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Comment: How 1984 got it wrong (Score 4, Funny) 282

"Check this out, comrade, it's like I have my own exercise instructor!", announced Winston to his comrade Syme, as he turned a switch and the voice sank somewhat, though the words were still distinguishable. The instrument (the telescreen, it was called) could be dimmed, but there was no way of shutting it off completely. "You can dim it, so It saves electricity when you're asleep!"

The instructress had called them to attention again. "And now let's see which of us can touch our toes!' she said enthusiastically. 'Right over from the hips, please, comrades. ONE-two! ONE-two!..."

"Oh I hate this one, he whispered to Syme. "It sends shooting pains all the way from my heels to my buttocks and often ends by bringing on another coughing fit."

"But have you installed the Newspeak translator app?", asked Syme. "It's so cool, you just speak English to it and it translates what you say into proper Newspeak!"

"Oh, that sounds awesome!" said Winston. "Can I download it from the Ministry of Plenty's app store?"

"Ha ha, no!" replied Syme. "It comes preinstalled as part of the operating system! You couldn't uninstall it even if you wanted to."

"Wow!" exclaimed Winston. You mean I have it already, then? So I don't need to waste time looking for it."

"You work at the Ministry of Truth, Winston!" laughed Syme. "I would expect you to know these things already." He paused for a moment, then asked, "Did you see the prisoners hanged yesterday?"

"I was working," said Winston indifferently. "I shall download it and watch it later, I suppose."

"A very inadequate substitute," said Syme. His mocking eyes roved over Winston's face. "I know you," the eyes seemed to say, "I see through you. I know very well why you didn't watch the live stream of those prisoners hanged."

"Smith!" screamed the shrewish voice from the telescreen. "6079 Smith W.! Yes, YOU! Bend lower, please! You can do better than that. You're not trying. Lower, please! THAT'S better, comrade. Now stand at ease, the whole squad, and watch me."

A sudden hot sweat had broken out all over Winston's body. His face remained completely inscrutable. Never show dismay! Never show resentment! A single flicker of the eyes could give you away. He stood watching while the instructress raised her arms above her head and--one could not say gracefully, but with remarkable neatness and efficiency--bent over and tucked the first joint of her fingers under her toes.

"THERE, comrades! THAT'S how I want to see you doing it. Watch me again. I'm thirty-nine and I've had four children. Now look." She bent over again. "You see MY knees aren't bent. You can all do it if you want to,' she added as she straightened herself up. "Anyone under forty-five is perfectly capable of touching his toes. We don't all have the privilege of fighting in the front line, but at least we can all keep fit. Remember our boys on the Malabar front! And the sailors in the Floating Fortresses! Just think what THEY have to put up with. Now try again. That's better, comrade, that's MUCH better," she added encouragingly as Winston, with a violent lunge, succeeded in touching his toes with knees unbent, for the first time in several years.

"I'm impressed, Winston," said Syme. "If you'd told me you could touch your toes before you got this thing, I would have said that's such bullocks." He then silently nodded at the screen. "You think she really has four kids? She looks kind of hot for 39."

"I heard that!" screamed the instructress. "I'm flagging your numbers and adding you both to the Ministry of Love's follow list!"

Comment: Re:i'th Post (Score 4, Insightful) 366

Yes, when people make political issues of science issues, that science often becomes political. I know- shocking isn't it.

Incorrect, not shocking. Evolution doesn't become any more or less true if it becomes a political issue in churches. The laws of physics don't change if you're a wealthy industry that can afford to fight back politically against physicists. Your posts in this entire thread (fuck, on this entire site, for years) have been perfused with the idea that scientific phenomena can change if you politically attack them. You can maybe change what scientists examine and the course of scientific discovery, but that's not the same thing. And if you're going to suggest that's what happening here, because we haven't looked hard enough at the sun or something, you're wrong. Industry in this case has spent a lot of money funding scientific research into non-anthropomorphic causes of climate change, and have only managed to produce bullshit.

Comment: Faith-based approach to law making (Score 5, Informative) 517

by MillionthMonkey (#49185633) Attached to: White House Threatens Veto Over EPA "Secret Science" Bills

If you want a faith based approach to law making, just be forthright about it.

One of the sponsors of the Secret Science Reform Act was Rep. Paul Broun from Georgia. Here's what he's had to say on that topic:

God's word is true. I've come to understand that. All that stuff I was taught about evolution, embryology, Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell. It's lies to try to keep me and all the folks who are taught that from understanding that they need a Savior. There's a lot of scientific data that I found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I believe that the Earth is about 9,000 years old. I believe that it was created in six days as we know them. That's what the Bible says. And what I've come to learn is that it's the manufacturer's handbook, is what I call it. It teaches us how to run our lives individually. How to run our families, how to run our churches. But it teaches us how to run all our public policy and everything in society. And that's the reason, as your congressman, I hold the Holy Bible as being the major directions to me of how I vote in Washington, D.C., and I'll continue to do that.

He does want a "faith based approach to law making", but at least he's been "forthright about it".

Comment: Re:"Clean power foes"? (Score 1) 267

He's very "anti-clean-energy".

"With the coldest winter ever recorded, with snow setting record levels up and down the coast, the Nobel committee should take the Nobel Prize back from Al Gore," the tycoon told members of his Trump National Golf Club in Westchester in a recent speech. "Gore wants us to clean up our factories and plants in order to protect us from global warming, when China and other countries couldn't care less. It would make us totally noncompetitive in the manufacturing world, and China, Japan and India are laughing at America's stupidity." The crowd of 500 stood up and cheered.

Comment: Re:"Clean power foes"? (Score 3, Informative) 267

Dunald Trump has been trying to prevent Scotland from building an offshore wind farm because he says they would ruin the view from a golf course he's building on a protected area of sand dunes. Trump also thinks that wind farms cause something called Wind Turbine Syndrome.

Comment: Re:Bring on the lausuits (Score 1) 599

by MillionthMonkey (#49144797) Attached to: Republicans Back Down, FCC To Enforce Net Neutrality Rules
The IRS targeted political groups that brought in the most money. That meant that most of them were PACs with large corporate contributions, which primarily donate to Republican candidates. So naturally the Republicans made it into a fake scandal. Ironically the guy at the IRS who was at the center of the "scandal" was himself a Republican.

Comment: Re:Bring on the lausuits (Score 1) 599

by MillionthMonkey (#49130429) Attached to: Republicans Back Down, FCC To Enforce Net Neutrality Rules

ObamaCare has highlighted the "Rule of Unintended Consequences". Who knows what consequences are in this decision. The only time the "people" win is when the Federal Government does not regulate. Regulation is strangulation and, ultimately, death.

How much can I make if I post shit like this? Will they pay me less if my bullshit posts get modded down? And do they make you post "make money on your computer with Google" crap?

Comment: Re:Bill Nye, the Dogma Guy! (Score 1) 681

by MillionthMonkey (#49114321) Attached to: Bill Nye Disses "Regular" Software Writers' Science Knowledge
In the first link he says to get vaccinated; and he's only wrong if you look at it from a libertarian political perspective. In the second he says that TV weathermen should once in a while mention that a heavy storm is "consistent" with climate change (not "caused by"). That's a typical denier tactic is to imply that since we don't know which individual storms were worsened by climate change, then we can safely say that none of them were. That's exactly what Marsha Blackburn said in that video.

The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.