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User Journal

Journal Journal: Emergency Cooling Your System 4

1. Remove side of case.
2. Lay system on it's side.
3. Turn up CPU fan all the way, if adjustable.
4. Take cheapass dual window fan, turn on highest setting.
5. Aim fans into case.
6. Profit!

My system was running at 114F/114F at idle for the case/cpu when I got home today. It started to cool off outside and everyone turned on their heat on the lower floors, apparently, which made my apartment really warm. When I brought my window fan to the rescue, the case temperature plummeted by 23F to 91F, and the CPU dropped back to 100F - both well within safe operating temperatures for a 2.6C processor (AMD Fanboys, Achtung! It was on sale when I bought it more than a year ago and had an 800MHz FSB).

What I need to do is get a full tower case. This cheapass mid tower POS only has one exhaust fan on the back, and it's cramped. Then, I need to reapply some good thermal paste to the CPU, replace the IDE ribbons with round cables, and chop the new case up to mount these frickin' window fans. Heh. RPMs aren't so great on them, but with the area they cover, they work damn good. It's hard to beat the cooling for the price.

User Journal

Journal Journal: I Do Not Support Hard Sentences for Crackers 13

Frankly, half the companies that get hit deserve it.

If you don't believe that, I have an exercise for you. As you're bopping about web pages of medium sized retail sites (e.g., not Amazon or eBay which have invested barrels of cash in securing their systems), try putting random values into forms and alter the GET strings on pages. Eventually, you will find one that is vulnerable. Here are a few tips to get you started (click here to skip 1337 h4x0r1ng tutorial):

The easiest way to exploit a vulnerable script that queries a database is to use a single quotation mark: '
 
For example, let's say we have a form that has 2 fields called 'user' and 'password'. They query the database and bring back one record of information. These fields are not checked for bad characters, and it queries a table of user information. Me, Mr. 1337, wants to know about another user: Mr. Luser. What can I do to get information about Mr. Luser without knowing his password?
 
  User: |Luser| Password: |' OR 'a'='a|
 
We can probably assume the following SQL statement is pulling back data:
 
  SELECT * FROM userInfo WHERE user='user' AND password='password'
 
With user and password being filled in by the form. Well, guess what I just turned that SQL statement into when I put that funky password in:
 
  SELECT * FROM userInfo WHERE user='Luser' AND password='' OR 'a'='a'
 
Oops. Well... a always equals a, so we just satisfied the condition and got Mr. Luser's personal information.
 
Similar tricks involve passing in comment specifies (two commonly recognized comment starters are -- and /*) For example, we could use this instead for our example above:
 
  User: |Luser| Password: |' OR 1=1--|
 
and the statement becomes
 
  SELECT * FROM userInfo WHERE user='Luser' AND password='' OR 1=1--'
 
Note how the extra ' in the statement above is now commented out. Without the comment, the 1=1 try would have turned into this:
 
  SELECT * FROM userInfo WHERE user='Luser' AND password='' OR 1=1'
 
Which is a syntax error.
 
Other tricks involve trying to insert HTML and scripting into variables that spit out content that gets put onto a page and using INSERTs, JOINs, and a particularly nasty one: exploiting unchecked UNION ALLs so that you can execute your own custom SELECTs from head to toe.
 
Just play around and try to think of what the SQL or code is in the remote file. You'll find something eventually.

Once you have found something, go ahead and try to report it to the appropriate people. I guarantee 9 times out of 10 you'll be ignored. I have built elaborate, real life examples of how system can be exploited, sent them to companies with a problem and gotten... nothing in return. This is the norm. On top of that, I couldn't tell you how often I've telnet'd to a webserver and run HEAD only to see they're running some long-ago version of OpenSSL that's exploitable, or running an old version of Apache or IIS. In one notable instance, I found EXECTUABLE SHELL SCRIPTS in an visible directory of a site that had server names, user names, and path information embedded in them. At least one of the servers mentioned in the scripts was running a vulnerable SSH server. Upon notifying them of this find.... I was ignored.

These companies sit around with their thumbs digging around in there asses on the assumption that they're better off playing dice with the Internet bad guys than spending the $200 it would take for two guys to work on a fix for half a day. Then, when some bad guy DOES come along and exploit the problem, they get all pissy and the lazy ass adminsitrators scream for blood because now their whole system is fucked and lardbags actually have to get up off their jiggly asses, waddle to the server room and do some fucking work.

