No time to troll means no time spent looking at this horrible redesign. What drugs were they on when they came up with this, and where can I get some?

If only there were a journal spammer that could help me find a place to get a massage. ... and release my second chakra. HAPPY ENDING!

McChrystal is a liberal democrat who voted for Obama. To those who think the GOP will run McChrystal in 2012 - Have you even read the Rolling Stone Article or are you just being a partisan dumbass?

THIS STUPIDITY IS WHY YOU DESERVE IT WHEN I TROLL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.

If you connect with some dude wanking off, make fun of his lack of endowment. In fact, you can tell him that the only reason he's doing that is because there's no chance at all he'd ever please a woman with such inadequate equipment. Eventually, he'll be shamed into hiding. Unless he doesn't speak English. Or he's Canadian like Captain Splendid, in which case he's so emasculated he's lucky to have a penis at all. Tell that guy to pull away, eh? Tim Hortons, eh?

If you connect with a celebrity, you're being trolled. Hell, it might even be me. One way to test is to intentionally talk about revolting things like necrophilia, an if Jessica Alba doesn't look disgusted, it ain't really her. Don't be a dumbass and fall for such an easy troll.

This has been a public pubic service announcement from your pal Red.

mostly because I was bored, and got a hummer for 10 bucks. I would have left a tip, but I already gave her the whole thing.

Wow, that joke sucked. I should troll myself for even posting it.

... and stay for the girl fight between two dudes who were all choppy-choppy on their pee-pees.

You're so vain... you probably think this post was about you.

That brunette in the Soma ad is fucking HAWT.

Dumbass. Slashbots don't need STD testing - all they do is masturbate to pr0n all day. Talk about failing to know your target audience.

Clearly, Barack Obama hates black people.

Barack Obama said he'd capture Bin Laden, that he wouldn't take his eye off the ball, blah... blah... blah...

It's been a year, dumbass. Let's see some results.