The only possible way is to disclose to the responsible manufacturer (OpenSSL) and nobody else first, then, after a delay given to the manufacturer to fix the issue, disclose to everybody. Nothing else works. All disclosures to others have a high risk of leaking. (The one to the manufacturer also has a risk of leaking, but that cannot be avoided.)
The other thing is that as soon as a patch is out, the problem needs to be disclosed immediately by the manufacturer to everybody (just saying "fixed critical security bug" is fine), as the black-hats watch patches and will start exploiting very soon after.
All this is well known. Why is this even being discussed? Are people so terminally stupid that they need to tell some "buddies"? Nobody giving out advance warnings to anybody besides the manufacturer deserves to be in the security industry in the first place as they do not get it at all or do not care about security in the first place.