Well, today I turn 27. And tomorrow is my last day at work, and the day after that I'm moving to a diferent state. Lots happening, and changing and stuff. I'm sure year #27 wil be a memorable one.

Ok, so I got the official offer, and it's more than a bit less than what I wanted. But it will go up to what I sort of wanted in a year's time because they're in contract renegoation after being on a salary freeze for the last 2 years (and cause they're loosing all their good engineers to private because they don't pay as well). Maybe that's why it took so long to get hired on over there, because of the budget issues they were having.

anyway. big decisions. like when to move. how to budget things as a one income household, as my boyfriend doesn't have a job offer yet. what is going to be my last day.

eek, I angst. what are these butterflies doing in my stomach.

Ah, drunken Turkey Day Posts, they so rule.

Well, right now I'm in the middle of making the turkey dinner. I went grocery shopping last night and got everything and I have the making of a dinner of rthe 7-8 people who will be here. I have had the turkey marinating since Tuesday night in a flavored brine and then made a spice rub for the turkey, and my boyfriend used one of those cool injectors to put the tastiness right into the meat. Our turkey looked like a cheap drugged up whore when he was done shooting up the bird. THen it was my turn to get under the birds skin, smothering the rub under and over it's skin before placing the dead foul into a pan filled with celery, sweet onion and carrots. Then I stuffed the holow cavity with rosemary, savory and thyme. Proceeded to roast the turkey fo ran hour before covering it and putting a bottle of hard cider in the bottom of the pan to keep it moist. We'll see how it turns out.

Now I've got the potatoes cut and in a pot of warm water, ready to boil when the time comes. And I"m looking for a good asparagus recipe, some something along the lines of asparagus in an herbed white wine sauce. Then comes the sauteed button mushrooms, then the yams, then well, whatever is next.

I think I'll start making teh cheese platter for people to knosh on when they get home. As right now everyone but me and my little sister are out for the morning walk and checking out my dad's new place of employ at the wonderment that is HRL. He's such an uber geek and is so in 7th heaven with the new job.

Well off to search for recipes and cook and watch movies and drink some more.

3 wishes for the day

#1-That I finally get a call with the formal offer of the job in Austin

#2-That I finally get a full night's sleep

#3-That I can focus this morning and get all my projects done at work

We'll see how things go...

Well, I'm back from yet another hospital stint. And the hospital is still 2/2 in the suckiness category.

It all started last Thursday with an Upper GI follow through at radiology. Only 40 minutes after my first sip of barium my intestines started protesting so much that I couldn't walk, just sit hunched over my backpack in the hallway lined with chairs that they call a waiting area. So the procedure that's supposed to take 2 hours ends up taking 5.

I end up going home. I went to work Friday. But it's still painful. the weekend comes and I get a fever to go with it. Sunday things are sucking a lot, so I call the nurse hotline and she suggests that I visit my local ER. So after 2 hours of mulling over the decision, because I HATE the ER, I researched bowel perforation (what the nurse said might be the problem). So searching bowel perforation + barium + crohn's = toxic megacolon, which if untreated is quickly fatal. So I suck it up and go to the ER.

Sunday night at the ER is pretty busy. But in an hour the finally get me in to a room. Oddly enough the same room that my boyfriend had when he had food poisoning a year ago. With all the tests and whatnot it got to be around 3am and it looked like I would be admitted, but they hadn't told me 100% if I was yet. SO I sent my boyfriend home as he was sooo sleepy and had work the next day. And it wasn't long until I did get admitted, just an hour later I was upstairs in what I would find out later was the place where a woman died. Super.

Well, it wasn't toxic megacolon, but my abscess acting up. So I got some IV antibiotics and a gurney to chill on for the next few days. The abscess was now 6cm x 4cm. So on Tuesday afternoon I got wheeled down to Interventional Radiology and got the thing drained. Also, et again found out that I'm resistant to pain killers, because it took 3x the dose and I still felt pain, and the doctor asked if I use narcotics.

Wednesday I was keeping down solid foods and they let me go home that night. So luckily it was only a 3 day stint rather than last times week long venture. But the draining should buy me another 3-4 months so that I can get to Austin and the Gastroenterology clinic and have them perform the surgical resection of my intestines so that this year long flare can go away. Because I don't trust the doctors here at Kaiser to perform something as serious as taking out a piece of my intestines and putting it back together. And Kaiser only has ONE surgeon in the whole of Los Angeles that does the GI surgeries. Fuck that, I'll keep my intestines to myself thank you and wait for a better doctor.