I don't give a shit if you DID lose $3 million worth of customer credit cards in the break in. In fact, I think if it can be proved that some kind soul reported the problem to you, and a reasonable amount of time has elapsed for a fix to be implemented, and you did not implement that fix, I think your company should be liable to the customer for 100% of the losses they suffer and be responsible for 100% of the damage the break in causes to any affected persons credit rating, bank accounts, etc. The guy who broke in should get a maximum 18 month jail term, fines, probation, and 50+ hours of community service.

Fuck this shit with guys getting outrageous jail terms for computer crimes. If I had a reason to believe that the companies who get hit were less than 90% culpable for the losses in the first place, maybe I'd feel a little differently. However, as I see it, these people are simply being turned into examples because lazy adminstrators and/or shit-for-brains management (yes, I know I'm being redundant) don't fix problems and need a scapegoat for their miserable failings.

So, hey, Mr. Ashcroft? I'm sure it gives you great meatbeat material at night when you knock some pimply-faced 17 year old down a peg for breaking into some big business friend of yours, but I'm calling bullshit. You're full of it, you traffic in it, and it seems like shoveling it out to the public is your only job, since you clearly don't do anything useful you psychotic little stumpfucker.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Dogma 13

I just dug this up.

No doubt, some of you were already aware of this account since it was being "run" by a couple of folks from the "circle" here - Technolust, E TS Wong, and glh. I came across it while scanning Brent's fans list (or friend's list... one or the other) for ignorant people with strong opinions on stupid topics to pester (us ignorant hardheads tend to clump together, which is how you get the pissing matches you do between us).

I was browsing the account's three comments because one of the subject lines caught my attention and this brought me to the comment I linked above.

What, exactly, is it that's tormenting us poor souls without religion? I feel no torment. I don't even feel any after effects from the fried chicken I ate for lunch.

Few things aggravate me like the "blessed elite". These jackasses who think they've got something so great irritate me to absolutely no end, because, in fact, they're holding up their incredible depth of ignorance as if it were some positive trait. These people actually believe in their superiority over the rest of "us" based on the fact that they're too stupid to think for themselves. The entire concept here is ridiculous. We know something had to create "all this" and that torments us? Hardly. Hmm... let's see. We exist, therefore we were created. We were created from more component parts, so they had to be created. Likewise, the heavier component parts were created from the base components of the universe, and those base components had to be created. Etc, etc.

Yes, no shit Sherlock. At some point in time, something had to be created somewhere from something else by something. We diverge at this point, however, when you say something stupid like "wwwwwwwhwhhhhhaaaaaaaaa GODDIT!" and I say "I would like to investigate the inner trappings of the universe and the basic underlying laws that it follows in order to come up with a likely explanation for its origins".

See, the problem here is that your way is stupid. I could just as easily claim that a giant ant named "Mooktar the Great" shit out the entire universe one day after eating an ethereal chili dog at a picnic of the great elder gods of old (it must be hard to have "elder gods of young") and my "explanation" would be just as intelligent and credible as yours. That's the problem with faith. For it to really work to its utmost, you have to totally abandon intelligent, critical thought and just run with whatever assinine idea you're given.

Don't worry about me and my 'torment'. I'll just sit quietly on the sidelines mulling my inferiority for daring to call crap on your fancy fairy tales and Book of Lies (attention non-thinking religious dogmatics: DO NOT READ THIS ). Woe is me, who chooses to actually try to think things out rather than running with the indoctrination of a bunch of creepy pedophiles and butchers.

And if that last set of comparisons bothered you, just remember friends. If you're a Christian, and god doesn't speak directly to you (a sure sign of a schizophrenic mind), your marching orders came from those psycopaths (and, going back farther, significantly psychopathic Jews as well) at some point.

And, for those of you who take exception on the grounds of "but I'm not like that!"... well, real sorry, but you claim kinship with these screwjobs, so you get to claim allegiance to them when they're on their bad kicks just like you do when they're on their good kicks. It's your damn religion, fucking fix it. I can't help it that you let every inbred stumpfucker in that manages to make it through the door.

