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Journal: Google search settings are "broken" (rant)

Journal by Bob_Who

Google's saved search settings remain a broken, bogus, reminder that Google cannot fix chronic epic failures in the user browsing experience.

I can't believe that after several years time, no matter the machine or version of windows or browser that the "Open each selected result In a new browser window" dialog check box does not function. I suppose this is Google's subtle assurance to the world that: "no matter what we say we are doing, its the user fault if its broken. No matter what assurances we offer to control the data that we amass of your lives, you can count on us to do things according to feature specifications you can't possibly comprehend. When that promise is delivered, we'll just blame you if it doesn't work. We'll pretend that the Emperor has clothes as he indecently exposes himself to world...but it's his ass, and we keep our own covered."

You're like Facebook, only exposed from the behind... Assbook, perhaps?

A broken search settings feature that you pretend functions (if the user just signs in with cookies) remains a stark reminder that you will not keep your word to manage the software or data as advertised or as it is understood by the user. Ironically, this is a pure demonstration of false advertising but we'll blame cookies..... Not only does the feature chronically fail to function for millions, it targets the very users who attempt to control cookies. Still this defect continues to be IGNORED by Google in all of its splendid FAILURE to remind us that something, like privacy and promises, is broken.

How much longer can Google and Microsoft continue to operate in corporate mediocrity on the deluded premise that it's "not their bug" that "it's a feature" and it's somebody else that is to blame for the BAD USER EXPERIENCE? This is the opposite of Quality Assurance - it's consistently defective features that remain dysfunctional as long as the Emperor's bare behind is mooning the world. Meanwhile, you neither confirm nor deny your complacence in the public's self delusion of decency.

Chomsky called this manufactured consent, which you have glibly branded "Don't be Evil". Well then, what does that make you, and how does that really improve the situation for anyone? I guess it pays for a few inflated mortgages, but otherwise its not particularly helpful in the grand scheme of things. Its sad to think that I once lived in a "do the right thing" world that has eroded into the "don't be evil" flaccidity of naked imperial dick.

You're Welcome.

Just remember, I don't need to fix this, you're the one getting paid so you figure it out. I don't care about your ludicrous cookie policies and rationales for why its not broken, so ignoring my insights any longer is just bad service.

Google isn't evil, cookies are evil. It's your fault. If the customer is always right, then apparently we are not the customers. Are we ?

And by the way, the "feedback" function on the search results page is mysteriously broken, as usual. It says "try again later" which is corporate speak for p!ss off! So I'll just post this on the boards where it will fade into oblivion.

I honestly don't expect a reply that I want from Google. Its not about some procedure that I need to do to make it work - its about what Google needs to do to fix the user experience ...or just stick it where the moon don't shine.

Get it?

User Journal

Journal: Sprint, Walmart launch Common Cents mobile

Journal by Bob_Who

As reported on Broad Band DSL Reports.com, Sprint and Walmart launch Common Cents mobile - You can call it 'Common Cents' or 'Boost' or 'Virgin' or 'Sprint', it is still not a great deal. Prepay Common Cents cellular at .07Â a minute / per text still boils down to a $20/mo. bottom line, for some, since your minutes may expire monthly. Unused time and inactive phone numbers may be forfeited, so you better feed the kitty on time. Its half the price of Sprint's $39.99*/mo 2 year contract price point (* $46 or so, w/ surcharges & fees). Unfortunately, the customer must buy yet another new cell phone to add to the collection of unnecessary toxic land fill. The fact that my old Sprint phone can't be used on this SPRINT network is par for the course, as is the fact that value is targeted only for some: Its really better for light users, and terrible at $1 per Megabyte for high bandwidth customers.

User Journal

Journal: Suddenly my first Slashdot "Relationship Change" notification - But Why? 2

Journal by Bob_Who

Suddenly, after years on this site, my very first Slashdot "Relationship Change" notification ever - But Why?

Below is what I received from Slashdot, for the record.

                Slashdot Message for Bob_Who
                      * Message Preferences
                      * List Messages
              Relationship Change
              sent by Slashdot Message System on Monday May 03, @12:05AM
              esme (17526) has made you their foe.

OK Slashdot, who the fuck is this and why do I care? Does this mean we're breaking up? Jerry Springer and Maury will have to pay for the paternity test....

I've been slash dotting a couple of years, lots of comments, moderating, and participation. In all that time, I never had any involvement with [friends, foes, freaks, fans] because I just don't have any interest in tagging virtual users. I just don't need to manage that info, and so far, not one other user has found the need to index me as such. Comments can illicit a response which is a suitably relevant record of interaction with another user opinion - it seems unnecessary to tag that user in any particular way. So far, this reality is consistent, and I never even consider the feature's usefulness. I can keep score on real people, but fail to see the value in defining the imaginary, virtual, or text based entities who are only a handle to an anonymous opinion. That being the situation, it was a real surprise to me when suddenly, for no apparent reason someone needed to define their relationship to me. Weirder still, its a long time slashdotter (based on member #) and furthermore, I am designated a "foe". I don't even bother tagging goatse a foe, so this must be some serious grudge (fuck)

Okay fine, I have no doubt that I say all kinds of stuff to piss people off, but usually, if that occurs, my offensive statement is challenged then and there, with a thread to the post, or simply moderated, or in some way confronted at the point of entry. In other words, friend or foe - its all a reference to an interaction with a specific posting. If I am "foe" its because I posted something specific. It seems to be completely retarded that a person [freak] would make the point of designating an opinion of me without any reference to a topic that elicited this response. Its inane, and meaningless, and retarded. I have spent an hour looking through my recent entries and this persons postings and trying to find some clue as to where we ever had the slightest discourse or interaction. I have no basis to friend or foe them. I just know that for reasons that completely elude me I am designated a foe. So for the record, if I wind up dead or missing for no apparent reason, I hope that dateline NBC will dig up this posting (and my corpse) and discover that although there may be no apparent motive, a reliable indication of the perpetrator is hereby established. You may never find my body, but you'll always have this journal entry as proof that I have a true enemy, cyber-foe, fatwa, hit man, stalker, or whatever - right here on Slashdot.