Ok, 4 glasses of wine...but really I've been thinking abotu this for a while. I even have a journal half written, ok fully written, that I wanted to post regarding what I think marridge is (and will post most likely tomorrow).

But, really, how do you talk about marridge with the man you love and want to spend yor future with? There's part of me that doesnt't want to outright tell him I want to marry him because I want him to ask the question, romance ensues, whatever...and I don't know...how to broach the talk without insinuating too much.

But things are going really well, even with all that I bitch about on this blog there is so much good that overcomes it. I vent, yes, but my boyfriend has made so much progress...beign willing to go to councelling, opening up and growing stronger. I don't write about it much here, because that sweet look he gives me is precious and I liek to keep that to myself, but I vent the negative so it doesn't fester in our relationship.

But. I can really see a future with him. I want to grow old by his side and make so many good memories together.

But how to talk about it when he's overcautious and guarded, not wanting to end up in divorce or making a mistake. I don't want divorce wether, having experienced the painful breakup of my own parents. BUt I think that we have the love to sustain a marridge along with building the comunication skills to sustain a long term relationship.

Anywhoo. I've been wanting to write about this for a while.

Ok, so my boyfriend has come up with an idea that I just de-friend his best friend in the journal so that I don't have to have him make insensitive comments and that I'm not always reading the stuff he puts up there. And he has posed the question of what I get out of reading G's blog?

Let's see, what do I get out of understanding more about the bestfriend that my BF talks to/IM's/e-mails daily? of understanding someone who my BF wanted to help so much that he had him move in with us? of understanding what my BF talks about when he rants on how G shouldn't marry the girl he met in Nicaragua just so she can get her green card so he can date her?

My BF is emotionally invested in G's life, I'm emotionally invested in my BF, so of course I want to know about someone who is important to him.

To much fucking Blog Drama!!! Because then what happens when both G and I comment in my boyfriend's blog which is where the first online altercation happened, when my boyfriend wrote about how I was putting together a computer for him, and how we finally got it to work after a week or two. Then I replied on how frustrating it was that just a simple pin setting could have caused such problems. Segue to G who replied to me, "Duh, you always have to check the pin settings". Of course I followed that with letting him know that he really knows how to make a girl feel special. Blah blah blah, my boyfriend ended up deleting that entry.

So I don't' see any seamless way to cut G out of my life because he's in it because I choose to have my boyfriend in mine.

Ok, I'm kinda upset about something and need to vent to get it off my chest. Well last night my boyfriend and I had a discussion regarding his friends, namely his best friend G, the one who lived with us for a few months earlier this year.

My boyfriend's concern being that right now I don't have the highest opinion of G and don't really like him. And how I shouldn't be offended by insensitive things that he says because he doesn't know what he's doing because he's got aspergers and just doesn't get the emotional stuff. And the metaphor that my boyfriend uses is how I wouldn't kick a puppy if it peed on the floor, why do I get upset at G when he's insensitive?

Hmmm. Well, I get upset because he's not a puppy, he's a guy who's turning 30 not too soon and still can't discern when he's being rude. I really think that the whole aspergers thing shouldn't be an excuse for his being rude. For example, my last journal, everyone here on /. was kind and supportive and used humor to lighten my spirits. Whereas G responded telling me that I should of expected that response and he doesn't see why I'm getting all pissy about it, then cut and pasted info from the site I linked to that supported his position. (Ok so you don't see his response here because it's on the a different journal site that's a mirror of this one, where him and my boyfriend post.) but I would think that if all the tech-minded people on /. has the capacity to be empathetic to my frustration, why not G?

And his insensitivity has happened previously. From before he moved in with us his main concern was that my boyfriend and I would be too kisseyfaced around him. When I asked my boyfriend if G has asked at all if his moving in with us would affect our relationship, he said no. So we ended up living with G for 3-4 months which did put a strain on our relationship, and didn't really give me any reason to like G. In all that time G hardly made any attempt to get to know me, even though I made numerous tries at small talk with him.

I just wish my boyfriend would stop making excuses for him. My BF even agreed with me that G was being a dick responding like that, and even went so far as to e-mail G and tell him that he was being insensitive. Even then e-mailing back and forth G didn't understand. Even when I replied back to G that I found his response insulting, his just said "Geez, chill out." Nothing so far as saying that he didn't intend it insult me, and his flippant reply just makes me more upset with him.

