Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
User Journal

Journal bethanie's Journal: Stop the Inanity!! 37

Journal by bethanie
(Bonus points for anyone who gets the reference, i.e., all yous who stayed up late watching infomercials during the early 90s -- you're my peeps!)

Disclaimer: This is another cranky pregnant chick post. Beware of profanity ahead. And don't fucking give me a hard time about it, either, FortKnox.

So what is it about women that, the second they encounter a pregnant woman, the *only* thing the feel compelled to talk about is pregnancy-related shit? OK, yeah, I get that it's kind of a "universal" thread among womanhood... We are the Holy Sisters of Perpetual Gestation and all that. But is that *all* we have in common, the *only* thing you can find to talk to me about? OK -- I realize that folks are just making small talk, and having *anything* out of the ordinary to talk small about is a thrill, and actually, I appreciate the congeniality of small talk. But still, it's getting to me a bit, so I'm gonna vent a while. 'Cause you guys just never get to experience this sort of stuff first hand.

How are you feeling?
Oh, please. There's no way in the hot boiling lava pits of Hell that you really want to know the answer to this question. But I'm gonna give it to you anyway. You wanna know how I feel? Well, among other things, my back hurts. My hips have turned into silly putty and the only thing supporting my internal organs is the already overworked band of muscles around my lower back, and they aren't happy about it. Oh, and speaking of internal organs, they are now officially squooshed. I can't take a deep breath 'cause my lungs are being compressed, my bladder has been reduced to the capacity of a Dixie cup, and my stomach has shrunk in size so that even the most minimal digestive activity results in indigestion and heartburn that can only be resolved by popping Tums like they were candy. I'm thirsty all the time, even though I'm drinking more than 2 liters of water a day, and in spite of peeing out at *least* that much, I feel like I'm carrying around an extra 20 pounds of water, anyway. I feel so much like an overripe piece of fruit (probably a pear would best describe it) I should have a Del Monte tatoo on my ass -- even moderate pressure makes me feel bruised, so that I can't lie on one side or another for more than an hour at night without feeling like I've completely mashed myself. My ankles plump up like Ball Park Franks after any kind of moderate standing or sitting activity -- I'm having to force myself out of the habit of crossing my legs or ankles, in hopes of maximizing my circulation.

So, you ask how I'm feeling? That's how. But my polite answer is "Pregnant." They usually catch my drift.

So, what are you having?
A cow, if you ask me that question anymore! A BABY, you ignoramus, what the fuck ELSE would I be having? Ultrasound technology may be a pretty cool thing for being able to detect potential problems, and for letting parents get a glimpse of their baby's alien countenance before birth, but this whole premature gender disclosure thing has gotten out of hand. If you want to find out, that's fine and dandy -- but DON'T just automatically assume that everyone else feels the same way. I *hate* it when people do that, and then they cop such an attitude when you explain that you don't *want* to know ahead of time. My mother-in-law has actually complained that we aren't finding out the gender, because it's hampering her being able to sew matching Christmas outfits for the kids. Fucking CHRISTMAS. The baby's gonna be born by the middle of July. That leaves you 5 months to figure it out. Please do try to cope.

When are you due?
What am I, a fucking library book?

The baby will be born when it's born. Around the beginning of summer. Don't try to pin me down to any more specific timeframe than that, 'cause that's as good as anyone can guess, anyway. This means you, MOM.

Have you picked out any names?
Well of course I have. But if I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it. 'Cause you know the only reason you're asking is so that you can tell me what you think about it. Well, you're not the one who's gonna have to say it 300 times a day and love it. That makes it none of your damn business, so butt out.

So those are my gripes right now. Not as bad as I thought they were going to be, actually. And to be honest, there are some really nice things, too.
  • I'm taking long naps with Kiddo every afternoon. I definitely need them, but I feel extra fortunate to be able to take them. I know that sleep is going to be *really* hard to come by once I've got to coordinate schedules with two kids.
  • Baby2 is moving around a whole bunch, and it's very reassuring. It's also super cool to press Kiddo's hand against my belly and watch her face light up when she feels the baby kick her. She has really embraced the whole "big sister" concept, and I have assured her that she can be a baby, too, even after Baby2 comes.
  • I'm not sure about the science of it, but I'm definitely feeling some good mothering hormones flowing through my system. I'm more patient, affectionate, and accepting with Kiddo. She's done some regressing already, but mostly she just needs extra snuggles and hugs and quiet Momma-lap time. I'm finding it very, very easy to just sit and hold her for as long as she likes, and I'm even enjoying some of her more annoying antics. This is a very good thing.
  • The whole nesting thing is *really* cool. I have *finally* been getting settled into the house (after moving in last July), and going through tons of our possessions and throwing out the clutter. Things are finding homes and getting organized. I'm getting all kinds of little sewing projects done for Kiddo, like curtains for her playspace window. And the house is, on average, being kept remarkably clean!

So, all in all, it's not so bad. But please, if you end up in a room alone with a pregnant lady, take mercy on her soul and try to discuss something *other* than her pregnant state. Try the weather, or traffic, or some bit of pop culture trivia, or what you did for April Fools -- anything to give her a break from the same old monotonous small talk she's subjected to constantly! Thanks!

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Stop the Inanity!! More

Stop the Inanity!!

Comments Filter:
  • I'm thinking of an athletic, short, white, & spiked, loud-mouthed hair woman... Susan Powter [amazon.com]. :)

  • All I want to know is how are you feeling? Do you know what you're having yet? When are you due? I think due dates are quite fascinating. Have you picked any names yet? I like Cathleen for a girl.