Tormented indeed. As you can see, I'm just writhing in mental anguish over here.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Stupid Subnet Banning Crap Malda Freaking.... 1

So, I'm banned at home too. Obviously, there's no way around the 1337 coding skills of the The Pudgy Malda, so here's what I"m gonna do. Because I hate having to wade through proxy lists trying to find working proxies that also work on Slashdot, I'm gonna build me a little scripty dip to get around subnet bans with minimal hassle. It will work as such. Similar to Sexual Asspussy's shitstorm.pl script, you will put your information in a text file on your filesystem somewhere. The format will be as such:

User:your_username
sid:SID_to_post_comment_to
cid:CID_to_post_as_reply_to
proxies:see_below
MSG:blah balh your meassage goes here until EOF

The proxies line will be either a list of potentially working proxies or a list of URLs where the pages contains a list of potentially working proxies. The system will sweep the proxies to make sure they're up before trying to post to Slashdot. Then, the remaining potential proxies will be used to try and post your reply. Once a working proxy is found, it will be saved to another known good list and that list will be tapped before trying to use new proxies.

Known bad proxies can optionally be ignored in the future depending on whether they failed to respond at all, or only failed to work on Slashdot.

I'll try and keep it as light as possible so I can distribute it to people in a standalone package who don't have Perl installed and don't want to bother doing so. That way, if folks like Sol get swept up in a subnet ban they can still use this script without having to do any UNIX-y stuff or install anything.

Why would I do this? Because banning on entire subnets does not work. It HEAVILY penalizes up to 252 people for the bad actions of 1 (or, if you've misconfigured your network badly enough, 254 people for the bad actions of 1). On subnets that involve dial-up users, it could potentially ban several hundreds more than that because of on rotten apple. That, combined with the fact that they still allow anonymous posting and don't really respond to requests to "help track 'them' down" when someone emails the management, means that there's just no way this current system can do what it's supposed to. On top of that, you can't stop real trollers like that. They post things that appear to be legit until it's too late. The only thing you can try to do is ID crapflooders, but to ban them effectively, they're going to have to fix their captcha system for registration and ban AC posting altogether.

In effect, this will be a fix for a broken feature of slashdot. Think of it as an unsanctioned patch to a major bug in Slash.

Update: does anyone here who knows python want to mangle the pystorm.py script rkz pointed out? I don't do Python and don't particularly care to install Python on my system either (nor do I care to have to SSH over to the FreeBSD box everytime I want to post through a ban on Slashdot). I'm still planning on going forward with the modifications to shitstorm.pl for this since it's not really meant to flood anything.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Responses To the Last JE's Comments 35

...since I'm still banned on this subnet.

piracy (n. pl.): 1: An act of robbery on the high seas: also an act resembling such robbery 2: robbery on the high seas. 3: the unauthorized use of another's productions, invention, or conception esp. in infringement of a copyright.

The dictionary I pulled that from was printed when the closest thing that existed to a World Wide Web was Prodigy. People who illegally download media are pirates.

In addition, it is not "free advertising". Advertising does not create an incentive NOT to buy a product or service. By illegally providing a pay product or service for free to another individual, you are not advertising because you are actively removing the need to purchase the product.

Next point - the argument as to whether or not a person was going to buy a piece of media before they pirated it is irrelevant. If they pirate a copy, the assumption is made the desire was there for that copy, and therefore, it's safest to assume that this would have been a possible sale that will not be made now. If you really weren't going to buy it anyway, you wouldn't have downloaded and kept it. If you argue that the reason you weren't going to buy it anyway was price or quality, then you just dug your hole even deeper because now you're confirming that you DO have a desire for the product, but simply didn't want to pay for it.

Next point - what the MPAA and RIAA threaten to sue people for is also irrelevant. Ironically, slashbots whine all the time about the "exhoribitant" amounts that they use to threaten people. It's ironic because these are CAPS that don't exist for many, many other types of lawsuit. There is, technically, no cap on how much you can sue your neighbor for if they run over your dog with a lawnmower. Amusingly, the slashbots, led by Comrade Michael "Braindead" Sims are complaining about a CAP on the lawsuits. Perhaps they would like copyright suts to be handled like other lawsuits where the person suing can claim however much damage they think they can get away with without hurting their case by looking like a golddigger?