So my BF doesn't understand why I'm hesitant to be around G in the future. My BF's sisters adore G like he's a second brother, as he was around the house as they grew up. So he doesn't' understand why I don't like him. I tried to explain that with me, the good versus bad experiences around G weighs in the negative. That maybe in the future the scales will turn, but that I'm hesitant

anyways I'm at a loss of what to do, as I don't want to let people trample on my personal boundaries, and yes I have a limit to the rudeness that I will tolerate from others. but my boyfriend takes my dislike of his best friend as a personal insult. That he says he defines himself by his friends, that he typifies himself as the "nice guy" and won't tell off others and that even though his friends can be crappy and insensitive at times that they have their good sides too.

I just don't get it when my BF tells me that I don't have to like his friends, but then get's upset when I don't. Then he describes his bestfriend's actions as a puppy. If I were G I'd be upset that my bestrfiend thinks I have the emotional capacity of a dog.
Well, I could rant for a while on this as I'm really frustrated as what to do. so I'll just stop writing for now.

Dear Sister (my supercool last name),

I have been asked to acknowledge your recent letter in which you request that your name be removed from the membership records of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I have also been asked to inform you that the Church considers such a request to be an ecclesiastical matter that must be handled by local priesthood leaders before being processed by Church employees. Therefore, your letter and a copy of this reply are being sent to ( list name of local leaders, yes plural) They will contact you concerning the fufilment of your request.

In view of the eternal concequences of such an action, the Bretheren urge you to reconsider your request and to prayerfully consider the enclosed statement of the First Presidency.

Sincerly,
(blah blah)
Supervisor, Member and Statistical Records

(The pamphlet they enclosed, quoted verbatim, because I just couldn't make this stuff up.)

Come back. Stand with us. Feast at the table laid before you in The Church of Jesus Crist of Latter-day Saints and strive to follow the Good Shepherd.

An Invitation to Come Back

We reach out to members of the Church throughout the world in a spirit of love and brotherhood inspired by the Lord Jesus Christ.

Our interest and concern are always with the individual man or woman, boy or girl. Our great responsibility is to see that each is remembered and nourished by the good word of God" Moroni 6:4. If anay have been offended, we are sorry. Our only desire is to cultivate a spirit of mercy and kindness, of understanding and healing. We seek o follow the example of our Lord who "went about doing good" Acts 10:8

To you who for any reason find yourselves outside the embrace of the Church, we say come back. We invite you to return and partake of the happiness you once knew. You will find many with outstretched arms to welcome you, assist you, and give you comfort.

The Church needs your strength, love, loyalty, and devotion. The course is fixed and certain by which a person may return to the full blessings of Church membership, and we stand ready to recieve all who wish to do so.

Sincerely Yours,
The First Presidency

....................................

Mother Fuckers!! Respect my fucking decision. I don't want to have to take legal action. But I fucking will if I have to to get all this crap behind me for good.

Damn, I always do this...that is wonder if I really need to use my sick time when I'm feeling sick. It happened a week ago when my intestines were being twitchier than usual, but it took me half the day to figure it out before I decided to leave. It's a good thing I drove in that day too, because taking the bus for an hour lags when you're feeling below par.

I guess that I always feel guilty using my sick time, thinking that I can always withstand more pain. What kind of twisted thinking is that? Let's torture myself to the point that I'm about to collapse, then take a time out. Nothing like being at work and feeling miserable when I could be feeling miserable in the comfort of my own bed. And I was considering it this morning too, as I woke up lethargic and with a scratchy throat. Considering calling in sick. But nooooo, I had to just trudge along to work and spend all day with my coat and scarf on because I have the chills, sucking down Ricola like there's no tomorrow.

And to top it off another guy in my group called in this morning sick and it sounded like he had the same thing that I did. Lucky me for catching his cold. But it's kind of to be expected, seeing that my meds have a warning to stay away from people that are contagious and wash my hands constantly and avoid contact sports. It's super nice seeing as how my guts ache and I have a cold.

And it's not like they'll miss me if I don't come in to work tomorrow, as right now it's excruciatingly slow at the office with slim to nill to work on. Ah well, I'll just go home early and take tomorrow off.

Christmas cards hold nothing to this.

Halloween cards are the shit! I'm definitly expand on it next year.

Because it goes with everything.

Including Cherry-Limeade.

Especially Cherry-Limeade!

Awesome, I just got off the phone with the City of Austin, and they said that I was the best one they interviewed and that they need a bit more info from me before they put together a formal offer. And this wasn't even the job that I interviewed for yesterday, that I totally rocked. They even asked me to fax things at the end of that interview. So I'll fax the same info to two positions on Monday and maybe Job #2 will give me an offer too.

