp?cid=450 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/interactive/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/about/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/GAAP2000artw ork.pdf%20et%20www.kpmg.com/%20Rut2000_prod/Docume nts/6/2000IFS.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/tax/corporate_tax_rate_survey/default .htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/archive/august96/story1.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/98/august/Eurobk3-1.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/international/library/98/february/sto ry3.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/international/library/97/december/sto ry2.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/international/home/content.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/stats.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/ba200002e.pd f [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/salt/prodserv.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/st/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/news/index.asp?cid=499 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/default.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/98/january/story3.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/index.shtml [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/98/june/story3a.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/privacy.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/mission.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/content.asp?l1id=40&am p;l2id=0 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/about/locations.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/international/library/96/july/story1. html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/content.asp?l1id=70&am p;l2id=350 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/99/july/story3_m7_ac.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=80& l2id=0 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/99/june/story1_m6_ac.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=30& l2id=0 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/content.asp?l1id=10&am p;l2id=280 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=20& l2id=60 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/december96/parlives.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/home.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/content.asp?l1id=70&am p;l2id=210 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/content.asp?l1id=90&am p;l2id=340 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/consulting [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/about/press.asp?cid=324 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=10& l2id=0 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/7/NewBodyatl.q xd.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/disclaimer.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=30& l2id=400 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/FS/Publications/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/disclaimer.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/home/navigation.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/KPMG_MA_2001 _web_new.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/news/index.asp?cid=487 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/Privacy_web. pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/sap/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/october96/story1.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/search/index.asp?cid=416 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/february97/women.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/about/press.asp?cid=469 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/documents/9/mas.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/99/july/story2_m7_ac.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/news/index.asp?cid=373 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/international/library/97/september/st ory3.htm [kpmg.com]
KPMG International [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/home.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=20& l2id=100 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/tax [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/GAAP2000artw ork.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/search/index.asp?cid=304 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/7/Royalties.pd f [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/microsite/annualreport/kpmg_people.ht m [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/98/december/story1b.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/search/index.asp?searchTerms=m-commer ce [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/ERM.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/Default.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/servfunc.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/news/index.asp?cid=325 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/about/mission.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/irm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/sap [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/content.asp?l1id=100&a mp;l2id=0 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/ies [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/ec/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/tax/country_tax_facts/default.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/news/index.asp?cid=436 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/search/index.asp?cid=484 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/indust.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/00/february/story3_b2_ac.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/99/september/el_story5_b9_kvd m.asp [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/efraud%20sur vey.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=20& l2id=120 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/ [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/wwpres.html [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/Rut2000_prod/Documents/9/WinStrat_web .pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/microsite/annualreport/home.htm [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/services/content.asp?l1id=10& l2id=10 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/98/june/knowmgmt.pdf [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/industries/content.asp?l1id=80&am p;l2id=250 [kpmg.com]
www.kpmg.com/library/97/november/story1.asp [kpmg.com]

Reminds me of Spinal Tap...

[swordgeek]

"And this one (guitar) I've never played. See--it's still got the tags on it"
"Wow, that's something..."
"Don't touch it!"
"I wasn't going to touch it."
"Well don't touch it. Nobody must touch this guitar. In fact, don't even look at it. Turn around."

Sorry. Flashbacks.

Their disclaimer and Robots.txt

[Alsee]

Their disclaimer http://www.kpmg.com/disclaimer.html [kpmg.com] says "Based on the fundamental universal condition of the electronic communication process, KPMG does not guarantee or warrant the Site will be uninterrupted". Can anyone say /. effect?

I really love their http://www.kpmg.com/robots.txt [kpmg.com]. it says:
# everyone go away
User-agent: *
Disallow: /

-

Speaking of silly people...

[tabacco]

Someone today sent a letter to protonic.com's site support system letting us know that someone he disliked was linking to us, and wanted to know if we really wanted our company's name "associated with people like that." :)

I heard...

[pkaral]

...that McDonald's are planning to sue people who give "unauthorized" directions to their restaunts.