As if that weren't bad enough, the damages they claim are largely meaningless. Based on the case they present, the judge will decide what damages they're actually owed. They could sue for three million dollars if they want, but if the judge only sees $10,000 worth of damages, that's all they're going to get no matter what they do.

Next point - like it or not, the person who owns the media gets to decide what happens to it. If I write a brilliant piece of code tomorrow that could be used to run three trillion perfectly accurate, secure bank transactions a day on a 486sx chip over POTS and I decide I don't ever want to release it to anyone anywhere in the world, there's nothing you can legally do about that. Tough luck. I'm under no obligation to give anybody anything I ever make or think of. You can complain about arts and all sorts of other vague ideals all you like, but if someone wants to be an asshole, they can be an asshole.

Finally... hey. If you're pirating media, and you're ready to take the responsibility for it, fine. Just don't whine if you find yourself on the ugly end of a $300m lawsuit against you. People who bitch and moan after they spend three years online trading 50,000 copies of illegal media are just as bad as those idiots that bitch about cops who "just want to give people a hard time" after they get caught doing 55 in a 15 mph school zone at three in the afternoon.

If you want to break the law, go nuts. Just don't whine like a little bitch when it comes time to pay the piper.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Important Note: Piracy's illegal you stupid Slashbot wankers 17

Oh noes! Teh ev0l MPAA is attacking our freeduyms and censering my thoughts! LOL!!!111

Seriously. Shut. Up.

OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod

Nobody who matters cares.

Nobody who matters should care.

If you pirate movies, music, software, etc... or you facillitate that piracy... you should get sued. Big time. Into the ground.

But, of course, King of the Slashdot Commies, Michael, doesn't see it that way. He has to post non-news stories about this and whip the idiot children who are playing hookey today into a frenzy. First of all, this has nothing to do with BitTorrent except that the places being shut down happen to use BitTorrent links to do their illegal dirty work.

Second of all, piracy is wrong. Any justifications to the contrary are just feeble-minded attempts to not feel like a dirty crook.

Third, nobody cares. Nobody will ever care. The majority of people out there, even when they partake in the occasional download themselves, think the hardcore IP theft engaged in by the people who are being targetted is wrong, and that the people being targetted deserve exactly what they get.

Fourth, this has nothing to do with legitimate p2p use. You are still perfectly free to trade legal ISOs via BitTorrent links. That has not changed. It doesn't appear that it's going to anytime soon. Arguing otherwise is like arguing that flower shops will be made illegal someday because crackhouses get shut down.

If you don't like the music, ignore it. If you don't like the movies, ignore them. If you don't like the licensing restrictions, ignore the software. Seriously. It's not that hard. It's called being an intelligent consumer. This is in contrast to being a bloody, ignorant wanking retard and stealing shit just because you're too much of a fucking cheapass asslicking bastard to pay for it. If people don't want to put up with bullshit in their media, they won't. Just because you are in the minority on the issue, that doesn't give you free run to go about breaking laws. It may suck, but you're just going to have to buck the fuck up and deal with the fact that laws aren't created with you personally in mind. If you don't like that fact, feel free to go start your own little country revolving entirely around you on some little deserted island.

Man. Does Slashdot EVER post anything worthwhile anymore, or have they given up on all pretenses of intelligent discourse altogether?

Before I go though, here's a thought. If the music industry was in such a shitty place back when Napster was still around, why isn't it changed now? Could it be that maybe you gave them an excuse by ripping them off? Maybe instead of being backed into a corner by sagging sales, they were backed into a corner with a trapdoor by sagging sales and piracy. Maybe instead of having to re-evaluate pricing and distribution channels and quality, they got a free out through all the idiots that were ripping off their songs.

Smooth move, assholes. It may well be that the music industry is still as crappy today as it was then because you gave them an excuse in piracy so they didn't have to finally admit that their business model sucks ass. Smart.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Religious Songs Banned In NJ School 8

Maplewood New Jersey has banned religious Christmas carols in its school Christmas plays.

This sort of move always fascinates me, because it always brings out a rather vocal group of protestors who want to see traditional, religious songs left alone on the basis of that tradition. The problem, of course, is that traditionally our public intstitutions such as courts, schools, and public welfare offices have largely ignored the separation of church and state because, until recently, the very vocal majority of Christian citizens kept it that way by supressing other people's complaints or, simply, banding together and leaving other religious groups in niche areas of the country.

