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Journal SolemnDragon's Journal: Things to which i have accidentally set fire 45

Journal by SolemnDragon
oke. So maybe it's more than i thought. Was reading posts from last night, and it got me to thinking.

Toast. Back when i could cook toast, yes. I set toast on fire on a regular basis. Every so often there would be another session of the flaming toast. I can't count how many times. It was a lot.

I did not set the dustbin on fire. That was a relative. I was, howver, the person who spotted that the kitchen dustbin was aflame, and it was put out. Don't put matches in the trash after you've lit them. I thought everyone knew that???

Pot-holder. I'm in the kitchen, cooking something. I don't even remember what. This was back when i lived with the roomie. Well, her parents spoiled her rotten. But in the thousands of things that they gave her, they included many, many pot-holders.

She was on the phone in another room. The pot-holder catches fire. (fortunately not the oven mitt kind.) So i'm standing there, with the hot pan from the oven in one pot-holder and the other one's on fire in my other hand.

"J-........J_!!!!!!!" No answer. She's on the telephone in the next room. She talked on the phone a LOT. So there i am with one flaming pot-holder and a hot pan, and so i do the only thing i can think of: still holding the pan (there wasn't a place to put it down, she also didn't do dishes) i drop the pot-holder into the sink (which was empty, since the dishes were everywhere else) and run the water.

She comes out, ten minutes later. "Were you calling me? Is something burning?"

"Yes. The pot-holders that your parents gave us are flammable." It was quite the little adventure.

Hot grease. *floomph* is sort of the noise when oil catches fire. 'nuff said.

Pasta. I sem to remember something about flaming spaghetti. I'd forgotten about that one. Geez, you guys have jogged my memory on all sorts of things here! Yes.. The spaghetti spilled on the stove and caught fire. More interesting, because it was uncooked and it was rice pasta, which is arguably better as fuel for the stove than for eating. *ick!* That one wasn't fun but more easily extinguished.

And of course, last night's dinner. *sigh* i think that's most of the list... maybe. If i think of more i'll tell the story later.

sol

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Things to which i have accidentally set fire More

Things to which i have accidentally set fire

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  • . . . why was the adjective "accidentally" necessary in the title of this JE?
  • I thought that was an american colliquial name for a bong.
    • Well I have to say, I was a bit mystified. Still am. Does anyone want to explain what a pot holder is, and how one would go about setting fire to it? For that matter, how do you manage to set fire to toast? That must take some talent.

      The only thing to which I can recall setting fire[1] was a friend's kitchen bin, and that wasn't really me, although I was involved. We were working on the car to get it through its MOT, and I can't remember why, but there was a blow torch involved somewhere. The match used t

      • It's not supposed to be very flammable, you use it as insulation when you hold the handles of hot things? It's usually square, did i spell it wrong? Sometimes they're mitten shaped and get called oven mitts, and you can use one in place of a trivet on the table when you set the pot or pan down?

        Oke. Dictionary.com says it doesn't have a hyphen. *sigh* the office door suddenly gets broken inwards and several burly people begin dragging the dragon away... no, not the grammar police- heeeelp!!!!! sounds of

        • Sometimes they're mitten shaped and get called oven mitts, and you can use one in place of a trivet on the table when you set the pot or pan down?

          Ahhh, that makes sense. I'd thought you might have been referring to a trivet, which is why I was confused about how you could have set fire to it. We don't tend to have such things in the UK. We either use oven gloves (the mitten shaped things to which you referred) or just a tea towel or something. There's no separate concept (of which I'm aware, at least) of

      • A pot holder is a device by which you can remove something from the oven and still have functioning hands after the experience. It may be something that surrounds the hand (a.k.a. an "oven mitt") or just a square piece of thick cloth. What do you call them?
  • It just sounds like you're earning your stripes, sweetheart. :-)

    ....Bethanie....

    • Re:I wouldn't worry (Score:4, Funny)

      by turg ( 19864 ) * <turg@@@winston...org> on Friday September 12, 2003 @09:04AM (#6941999) Journal
      Yes, every time something burns a dragon gets her wings.
      • OMG! That is *funny*!!!!! :-)

        ....Bethanie....
      • Yes, every time something burns a dragon gets her wings.

        Occupational hazard for a dragon. Don't worry about it Sol - just trying to make sure it's only the cheap stuff you burn ;-)

        The toast bit reminds me of the guy who had the room next door at college. He had some kind of allergy which meant he had to eat special bread; unfortunately, this particular kind burned very easily, and he liked toast...

