it won't provide all of the bells and whistles but I often get the basic functionality with zero clicks.
I struggle with your argument. You say that Ubuntu does it better than Windows but describe a situation where some of the features don't work, and then sign off with a statement that it's "good enough for you"? That doesn't sound like it's better than an alternative, it sounds like you're accepting of downsides. My own experience is Ubuntu's horrendous management of audio devices is ... charitably said, as bad as Windows, but especially for the likes of communication headsets, significantly worse.
I've seen Windows machines take nearly that amount of time just to install one feature update.
Feature updates haven't taken 30min for about 5 years now. If they are, consider getting your SSD checked. I don't think a Windows Update (feature or otherwise) has taken a computer offline for more than a few minutes at a time. Back in the Windows 10 days I'd happily have agreed with you, they were really bad back then.
I've been amazed at how many times the solution requires firing up Powershell and asking a completely non-technical user to execute commands
I honestly question what kind of system admin you are, or what your users are doing. I would happily wager real money that 99.9% of users have never ever seen, used, or in most cases even heard of Powershell. And the only situation I have ever come across a requirement for someone to use it, it was entirely self inflicted, i.e. the admin's own scripts were the ones that screwed something up in the first place. Corporate IT for you.
After well over a decade of not using Windows, I decided to install it on my desktop and I was blown away by how much effort it took to get even basic things working.
Define working? What didn't work specifically? Honestly I've not come across a Windows install that didn't "work" out of the box. Now you may want to adjust it to suit your tastes, but most people use apps on their computers and don't even bother screwing around with their OS. On the flip side I do remember spending an hour to get Ubuntu to try and use both of the connected displays on my dock at home. I actually gave up, but it turns out Wayland worked just fine out of the box. It's better now that it's not a choice anymore, but when your first user plugs a laptop into a USB C port and you need to explain to them the difference between X11 and Wayland that's not a good experience in the slightest.
FWITW, Ubuntu 24.10 did work on my machine out of the box first go, but then so did any Windows I've ever installed. These days I hope it's a wash, but seriously your complaint about Windows here makes little sense to me. And yes I use a default Microsoft image, every driver automagically downloaded, everything automagically worked. Sure maybe you have some esoteric hardware, but that problem still exists in Linux, I fuck around for an hour trying to get my printer going whenever I have a new Linux install at home and that's plug and play in Windows. I fuck around an hour trying to get my GPIB card working in Windows, that's plug and play in Windows.
The reality is for most people it's an absolute wash. Techies frequently are the source of their own problems. We fuck around with the OS (all of them) and find out.