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Journal Surak's Journal: Weekly Recap(tm): HOT off the presses! 29

Journal by Surak
Weekly Recap(tm)

Because Enquiring Geeks Wanna Know!

SolemnDragon posted a lovely Chinese Pearl Ball receipe, which she undoubtedly stole from bethanie, the official Slashdot chef extraodinaire. Sources close to SolemnDragon tell Weekly Recap that she has hired Servo, who according to an earlier journal entry, who is not only also a chef, but may just be a lawyer, and is suing bethanie SCO style. SolemnDragon was later seen to be price gouging and infringing on consumer's privacy. Slashdot geeks have labelled her to be the next Microsoft.

ceejayoz recently got divorced over SMS. Since ceejayoz lives in the U.S., to add insult to injury, he had to pay for the SMS.

sql*kitten is having an affair with singer Blu Cantrell. There are rumours of a four-way between everyone's favorite kitty, Cantrell, Beyonce and Anastacia.

LadyGuardian, while being chased by an angry mob, who were after her for allegedly carrying fruits and vegetables that were contaminated "with all kinds of chemicals [that were] outlawed". Instead of running from the mob, she first stopped to pick up a duck, after which "It didn't move." The angry mob continued to chase the duck-killing, contaminated-food-carrying LadyGuardian to an inn called "The Willow," which according to sources close to Weekly Recap, is a haven for outlaws ran by a mysterious figure known only as "G". LadyGuardian was later seen in a bank, talking to parrots, a lady in an orange sequinned outfit, and the only teller in the bank, who was apparently, "very, very hot." LG was spotted later in the week driving a a stolen red convertible, with a hot laptop, the teller from the bank, and the parrot. LadyGuardian's whereabouts are unknown at this time. Police ask that if you see her to call 1-800-CRIMESTOPPERS.

daoine is looking for tips on being a contractor, apparently fed up with the whole Jedi padoine learner lifestyle of being basically broke. Ask Slashdot's Cliff was helpful to point out that these questions have already been answered by the Slashdot crowd, who apparently know everything.

SuiteSisterMary is converting all of his(?) servers to X-boxes. SuiteSisterMary was later arrested for violating key provisions of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, and subsequently fired by his boss, FortKnox because X-Boxes are apparently incapable of running Java.

NeMon'ess has done one worse than Surak (who merely asked Slashdot for relationship advice) and is asking Slashdot for for fashion advice. C'mon, NeMon'ess, the height of fashion on /. is those "got r00t?" T-shirts. Gimme a break!

jawtheshark celebrated his 3.5 year wedding on the 29th. Apparently not only are anniversaries celebrated on half-years in Luxembourg, but it is also legal to marry one's car there.

Em Emalb has decided to lock his two furry bitches..." in FortKnox's bathroom (mentioned last week), with a knife in a contest to the death. No word yet on which one lived, but a similar fate awaited Jim and Itai, Xerithanes "tonsils" who were also pitted to a deathmatch. No one seemed to care.

bethanie, after the controversy involving her public sexcapades, has lately been enjoying The Wild Life on her sprawling estate in Georgia. Surak publically denies ever being in Georgia or going under the pseudonymn "The Wild Life". Bethanie, when asked about her sexual practices, admitted that "there's no place like home". Meanwhile, in related news, rumours continue to stir about bethanie's sexuality, citing her recent fascination with gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and chest waxing.

TechnoLust, self-confessed gansta, was found bribing radio DJs, kissing gorgeous waitresses in a hot tub, and just generally being totally full of himself, which is apparently the secret to success with women. Either that, it was the ruffies that sources close to TechnoLust, known only to Weekly Recap as DM, say were slipped into into her drink.

Get your webhosting from simpli.biz.

SlashChick has started a web hosting business, simpli.biz, which seems to be doing well despite being so young. Basic webhosting starts at $6.95/month, which includes PHP and MySQL access running Sun Cobalt machines running Red Hat Linux. Surak denies that the reason he is spamming Weekly Recap to advertise her business has anything to to do with the fact that he thinks she is super hot.

Despite rumours to the contrary, gmhowell claims that he's not dead. But Python probably is. ;)

$$$$exyGal wants to know why tech jobs are going to India. Slashdot users wanna know why her pr0n links went there, too.

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Weekly Recap(tm): HOT off the presses! More

Weekly Recap(tm): HOT off the presses!