This intrigues me further for good reason. Here's a question: if I don't believe the bible is anything more than a book of stories, and the honesty of my testimony is sworn upon it, does that mean I have free run to lie to a courtroom because I don't believe in the book I swore on? If not, why not? If the idea is that I'm obligated to tell the truth regardless, why swear on the bible? If the idea is that I'm attesting to my honesty before the Christian god, how can I be obligated to keep my word if I'm not a Christian? This is the sort of oddity that is created when you allow public institutions to enforce religious beliefs on the public they serve.

Anyway, back to the schools and the hymns. The problem, of course, is that every student in Maplewood is not necessarily Christian. Even if every student were, it would be irrelevant, because not everybody who could potentially attnd that school is Christian. The school has the potential to service every possible religion, so it can either represent ever possible religion equally (or, for the sake of practicality, represent ever religion represented by the student body equally) or it can turn a blind eye to the religious aspect of the season entirely and stick completely to secular celebrations.

This, of course, always upsets the religious folks who are getting smacked back into place. They complain that its traditional, harmless fun. Naturally, this is their point of view and their point of view only, and that's the problem - they don't care about anybody but themselves.

See, we live in a society. Each person in that school is not living in his or her own little bubble, protected from the world outside while the bubble protects that world outside from them. We have to interact with people as a body who don't believe or desire the same things we do as an individual. When we enter the public arena, we become a part of the body, but we often want to remain individual. It doesn't work like that, however. When you enter the public, you need to respect other people and those other people need to respect you. More importantly, when you become a part of the public that holds a position of responsibility, you need to ensure you are treating everyone under your thumb equally. You cannot lavish favors on the people who think the same as you and ignore everyone else.

This is what happens in a public school. These people have a responsibility to equally represent all of their charges. The easiest way to do that is to simply ignore their personal beliefs and desires when doing otherwise would conflict unfairly with other people's. The Christians that are always crying for more religion in schools wouldn't appreciate a prayer being led to Allah anymore than the Muslims in the school appreciate being led in a prayer to Yahweh/god.

What the Chrisitians that complain never stop to consider, however, is that they are not personally affected as in individual in any way. They are still free to believe and worship as they wish (so long as they're not being disruptive - saying a prayer out loud in the middle of class and disrupting the class is a problem just like any other disruptive behavior), the PUBLIC BODY simply cannot be coerced by the authority in that body to believe or worship things.

Like it or not, religious symbols, songs, books, etc. do not belong in public schools when they are being provided or touted by the authorities in charge of those schools. You are free to bring your bible to read during study hall, you are free to wear a crucifix (unless you're French... but they can be idiots sometimes), you are free to say a non-disruptive prayer at your desk. You are not free to make anybody else partake in these things without their explicit consent.

That's the essence of the subject. If you can't function as part of a society, then society just needs to leave you behind.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Angry Mom Sues Wal-Mart for Not Being Psychic 16

Well, she's probably not so stupid as she is emotionally distraught, but emotional distress can make you act stupid, so close enough.

Let me get this straight. She wants to sue Wal-Mart for not doing a bunch of non-obvious things like saying "Why do you want this?" when her disturbed daughter purchased a shotgun from the store that she later used to kill herself?

Look, I'm sorry. I hate Wal-Mart with an overriding passion, and I'm real sorry for your loss (not really... I didn't kill anybody), but I fail to see how this is Wal-Mart's fault. If the girl had gone into the store and said "give me a shotgun so I can kill myself" we'd have a different situation here. However, all signs indicate this was a perfectly legitimate sale, and I don't understand how Wal-Mart can be held responsible.

Moreover, medical records are not and should not be accessible to gun retailers. There's no reason Henry needs to know the date of my last physical and my allergies and everything else he can find on confidential medical records. Releasing that sort of thing to additional people is just begging for trouble as we saw with the fiasco over the Indian outsourcing of medical work (an individual effectively held records hostage, threatening to release them if she didn't recieve, I believe it was, backpay the employer who hired her owed).