        • i can't eat wheat. Rice bread scorches like you wouldn't believe. I've gotten much more careful about watching toast these days, however... (switch to closeup of capering dragon, watching a toaster closely. Smoke begins to rise from the toaster, and she rubs her hands together in anticipatory glee...)
          • i can't eat wheat. Rice bread scorches like you wouldn't believe. I've gotten much more careful about watching toast these days, however... (switch to closeup of capering dragon, watching a toaster closely. Smoke begins to rise from the toaster, and she rubs her hands together in anticipatory glee...)

            You use a toaster?? Surely, for a dragon, that's the ultimate laziness... ;-)

      • i think technically it goes, everytime there's burning things/
        Another Dragon gets their wings...

        *grin* hoo boy do you get points for that!!!!! you're soon due for a prize, too. Start thinking now.

        • Are the points like boxtops? When I get the prize, am I giving up my existing cache of points? Are there better prizes if I save them up longer?
          • you get points whether you have points or not, you don't get to save them up, because i'm quite fickle about when i award prizes (and might forget that you're high on my list of favoured entities, since i've invariably got a horde of life and health issues clamouring for my attention. It doesn't mean that you're any less splendid, just that i've been forcibly distracted.)

            So choosing prizes means that you are more likely to get future awards, not less. Snubbing the opportunity means that i feel slighted an

  • I once managed to light a frozen loaf of bread on fire, well not really it was more like the plastic bag surrounding it but anyway.

    I was much younger, around twelve years old if I am remembering correctly.

    Anyway, my mother used to buy a few loaves of bread at once (the store bought sliced kind) and throw them in the freezer. So when we used one up we would pull the next one out so it'd be ready for the next day, simple enough right?

    Well my younger brother and I were home alone one day and wanted to make
    • *duh* seen quite a few of those.... mum accidentally left the label on a bag full of chicken she was trying todefrost, and the label somehow caught alight and went up in flames before our eyes...mm, yummy plastic coated flaming chicken... the kitchen smelled funny for days...
      • To add insult to injury.

        I fairly recently, when not paying attention, managed to nearly light on fire some bacon that I was nuking. Nothing like stopping the microwave, pulling out the plate and finding semiburnt paper towels and carbonized bacon. Yuck.

        The microwave STILL does not smell right even after a complete scrubbing its been weeks now too.

        I also witnessed in a cooking class back in high school a similar feat to my bagged bread one with some differences. A girl in the class was attempting to de
  • You should try setting fire to a Wotsit (kinda puffed wheat cheesy crisp things from the UK). Although that wasn't really an accident. More of an... experiment.

    It smelt good though, and also didn't taste too bad.
  • Doesn't that sorta defeat the purpose?

    Rice pasta? You can set uncooked rice pasta on fire? This I have to see.

    For the record, I have never actually set anything on fire unless it was on purpose, except my own shirt. Which I spilled a little gasoline on and hadn't really noticed since I had a cold at couldn't smell anything. I then proceeded to light candles. Never light candles while you have gasoline on your sleeve. Trust me. ;)

    • i thought she meant attractive!!! Not i see that the word still applies, if one adds, TO MOTH-RA...
      • Never mind the text, the correction was posted in the subject line. That's it, back to your regularly scheduled journal!!
      • i thought she meant attractive!!! Not i see that the word still applies, if one adds, TO MOTH-RA...

        Bethanie told you I was hot? *blush*

        Is this true, Bethanie? ;)

        • remember? I asked bethanie about your self-advertisement and she said that you really were? *getting out the brick and the velvet again* c'mere, i'll jog yer memory!
          • After I come to, will someone PLEASE remind me to patent reverse phrenology? ;)

            • homer simpson voice:

              Patent pending, patent pending, patent pending!!!!/ homer simpson voice

              three cheers for bricks! who knew???

              And just for good measure, a brick joke:

              A hoodlum and his girl are walking down the street, They pass a window with a pretty necklace inside. She admires it, and he promptly smashes the glass with a brick and presents it to her. She's delighted. They walk on, and he sees a jacket in a window that looks like it's her size. He smashes the glass with a brick and helps her into t

              • They walk on, and they pass a window with a gorgeous ring collection. She looks at her sweetheart. He sighs, and says, "C'mon, baby, whadd'ya think, i'm made of bricks???"

                *groans*

                That was .... ummm... awful, quite honestly. ;)

                Kinda along the lines of this one:

                A frog walks into a bank, walks up to the teller and asks to take out a loan.

                The teller points and says, "You need to go over there and talk to our loan officer. Her name is Patti Black. She's a nice lady."

                So the frog goes over to the loan off
  • All of our hearts. Or was that intentional?
  • Yes, I have accidently set me on fire. I was put out by a fire extinguisher. Burned quite a bit of me too. Spent several weeks in the hospital in a intensive care burn ward.

    It wasn't fun, and I don't recommend any try it.

    And kids, "Stop, Drop and Roll" doesn't work on pine needles. It just ignites the ground.

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