    Please, I need to know all of these things as you know I'm an expecting father [slashdot.org].
    • I was wondering who the first smartass would be who did this.

      Of course, if it had been someone else's journal, I probably would have beat you to it. :-)

      ....Bethanie....
  • This is one of the best posts I've seen you make. It struck me for two reasons:
    1. +5 Insightful. I don't do children. At all. But others do. Fair enough, so long as they don't try and force their views on me. But the problem is, they all do. I guess it's hormonal. Parents of babies and young children don't seem to be able to grasp that there are other things in the world. I'm sure that help them nurture their kids, but it really pisses the rest of us off (or maybe it's just me?) My parents don't understand
    • Hey, thanks. I'll take that as a resounding compliment, and I'm really impressed that you actually followed the links!

      I gotta say that one of my *major* motivations for hanging out on /. is to talk about things *other* than "mommy" stuff. Yes, I do talk about parenting and breastfeeding and other stuff with the other parents around here, but there's also so much more that we talk about. Not so in real life, and that's just kinda sad...

      ....Bethanie....
  • Heh, that was one of the sub-plots on "er" tonight.

    Never mind... if you didn't see it, you don't wanna know.
  • I'm sending this to my sister-in-law.
    She's due in August.

    FWIW, your family is just excited, however, you do have to wonder where they park their brains sometimes.
    I've got a good idea, though.

    Keep up the good work, fluid, rest, etc.
    Remember, you'll be sweating like a pig in July right after the baby is born.
    And that'll be nice. ;-)
    • My family is just a bunch of jerks, that's what they are. I can't relate to *either* side, and they obviously can't relate to me.

      And I'll be sweating like a pig *before* the baby's born, too. Don't forget -- I'm in Georgia. By May, it swelters.

      When I had Kiddo, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight in two weeks' time -- that's how much of it was water, I think. It was incredibly exciting when my ankles returned a week after she was born. I kept taking pictures of my feet.

      But thanks for the encourageme
  • Tell them that it was an immaculate conception. Or mix it up with one of the Greek myths where women get pregnant from livestock, water fowl, or streams of golden light. The more conviction you can put into it, the more delicious their reaction will be. Trust me, it kills 'em.

    Nothing like telling them that God fathered your baby ;)
  • It turns out that people don't actually want an honest reponse to "How are you doing?" Huh. Fancy that.

    I hate it when people ask questions they don't want the answer to.
  • This is the best JE I've ever seen you do. Quality, quality work. Keep it up. I see bright things in your future.
  • Sorry, I have to point it out:

    The baby's gonna be born by the middle of July. That leaves you 5 months to figure it out. Please do try to cope.

    When are you due?
    [...]The baby will be born when it's born. Around the beginning of summer. Don't try to pin me down to any more specific timeframe than that, 'cause that's as good as anyone can guess, anyway.

    Why not pin it down to 'sometime in July most likely'?
  • Holy crap, I ask those questions of pregnant women all the time... who knew I've been pissing off all these ladies my whole life!

    I can see why it drives you nuts to go through it 50,000 times a day, and I'd like to think that when I got past the 1st question and received a less-than-enthusiastic response, I would back off - but keep in mind that 49,950 out of the 50,000 would be perfectly satisfied with an answer of "this summer" to the due-date question, and are really just waiting to utter words of appro
    • Here's an idea: Have a casual conversation with a pregnant woman the way you would have a casual conversation (assuming you're white) with a black person.

      Do you talk to them about being black? Do you ask them how many times they've been discriminated against today? Do you bring out your best Eddie Murphy imitation, because *obviously* they must be a fan?

      Lord. I hope not.

      You basically, in your own mind, see that they're black and then if *they* make some comment or something based on that fact, then ma
      • To answer your question - no, I tend to refrain from making comments on quite a number of topics that I suspect might offend people. But it's easier to avoid making offensive comments when you know they are offensive.

        But after today, I have a new standard of political correctness (-: No belly talk for pregnant ladies, no kiddie talk for married people, and no marriage talk for single people. Ever.

        Say you still love me, pretty please B, I wasn't trying to upset you...

        Pixie
        • Oh, sweetie -- I think you are taking me completely the wrong way. I'm not upset at all. If I vent about this stuff in my journal, I certainly can't complain about having a legitimate discussion about it afterwards.

          My response was quite considered -- it took me a while to come up with an appropriate analogy, and that was the best I could do. Again, I wouldn't say that belly talk is completely verboten with pregnant women -- *many* are perfectly happy to talk about it and share with you all kinds of detail
          • **pops head out from behind large heavy object, blinking against the sunlight.**

            O-mi-god, I'm so glad you forgave me, and didn't obliterate me. I don't think I could do slashdot without you, B! It would be no fun whatsoever...

            I think I get your drift now... I was trying to imagine the possibility of ignoring the belly on every pregnant lady I met, forevermore - but that's not the point. The point is, the pregnancy questions could/should be one of many conversational points in a mostly non-pregnancy orie
  • Thanks for your post. I've passed the link on the son/daughter that called to pass on the happy news.
    I'll try not ask those questions of her, but she is the director of a christian daycare/childcare center over in the Puyallup valley, so if she hasn't heard all those questions, or asked them, she is primed to what she is in for.

    due in December, no, perhaps, not yet.

    wb

Slashdot Top Deals

If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.

Close