Its important to understand that people you never knew existed, or who in fact may not exist at all, are quite aware of you, and have made it known to the internet that they consider you a foe, for the record, on Slashdot. Its so special and meaningful when you cannot even begin to guess what could possibly be the relevancy of this antagonism without some little clue or reference to a keystroke interaction.

It just blows my mind that when I finally have my very first "Relationship Change" (like a virgin) notification from Slashdot, that there is not even slightest clue or indication as to why. What is the fucking purpose of it then? Its totally meaningless if this is some random designation. I mean what's the fucking point? I'm completely confused. What a neurotic feature. Its like socially inept "faceless book" non interactive mystery discourse. Its just stupid and creepy, from where I sit. I just have no earthly idea why this person even made the effort to opine their view of me, and yet completely evade any reference to my interaction. or anything I ever said that is meticulously stored and indexed in Slashdot's database.

Oh, you mean I stole your wife, ran over your dog, and got you fired, dented your car? No? I have to keep guessing?

(imagine Al Pacino Scarface voice) Well, say hello to my little friend ! (machine guns and dirty bombs) Kaboom! Oops, there goes Philadelphia.....

Or maybe you think I'm John Cussack in Grosse Pointe Blank since I do have a high school reunion coming up....That's it! Its a job! I have a new hit contract! I've been hired to get medieval on this guy's ass. This is the one I'm supposed to "Bada Bing" at Tony's sausage factory.

Whatever.

User Journal

Journal: My /. karma changed today to excellent.

Journal by Bob_Who

I've had neutral, bad, and good karma, but I was unaware of excellent. I wonder what I did this time to change it. I also wonder if there might be other karmic levels like 'terrible' or 'transcendent' or 'unknown'. Thanks for the endorsement /. Like my grandmother used to say, "Flattery will get you everywhere."

User Journal

Journal: Slashdot is great service. Keep up the good work. Thanks.

Journal by Bob_Who
Well, I just gotta say that in spite of my previous gripe about libelous troll karma, Slashdot is way, way better than most any scalable portal / social network / news and data exaggerator. I realized this as I was slamming AOL and Corporate America's greed and short sightedness, when it occurred to that at least Slashdot keeps it's eye on the ball and continues to deliver real value to the world. A consistency of value and function, while resisting the kind of decay and degradation one can expect once that "upstart" is sold to big business. But Sourceforge isn't AOL or HP. I'm glad that informed perspectives found in top usenet newsgroups or college classrooms are distilled here with the daily news feed. This bloggy convention seems to work for me here, and at Flickr (also acquired by big corporate brother). If its any consolation, I don't pay to subscribe at either place. But the way I figure it, you guys definitely get value from me. I am generally so committed to free stuff that I'll spend the currency of my quality time, instead of fast bucks. It won't pay the bills, but at least it celebrates Slashdot's collaborative process and growth.
User Journal

Journal: Slashdot Karma is Fascist Crap - Don't Tread On Me. 2

Journal by Bob_Who
Karma: Bad. Screw you pinheads. Your Karma is every bit as bad, so bite me. I'll never subscribe now. In fact I won't submit or comment. Why should I? You pissed me off and now I just want to insult you and put my effort into worthy causes - not your fascist intimidation and conformity imposed by little narrow minds unworthy of the task. Your system is way too loose to start flinging insults at me. So I feel like flinging them back. This is a cure for flame? Interesting choice. I have dozens of posts and yet one "off topic" remark negates my karma score to BAD. This degrades my status, and subsequently, reflects on several hours of GOOD thoughtful prose. You idiots! Oh wait, I guess its BAD when you are the one being called names, isn't it? Now I'm a troll and a flame bait. Just exterminate me. I'm BAD. Clearly people confused by the contrived moderator task thrust upon them will tend to look for fault, and moderate like hard boiled nuns at a catholic girls school. Furthermore, your punitive attack outweighs the positive strokes for "good" behavior. You are all stick and no carrot. That's stupid and annoying, and will never properly motivate an ass like me. Where's the credit where credit is due? Is it all negative score keeping? Is it too complex to find a fair, reasonable system that does not completely tilt the importance of poor content over good? Can't you distinguish blatant spam from a difference of opinion or mild infraction of your divine holier-than-thou standards of humor or rhetoric. Irony, satire, allegory and other literary devices confuse the common 'dork denominator' or perhaps elude them altogether. Like Nurse Ratchett in Kesey's "...Cuckoo's Nest", you want to break Murphy down, and squash the 'unconventional' or the 'misunderstood' like a bug. A BAD Karma flame bait troll bug. If it ain't GOOD, middle-of-the-road homogenized view, then it must be BAD KARMA and we must stamp out BAD KARMA immediately before it spreads. You like that snap! whacking yardstick, don't you Sister Sadist? That's a pretty nasty habit and spanking, from the short end of your stick. Dick. Well, you just suck out loud. Fix your own shit. Your Karma is an insulting label. Its asinine. You're just being a dick. Just like me, right now. How do you like it? Dick for dick, tit for tat. Just like any racist, prejudicial, fuck wad, Nazi, scumbag, n-word exploitation.... this is your BAD karma when you crap on my karma and call me BAD - after all of the mostly GOOD efforts and results I have contributed here. DON'T BE A DICK. KARMA NEEDS TO BE FIXED. Just ask Earl.

Think of your family tonight. Try to crawl home after the computer crashes.

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