Perhaps a compromise could be reached whereby records could be flagged in certain manners and retailers of various sorts could check the flags, similar to the way potential problems are flagged on a driver's license. A doctor could, for example, flag a person as not being safe for owning a gun, or not being safe for flying or for anything else where mental of physical health might be a problem. As an added step, a court order could do the same without a doctor's consent. This would allow courts to flag violent offenders from having guns or other potentially destructive items when, in the court's opinion, there is a reasonable chance this person could commit violent crimes again. Gun retailers would have more effective background checks, and they wouldn't need to know why the person can't safely own a gun. Patients are still protected from abuses because, of course, they have access to their own medical records. If they feel the flagging is unfair, they could challenge it in court.

Regardless, however, Wal-Mart is not to blame here. Much as I wish they were, and much as I love to see them burn money (I'd loooove to see the top dogs at Wal Mart become penniless hobos), this is a crap lawsuit.

Bug

Journal Journal: Again, The Right is Wrong (As Usual) 25

This is the "Texas Miracle" that ChimpanBush used to sell "No Child Left Behind".

Funny. The people who are just "anti-Bush whiners" have been out to nail his balls to the wall for the bullshit he pulled in the TX education system for years. Now, we start to see the "official" proof start to come out.

So, okay. Let me see if I can get this straight in my head. When Monkeyboy was posturing for war in Iraq, and I was screaming for evidence of his wild accusations and baseless claims, I was being unamerican, even though I was right.

When I was complaining that holding people without charges, attorneys, or any rights at all for that matter just because you made up a stupid label for them and slapped it on their forehead was just begging for abuse, I was, again, being unamerican even though, again, I was right.

When I was screeching that the only other time "tricklenomics" was tried (Reagan - the poster boy for broken piggybanks and wasted allowances) it didn't do a damn thing and the person who tried it left his successor (Bush I) with a nasty recession, I was told I was just some communist prick and it's not fair that the people who benefit the most from government infrastructure pay the most back into it after it LETS them succeed. Again, I was right. No, wait. I'm sorry. With this BUSTLING economy we have here and the out-of-control deficit, falling dollar value, and absolutely astounding debt increases over the last four years, we're clearly on our way up the hill.

I'm calling bullshit on the High Gibbon's ridiculous education "plan". Again, I know I'm right, and it seems like that "liberally biased media" is finally picking the fuck up on it 4 years too late. Again, I'm sure it's all just leftist nonsense.

The right is wrong. Very wrong. It is dangerous and it is ignorant and it is stupid. It is more dangerous than Al Quaeda Bin Laden and Ayatollah Hussein all rolled together and topped off with a bit of Kim Jong Pinochet. Even when the literal representation of a slope-headed inbred drooling on his own testicles isn't visually accurate, it's almost always, I've noticed, an accurate intellectual representation of the average person that calls himself conservative (not "is", mind you, because most of the idiots these days that call themselves conservative are really fanatically stupid neoconservatives).

You're the terrorists here. You're anti-inellectual ("educated liberal elitists"), you're anti-freedom ("11 States [Constitutionally] Ban Same-Sex Marriage"), you're anti-American. You're wrong. Dead wrong. Every time. I'm tired of being told I'm wrong and the Right knows what the fuck it's talking about when I'm always right and you're always wrong and you just choose to ignore these things after you can no longer pretend otherwise.

You're wrong. You're killing America. Fuck you. Get the fuck out of my country. Fuck if I'm heading for Canada, why don't you cocksuckers head back to Cuba or maybe go start the USSR back up? I've had it with you and your monkeyfuck poster boy for the ban on lead paint and asbestos.

Get the fuck out of my country if you hate America so much you far right cockgobblers.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Self-Contained CD 1

Remember, Randal Schwartz pointed out in the last JE that there is already a project underway to recreate standard UNIX system tools in perl. The things I built are not standard and don't necessarily behave like they are (in fact - yes doesn't actually do anything close to it's UNIX namesake). They do what I needed and nothing more.

However, if you're interested, I took that handful of tools I was using and plopped them onto a disk-sized distribution so you can run everything from the disk - no Perl installation required. I'm pretty sure that the system will fit on a floppy disk, but I can't guarantee that (if not, and you need it to, go into /lib and delete some of the comment (#) lines in the modules). I also can't guarantee it will work for you just because it did for me.

