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Journal Journal: This one is for RailGunner 12

User Journal

Journal Journal: I have but one thing to say. 6

Suck it, Yankees!

Yes, I know the M's are currently 6 1/2 games back from the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in the county of Los Angeles in the State of California that resides within the United States of America in the Northern Hemisphere of the planet Earth which is part of the Sol solar system that lies in the middle of the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Milky way Galaxy.


I don't care about that.

We are also one game back from the wild card in the American League.

I don't care about that, either. What I do care about is crushing the soul of the New York Yankees. Getting the wild card would just be cake.
It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: Prostitution degrees available soon in New Zealand 2

So if someone has ever thought about joining the prostitution field and wants to get a head, they need look no further than New Zealand. From the article:

But MPs on Parliament's education and science select committee were told today that although courses in the world's oldest profession might be considered if providers put them forward, they would still have to meet tight criteria to get funding.

I wonder just exactly how tight that criteria has to be.
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Journal Journal: Lolmetal 4

Yeah, you heard it. lolmetal. For those of you who have had enough of lolcats.
It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: NAACP delegates 'bury' the N-word 8

Earlier today the planet Earth had the rare opportunity to bury a racial slur. Normally these things are reserved for things that had an actual living presence such as a loved one, a pet or even a favorite plant, however in a stupendous defiance of all things rational the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) did precisely that.


The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton attended the ceremony at Detroit's Memorial Park Cemetery. The tombstone will have an epitaph, however the inscription has not, as yet, been disclosed. Apparently there is some difficulty in both identifying the slain slur and keeping it anonymous. "Tomb of the unknown insult" has been proposed, however some in the community feel that would attract undue notice and perhaps grave robbers.

Onlookers cheered as the NAACP planted the profanity into it's final resting place.

"Today we're not just burying the N-word, we're taking it out of our spirit," said Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. No news on where the partial exorcisms will be performed, however an anonymous source indicated that it will be held in numerous small ceremonies worldwide to ensure it is completely neutralized.

"We gather burying all the things that go with the N-word. We have to bury the 'pimps' and the 'hos' that go with it," continued Mayor Kilpatrick. This action is perceived by some to be a genocidal endorsement of whole swaths of people spanning the world and crossing racial and ethnic lines.

In his eulogy the Rev. Otis Moss III, the assistant pastor at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, said "This was the greatest child that racism ever birthed."

Black leaders have demanded that the entertainment industry stop using all racial slurs. Thanks to their heroic actions today the N-word, as of today, will no longer be available for use.
User Journal

Journal Journal: CFLs good for the environment? 3

Bad for your pocketbook.

I will be amused to see what happens in states and countries that are mandating a conversion to CFLs when they find out that they contain mercury and may be bad for the environment. No, it is not a HAZMAT situation like in the article, however how many people know how to properly dispose of them? You save them up and dispose of them like you do a PC or microwave. You do NOT toss them in the garbage. (Unless it's just this once because you need to do something else quickly.)

Currently I am waiting for the lawsuits to pop up when people figure out that mercury poisoning is a remote possibility. The lawyers will have a field day with that, legislation banning the bulbs will be put in place, and the companies sued for making a dangerous product.

The fact that they were legislated into use and have complete instructions on the packaging will go unnoticed.

Journal Journal: 1973 vs. 2006 11

Scenario: Jack goes duck hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2006 - School goes into lock-down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Both are charged with assault; both expelled, even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Jeffrey sits still in class.
2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin; becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a spanking.
1973 - Billy is more careful next time; grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2006 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark has a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1973 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1973 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, and goes to college.
2006 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally, explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class-action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway, but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1973 - Ants die.
2006 - Ants die; BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism; FBI investigates parents, siblings are removed from home, computers are confiscated, Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary, who hugs him for comfort.
1973 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

"It's like deja vu all over again." -- Yogi Berra