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  • I have a busy week of no journals, yet am found all over this recap (almost as much as bethanie!) ;-)
  • Why the hell he's never in the weekly recap.

    Oh wait... I rarely post journals. Never mind.

  • The next microsoft, indeed.... *rubbing hands together gleefully*

    But i admit that it gives me pause when writing a journal entry: Is this really clever enough, i ask myself, to be twisted into some personally discrediting statement in the weekly recap? Can this be used against me in some way?

    And if the answer is no, back to the mines i go. *sigh* But then, never mind, i'm realising that i ask that about everything i'm into. If you're going to live it up, i say, you're gonna have a lot to live down... h

  • A fine job, Sr. Surak.

    Your Weekly Recap(TM) is one of the shining jewels in the /. JE crown. :-)

    ....Bethanie....
  • Nothing make a man more confident than being mentioned in a Weekly Recap(TM). I'm sure to get many more women from this new source of confidence (as soon as I whip up another batch of phenobarbital). ;-)
  • I've been having a bit of a personally shitty last few days, then I read the recap this morning I actually laughed out loud.

    Of course, I can't stay here for long... I'm on the run, you know. Mobs, Parrots, Cops, it never ends! ^_~
  • Here I am all the way across the country, thousands of miles from home, with nearly daily journal entries, and I gets no love or no mentions. Oh well, I guess I'm just not interesting enough.
  • Doesn't seem that the guy got divorced by SMS. That's unreliable journalism you know!
    • Doesn't seem that the guy got divorced by SMS. That's unreliable journalism you know!

      What? Weekly Recap(tm) has nothing but the highest standards of journalistic integrity! We have been compared with fine, fine world class publications with millions of readers such as the National Enquirer, the Weekly World News, and the Star.

      We strive for excellence in journalism. If you ever see a story that you feel is in error, please let us know!

      Surak,
      Editor-in-Chief
      Weekly Recap(tm)
      • "publications with millions of readers such as the National Enquirer, the Weekly World News, and the Star."

        Where are the Page 3 Girls? To live up to the standards of the Star, I believe you need pictures of bare breasts.

        • "publications with millions of readers such as the National Enquirer, the Weekly World News, and the Star."

          Where are the Page 3 Girls? To live up to the standards of the Star, I believe you need pictures of bare breasts

          So I take it you're volunteering your wife/girlfriend/sister/mother/etc.? ;)
  • The problem lies, of course, in the use of the word "anniversary". If only I would have found a better word. Thought of "birthday" first, but it's not really a birthday either. Just shows my limitations in the English language, I guess.

    Oh, well, the only thing you have to be careful with being married to your car, is not to drive around with your car before sex. I mean: those tailpipes do get pretty hot after a while.

    • Oh, well, the only thing you have to be careful with being married to your car, is not to drive around with your car before sex. I mean: those tailpipes do get pretty hot after a while.

      Ewww...thanks for that mental image, Shark! :)
    • `Anniversary' actually is fine usage, here, btw, just a little unusual. Can't tell if you know that...
      • I thought it was... otherwhise I wouldn't have used it. Of course, it's a bit unusual, but how would you have said it? Probably the "odd" 3.5 years didn't help. Tssss, and I was going for never getting mentioned in the Surak Summary.... Started off bad it seems.
  • snicker....

    *SNICKER*

    hehe....
    HAHAH....now dats funny.

    Nice work dude.
  • Now I just gotta grab your journal's RSS and then I can aggregate your aggregation!

  • ... went into my journal instead. No, I'm not fan whoring, I'm foe whoring; entirely different and far more interesting. Also harder to do really, been doing it for ages yet there are "trolls" with more foes then me :( And I'm not going to troll; Slashdot is nice for trolling but that's honestly not why I'm here. Regular forums are far easier to troll anyways and I don't want to associate myself with /. trolls. So, go to my journal, look at porn and decide you want to hate me! Or don't, I don't care, just

    • Vulcan...err...man. :)

      Some other twit had a .sig that said "Cool! Someone hates me!" so I obliged and he later got pissed about it and ranted at me in the main forums. I'm like, whatever, dude, you were the one who said you liked it when people hated you, I just obliged. :)

      Whatever. Fan whore, foe whore, karma whore, I don't even care anymore. Slashdot is no longer the ubercool tech news scene it once was, it's become more of a social hangout for hackers and geeks than anything else. I don't care. Le

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