Instructions:

1. Download and unpack the file.
2. Put the setup.bat file and the /winux, /bin, and /lib directories onto a disk.
3. Insert disk into guinea pig system (don't forget to mount your scratch monkey...).
4. Go into a command prompt and run 'setup' from the root of the disk.
5. You should now be able to run those tools (until you close that command prompt) from anywhere in the directory tree.

Important points:

1. Running alias WILL put new .bat files into the /windows/system32 directory of the target system. Careful if you're trying to avoid that.

2. touch will, of course, create files on the hdd if you tell it to.

3. You can run the perl interpreter if you want, but the only "big time" modules you have are Fcntl, File::*, FileHandle and Carp. You can also 'use warnings' and 'use strict'.

4. If you have troubles that appear to relate to system arch, you probably can't use the Config.pm that's included. Bummer for you.

User Journal

Journal Journal: A Few Unix Tools On Windows... Written In Perl 12

Update: Heh.

Because I am, again, banned from posting at this IP (even though I haven't posted here in over 4 days, and only got one downmod on this IP address in about a week), I am now deluging you with JEs.

This is probably useless to most people thanks to the cygwin environment and actual ports of the GNU utilities, but let me explain...

At work, I am not allowed to download and install applications. I frequently found myself pining for grep, but didn't want to waste my time trying to get somebody to install it for me. So, since I have perl on my system, I built my own customized version. From there, I thought "man, it would be nice if I could run this from anywhere with just 'grep'", so I made "alias". Well, after awhile, I collected the few tools I thought I needed, and now I'm putting them out for anyone who might want their own copy of the set. The tools don't necessarily (actually, they don't USUALLY) function just like the UNIX equivalents because I customized them to my needs and left a lot of stuff I didn't need out, but hey, they're good for study if nothing else.

Note that you will need Perl installed to run these. You can get a Windows Perl installer from http://www.activestate.com/.

Here are the tools in the system:

grep
search for files (sort of like UNIX's find command) or search text for strings matching a pattern.
 
alias
map a new command name to an existing command. For example, 'alias "dir /p /AD" dp' will give you a command named 'dp' that displays only directories and pauses with each screenful of results. Note that you have to surround arguments with spaces with "..".
 
clear
Runs 'cls'
 
rm
Runs 'del'
 
count
Display a line, character, and characters/line count of a file.
 
touch
Create an empty file.
 
ifconfig
Runs 'ipconfig'
 
ls
Runs 'dir'
 
man
Runs 'help'
 
uname
Runs 'ver'
 
yes
Runs ';'. Guaranteed to always return a successful exit status.
 
dump
Outputs a *.bat listing of windows/system32 (unless you have your own .bat files in there, it just tells you what unix-like commands you have on the system).

With the exception of touch, grep, alias, and count, most of this is just a bunch of .bat files that were created with alias (all 'alias' does here is create a .bat file that executes the "real" command, passing along any arguments you supply).

Important Usage Notes


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  • When providing a directory to grep, count, touch or alias, you're expected to use the / separator. You'll have to surround the pathname with double quotes ("..") because / in Windows terms is the character that signifies the start of a command argument. If this bothers you, you can usually use \ instead, but some output may look funny.
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  • Remember, any single argument that has spaces in it - and this is especially common when using alias - must be surrounded by double quotes. This is not strange, you have to do the same thing in UNIX-y systems, you just use single quotes instead.
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  • Whenever something wants a "pattern" as an argument - grep, for example - it expects the pattern to be interpretable by Perl. If you want to force literal interpretation, use '^your_string_here$'. Particularly useful for finding files with grep.
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  • Do not alias alias to alias! Seriously. Go for it. I dare you to try it. Chicken. Braaaak-brak-brak-brak.

Download here and simply unzip the contents into your windows/system32 directory. The system assumes you installed perl at "c:/perl/bin/perl", so, if you didn't, you'll have to go through each file (.bat and .pl) and change the paths to point to the right place or none of it will work right.

Update: I don't know why this keeps defaulting to "Comments Disabled"....

User Journal

Journal Journal: I Should Not Read the Morning News 34

You know... every day... every day it's something new. I'm in a country run by idiots... for idiots.... of idiots.... I hate this place. I'm surrounded by morons. This isn't America. It's like the rest of the world's dumping ground for the mentally retarded. What did you motherfuckers do with my country? This shit isn't funny anymore you stumphumping pigfuckers!

