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Journal eno2001's Journal: DRIVING RANT: It's Called BRAKING DISTANCE! 29

Journal by eno2001

This is dedicated to every stupid mother fucking, cock sucking asshole who just HAS to sit on my tail when *I* am following the speed limit on the freeway.

I have a short ride to work. About 15 minutes on a good day and the entrance to the freeway is about five minutes away. It's not a major route in Cleveland. It's "route 2" AKA "The Shoreway". The speed limit is 50 MPH. That's a 5 (F-I-V-E) and a 0 (Z-E-R-O) and together they are 50 (Spell it with me morons F-I-F-T-Y)! I like following the speed limit. It's the right thing to do. I don't care about hypothetical situations where I need to speed up for safety reasons because those are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule. You can take your fucking exception, fill it with gasoline, shove a rag in it, put it in your ass and then light it.

My solemn vow is to make sure that when you ARE on my ass, I go incrementally slower. You have room to cut around me on either side in almost every case. If not, I typically shift into a lane to give you room to pass. So WHY, if you have room, do you NOT PASS!!!!? Are you hoping that by being six to twelve inches from my rear bumper, that I'll suddenly decide to break the speed limit for a worthless steaming pile of shit like you? You couldn't be more mistaken. I'm not going to break the speed limit, I'm going to slow down so you'll take a hint. And when you finally decide to fly past me while staring me down or flipping me the bird, please be aware that YOU are the asshole, not me.

What is it with you people? There is a very important concept that you should have learned early on when being taught how to drive. It's called BRAKING DISTANCE. This is the amount of space required between you and the car in front of you that gives you enough distance to stop should you need to slam on the brakes. Back when I was learning to drive (1986) braking distance was one full car length for every ten miles per hour. So, if you are going 35 MPH, that's three and a half car lengths. You SHOULD be able to brake safely without hitting the car in front of you if you follow that rule. That's why *I* follow that rule. It just makes too much fucking sense!

But I see you cum slurping dickless wonders all over the roads keeping just two or three feet of braking distance between you and the car in front of you. Why? Can someone tell me why the roads are populated with gibbering morons who don't know how to drive safely? I don't want to hear about your anti-lock braking systems or your 'leet driving skillz. I want a good, rational explanation for why you drive as poorly as you do. And I want a good reason why I shouldn't follow you to your next stop, pull you out of your car and beat the living shit out of you a la "Mr. Eddie" in the David Lynch film, "The Lost Highway".

Now that I've got a daughter and I drive with her in the back seat occasionally, I get even more steamed when someone pulls this crap. You selfish motherfuckers who only think about where YOU have to go need to actually go to fucking hell. Or better yet, take some remedial driving lessons and learn about braking distance. In know that the way that you determine braking distance has changed a bit in the years since I've taking driving lessons, but I don't believe that the rules about FOLLOWING THE POSTED SPEED LIMITS have changed. Follow the speed limits you chum gobblins and maybe you will keep a decent distance from the cars in front you.

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DRIVING RANT: It's Called BRAKING DISTANCE! More

DRIVING RANT: It's Called BRAKING DISTANCE!

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  • In Seattle. In San Francisco and in St. Louis.

    I can be ripping at 80 MPh on some empty California stretches. Thre lanes to pass, and Mr. 105 MPh while talking on the phone thinks he's a damned caboose!

    With the kids aboard I'm at the limit.

  • I'd leave out all the asshole stuff but otherwise agree. The speed limit is there for a reason. Wherever you go in the world (UK in my case) you get the same same problem between people who use their car as a tool to travel to places, and other people who use their car as a cross between penis extension and real-life video game.

    What really grips me is that people in the "hey it's just a car" category have to pay for the losers in the other category. Where I live there are many unneccessary traffic jams bec
  • My experience of driving in 22 states now is to watch out for Ohio plates. Ohio drivers are dangerous. Ohio drivers are the ones that will turn left from the far right side of a six-lane divided highway.

    That said, when driving in Ohio, the drivers seemed relatively sane (probably because [in my book] their state troopers are behind only Georgia in aggressive ticketing).

    Anyway - I say this to my wife (who drives the speed limit when she remembers to do so)... If you are going the speed-limit, stay out of

    • Hehehe... here in Ohio we have to watch out for Michigan drivers. They tend to drive 75 on any freeway.

      Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of Ohioans don't know what the "demon lane" or "passing lane" as I call it, is for. They tend to like to use the center and right lanes, and at times the tarmac as passing lanes.

    • Here in New England we have to watch out for Mainiacs.

  • I do it. If I'm doing the speedlimit, and people insist on not giving correct following distance, I slow down and wave them to pass. They can tailgate someone else.

    3 seconds following distance is what you want: it gives you time to react, slow down, and be safe without suddent movement.
    • Yeah. That's my usual approach. I slow down enough to tip them off that they must pass me if they intend to go any faster. But man does that seem to piss them off. They act like *I'M* the bad driver. Complete dolts.
    • Slow down, give them room, but do not wave them on.

      If you wave them on to pass and they get in an accident overtaking you then you could wind up liable. (Remember legal liability and reponsibility are quite well divorced these days.)
  • I need to get one, it said, "Unless you are a hemorroid, get off my ass!" Basically you have people who think that they should be able to drive any speed they want, and everyone should get out of their way. Your typical dumbass who, sooner or later, will cause a major accident. If they only kill themselves, good riddence, but please I ask them to try not to harm anyone else eh? Most recent: on the freeway someone lacking in the brain department driving a corvette whips up on my ass; his car was purple maybe
    • Hahahah! I like that bumper sticker quote.

      Right now, my current M.O. is to slow down little by little until the ass takes a hint and pulls around like he's supposed to in the first place. It works about 99% of the time. Only occasionally do I run into clueless dorks who keep following me that way even off the freeway. One time, when I was stopped at a street light, one of these assholes came up to my car window with a paint scraper and asked me to get out of the car and fight. I told him to get back i
    • "Quit tailgating me; go kill someone else moron"

      I was thinking about a bumper sticker that said something like "If you can read this and we crash, you pay".

      • I wanted to do a full width bumper sticker with a car on the left marked "Me", a car on the right marked "You", and a double headed arrow line between the two with "One car length per 10MPH" in big black letters on a white background. Of course it could vary. It could say "Three seconds to catch up" or something to that effect. Personally, I still don't get the idea of how you time how long it takes you to reach the car in front of you without tailgating them in the first place to time it. But... whatev
        • Well, I have a *LOT* of pet peeves when it comes to driving. I live in the KC MO area, and although I *swear* people here are the worst drivers, I'm sure there are other places that are as bad, if not worse. I used to waste large amounts of time at TardSite.com [tardsite.com] for instance.

          I think part of it is that I was raised in a country where the minimum driving age is 18, and it's a country that hasn't had cars on the road for a large portion of its existance.

          For instance - turn signals. I always turn mine on a few

      • Hey that gave me an idea, maybe one that says, "By reading this bumpersticker, you agree to QUIT TAILGATING ME". I swear the number of dumb things I see people do on the road makes me want to install a camera in my car, if for no other reason than to show in court that I wasn't at fault if I ever get in an accident.
  • they might be drafting? Looking to save gas? What have you got something aganist Mother Nature?

    Two Words:

    Vio
    Lence

    That is what they need. Violence to tailgaters.
  • Also known as the "Oh Shit Another Michigan Driver!!!!" Highway.

    Whenever I'm driving on Route 2 (yeah I live in Texas now, originally from Ohio, and I try to get home as much as I can) and I see dark blue and maize plates on Route 2, my life passes before my eyes. Even in Texas, I occasionally see a Michigan plate, which instantly causes fear and panic.

    Still, route 2 is the best way to get to Cedar Point from Toledo (home)....

    Go Buckeyes.

  • Um.. (Score:1)

    by Sloppy ( 14984 ) *

    So WHY, if you have room, do you NOT PASS!!!!? Are you hoping that by being six to twelve inches from my rear bumper, that I'll suddenly decide to break the speed limit for a worthless steaming pile of shit like you?

    Um.. I was drafting. Yeah, that's it.

    Actually, back in the 80s, I really did that. I'd get my lil' Honda Civic a few feet behind a truck, whenever I drove back'n'forth 'tween Las Cruces and Albuquerque. Got great MPG. It's not that I'm "green"; I just thought it was a great hack (and who

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