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Ximian

Journal Shadow Wrought's Journal: Yes I Actually Wrote This 12

No, no offense is intended. Teaching ID in schools would neccesarily entail teaching any belief, since that's what ID is. The FSM simply illustrates this point in a humourous manner. Do with it as you will:

2 Vermicelli

12) And the Flying Spaghetti Monster did speak unto the people, yea, and his Noodly Appendage did touch the hearts of Man, yea, and verily did man hear the Flying Spaghetti Monster speak.
13) Verily I say unto you that it shall come to pass that man will doubt my Glory, yea, and of mine power and holiness whilst he forget.
14) Verily, shalt man be ripe in in iquity and arrogance, yea, even so far as to imagine that he understandeth my creation, yea, even that he understandeth that which I didst create.
15) For it shall come to pass that in his iniquity and arrogance, yea, even with the cunning which my noodly appendage did bestow, yea, verily shall with mine own gifts shall I be denied.
16) For it shall come to pass that as he denyith me, yea verily, even with arrogance and iniquity shall he turn his cleverness away from mine glory, yea, even unto believing the blindness of his senses to that which is transparent.
17) And it shall come to pass that Man's arrogance and iniquity will crave to better the Glory of his Creator, yea, even so far as to believe himself above Me, yea, for verily shall he create devices with his cleverness that he may measure his senses, yea, even as to measure all.
18) Verily, I say unto you that neither man nor his devices may knowest that which I have created, yea, for only the Creator may knowest all of his creation.
19) And woe be unto man then, for verily shall I smite his arrogance and iniquity, yea, and it shall come to pass that he shall be smote.
20) Verily, I say unto you that my Noodly Appendage shall touch his clever devices, yea, and so shall his devices of cleverness be touched, yea, even unto that they lie unto him as his heart lieth unto me.
21) And it shall come to pass that my Noodly Appendage shall harden his heart, yea, and woe be unto him, yea, who will no more taste of my garlicky goodness.

3 Dubloon

5) And like unto Pirates shalt thou dress, yea, and when in likeness of Pirates shall I know thee to be true.
6) Verily, if thou asketh if an eye patch makest thou a Pirate I say nay, yea verily, an eye patch does not thou a Pirate makest.
7) And, verily, if thou asketh if a wooden leg makest thou a Pirate I say nay, yea verily, a wooden leg does not thou a Pirate makest.
8) And, verily, if thou asketh if a hook makest thou a Pirate I say nay, yea verily, an hook does not thou a Pirate makest.
9) And, verily, if thou asketh if saying "Aargh!" makest thou a Pirate I say nay, yea verily, saying "Aargh!" does not thou a Pirate makest.
10) And, verily, if thou asketh if keeping an parrot on thy shoulder thou a Pirate I say nay, yea verily, keeping an parrot on thy shoulder does not thou a Pirate makest.
11) And, verily, if thou asketh if keeping an matted beard makest thou a Pirate I say nay, yea verily, an matted beard does not thou a Pirate makest.
12) And, verily, if thou asketh if thou wearest, or indeed waveth a flag, of the skull and bones on a field of black makest thou a Pirate I say nay, yea verily, wearing, or indeed waving a flag, of the skull and bones on a field of blackdoes not thou a Pirate makest.
13) I say unto you that if thou wouldst knowest me, and do that which is right, then though wouldst dress as a Pirate with almost all of these, yea, not but one or two or simply three, yea, but, verily, thou wouldst incorprate not less than four of these.
14) And if thou doth not dressest as Pirates, yea, if as a Pirate though dressest not, then verily I say woe be unto you.
15) For verily shall I fire my creation, yea, even so far as to flood mine own coasts and melt mine own ice, yea, even until thou suffocatest on thine own noxiousness.

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Yes I Actually Wrote This

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  • OMG (Score:3, Insightful)

    by FidelCatsro ( 861135 ) * <fidelcatsro@g[ ]l.com ['mai' in gap]> on Thursday October 27, 2005 @03:18PM (#13891326) Journal
    Heh , a good laugh..
    May just work .. force them to teach all ideals equally .. including Satanism , demon worship , devil worship , Nazi occultism , AND GOD FORBID Catholicism and Buddhism
    • Re:OMG (Score:3, Insightful)

      Same with prayer in school. The first time someone sacrifices a goat before their final, the whole call for school prayer will disappear.
      • Re:OMG (Score:3, Funny)

        by FidelCatsro ( 861135 ) *
        To quote Tom Cruise(This will never happen again) in Magnolia
        His holly words of worship
        "Respect the Cock , Respect the Cock , Tame the cunt ,Tame the cunt"
        I would love to see their face when someone offers that up as a prayer
        • Re:OMG (Score:3, Funny)

          Christian Coalition lawyers v. Scientology lawyers. It'd sell on pay-per-view.
          • Shoot the losers and Dump the winners at sea :D
          • HAH moderation Extreme on a JE ..
            Hey wait .. who do you know that is not banned from moderating ;)
            • "HAH moderation Extreme on a JE .."

              It's sorta pointless really, as funny moderations don't give karma and its not like people use the score filter for journals. Waste of a perfectly good mod point.

              Not that I can do much about it. I was banned years ago for some unknown reason...
              • You, me, and most everyone I know. Since I linked to my JE in my sig, I'm guessing it was someone who doesn't normally patrol these parts;-)
              • My karma is maxed out anyway so I like funny mods ;) I consider them to be the highest of all moderation.
                  I got Banned I think after I lambasted Zonk for a really really stupid story that also linked to the wrong site
                but then What isn't a waste of moderation points about these parts recently ;)
                • I haven't had modpoints for a long time. It probably has to do with that hidden mod karma thing. Oh well, modpoints come with a free supply of crack anyways. Hence why this [slashdot.org] post of mine got modded up +5 Funny whereas most of my actually funny posts don't get modded up.
                  • Ever wonder why, if puns are the lowest form of humor, that more people don't get them? To me, punning is an art, and you showed yourself well;-)
    • Don't worry.

      It's already quite permissible to teach Islam in schools.

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side. - Han Solo

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