... Sen. John Cornyn of Texas said Rumsfeld's dismissal would be "a gift to the jihadists and the insurgents" in Iraq.

Oh, really? Is this all it takes to make your case anymore these days?

"If you don't vote for Bush, you're against the troops"

FUCK YOU!

"If you don't support the war, you hate America"

FUCK YOU!

"If you don't support the president's policies, you support the terrorists"

FUCK YOU!

That's my argument from now on. You can take the flag, staple it with a picture of King Chimp to your nutsack, grease up a flagpole, sit on it and flap in the breeze you slackjawed, slope-headed, inbred mental midgets. I've fucking had it.

Here's another thing: HAPPY HOLIDAYS YOU COCKSUCKING GODFUCKERS! Nobody cares about your "let's all say Merry Christmas" bullshit. Guess what you stupid knob? There are three major holidays (if you count Kwanzaa as a major holiday, anyway..) all bundled together in the same time period. If Macy's wants to honor all three of them at once, that's your fucking problem you whiny saclicker. YOU say Merry Christmas, and if some uppity, crook-nosed yuppie in a Gucci sweater gives you shit about being offended by the word "Christmas", give them five points of Christmas joy in the form of a knuckle sandwhich to the jaw for being such a limp-wristed, Brie-eating prick. Kick their yippy little overgrown rat-on-a-leash into the nearest newsstand for good measure. But shut the fuck up about people NOT saying Merry Christmas! If YOU can choose to say Merry Christmas, -I- can choose to say "Happy Holidays". GET OVER YOURSELF!

Happy, motherfucking, chanakwanzaamas.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Congratulations to Mr. Bush.... 5

... on the "Person of the Year" mention from Time. You now stand firmly rooted in a part of American history right beside Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler, because you sure as hell can't stand up as tall as "The American Soldier" and you deserve to try about as much as Ken Lay does.

You must be so proud, you gibbering chimp.

Quake

Journal Journal: We Must Kill Jesus! 9

So, I watched Dawn of the Dead (2004) on Friday night. Bought the "Unrated, Too Scary For Theatres" version used at Blockbuster for about $8, which ain't too shabby.

First, a tangent. I'm not entirely sure what's so scary about this remake, as it plays out more like a video game from the survival genre (e.g. "Resident Evil", "Dino Crisis", etc.) than a horror movie. Gory? Check. Action-packed? Check. Cliche? Check. Scary? Ummm... no. Not even remotely.

Not to say it's not entertaining, but if this is too scary for the typical movie audience, those asswipes might as well not even watch horror movies. Honest to god, ever since Craven fucked everything up with those awful, awful excuses for slasher flicks - the Scream movies - it's been all downhill. Where are the good old school horror movies like the original Dawn of the Dead or Hellraiser or the first Halloween flick? I'm tired of this slicked-back and polished up bullshit they're churning out now. Here's how to make a modern hollywood horror movie:

1 Token Black Hero
+ 1 Token Black Mincemeat
+ 1 big-chested-but-tough bimbo
+ 1 whiny bitch mincemeat bimbo
+ 1 resourceful white guy (because the black guys are only good with the guns and the violence).

Mix well, kill other annoying supporting characters at random and include lots of funky CGI shots of heads exploding (please... popping heads in sci fi have been mainstream since "Scanners" and they've been a mainstream horror staple since "Demon Knight". On top of that, "Bad Taste" made exploding heads ten times more entertaining with 1/10 of the budget).

Voila, big label horror flick for the summer. Booooring.

Anyway, back to killing Jesus...

So, I was watching Dawn of the Dead when it occurred to me that Jesus and zombies are a lot alike. They both died and then came back and killed people with super strength, and the only way to stop them is to shoot them in the head.

Then it dawned on me! Like Count Dracula and vampires, Jesus is the head zombie! He's the original zombie, and he creates his zombie minions to do his bidding. Note how when the super-zombie died and came back, it was a near-perfect transformation, but his spawn (reference Lazarus) are just imperfect clones that share a fraction of the origina's power.

So, next time you have a problem with a bad infestation of the flesh-eating undead, just remember that you can put an end to it all by killing the head zombie, just like you can stop vampires by killing the one that created them.

Yea, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

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