Wahooo!!!!!!

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Alyssa Milano

2. Where was your first kiss? B.B. King's Blues Club

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? Nope

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? In anger, no. But yes if you count karate practice and teasing boys as an adolescent.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes. I as a kid I had a solo in church, and in choir during elementary school I was one of the leads in a anti-drug musical they did.

6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex? The eyes.

7. What really turns you on? Hmmm...I'll leave that one between me and my boyfriend.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Soy latte with flavored syrup, be it hazelnutt, irish cream or almond.

9. What is your biggest mistake? Not being true to myself.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I'm a monkey.

12. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity? Nope.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Yes, Invader Zim or Spongebob

14. Did you have braces? Yes. I got a loan from my grandma to get myself braces while in college. Even though I needed them my parents could never stop arguing enough to get me them. (Ps. divorces suck)

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes. Though when I was a toddler the doctors thought I was going to break 6', but I think it didn't happen becasue my growth was stunted when I got sick with pnenumonia during a growth spurt.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Made me a picnic brunch in the living room.

17. When do you know it's love? It's a gradual realization that you come to that just continues to get stronger day by day, and just gets better and better.

18. Do you speak any other languages? Si, high school spanish.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? No. No plans to either.

20. What magazines do you read? Oprah, becasue she kicks ass.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Nope.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Not really close, but I went to the funural for a gut at the office because he was kind to me.

23. Do you watch mtv? No, they don't play videos anymore and my IQ lowers just as I try to comprehend the vapid fare they put on now.

24. What's something that really annoys you? People who don't give you space on the sidewalk. I swear those people who walk side by side taking up the whole sidewalk piss me off. Walking to the bus stop is like a live action game of frogger.

25. What's something you really like? Sparkly gel pens.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? He creeps me out. Is he still classified as human, or has he moved on to meat puppet.

27. Can you dance? I like to think so :)

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up? 28 hours finishing a project report in college.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Nope, no ambulatory services yet and hopefully never.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Only if the few couple of responses pique my interest, otherwise I skim like there's no tomorrow.

32. What are your car/truck radio buttons set to? 106.7 KROQ, 102.3 KIIS, 93.1 JackFM, 95.5 KLOS, 104.3 KBIG

33. When you're completely burned out, what's a good way to recharge (other than sleep)? A good bottle of white wine and watching some TiVo with my favorite texan.

34. What's your favorite place that you've travelled to? Southern France.

35. What do you want to try that you haven't yet? Kayaking, powered parachuting, kite boarding, and snow boarding.

36. Five things you love to eat, and five things you hate to eat? I love: sushi, cajun, dim-sum, any little tiny finger foods you eat with specialty utinsils, and burritos. Things I hate: jicama, squash, tomato soup, black licorice candy, and cream cheese.

37. Did you learn to drive stick or automatic first? If you count official driving lessons, I learned to work the clutch on a motorcycle first. But my parents let me drive the automatic drive car a time or two before then.

38. Do you like board games? Yes, crainium is the bestest, followed by Monopoly and then some weird career game I played as a kid while camping in a teepee.

39. Tell me your opinion about gambling. Slots kill brain cells. Poker is fun with friends. And visiting Los Vegas leaves me longing to be somewhere else entirely.

40. How many dictionaries do you own? I have 2; English/Latin, and English/Gaelic.

41. What's your favorite medium to work in? In order of preferance: Oil paint, acrylic paint, stained glass, oil pastels, charcoal, clay, ink, sparkely gel pen, crayon.

42. What was your undergraduate major, and was it always that or did you switch? I started out as a bio-chemistry major. Mainly because I put it on my SAT's becasue I liked science and figured any school with that major would be good. Then I considered for a while double majoring in Industrial Art/ Graphic Art, but unfortunatly dumped that idea becasue you needed a portfolio to get admitted to that major and I didn't have one at the time. Then I was thinking about Architecture, but they didn't have that major, so I opted for Civil Engineering in lieu of that.

43. Worst physical pain you've been in? It's a toss up between right before I had my gall bladder removed and Crohn's cramping.

44. Who's your best friend? That's a hard one, I'd have to make it a tie between my boyfriend and another friend.

45. Was high school good? Why (not)? Yes and no. Marching band was fun, drumline was cool too. Though H.S. wasn't as bad as Jr.High, I'm still glad I only have to go through that once.

46. What kinds of music do you like best? Get specific, if you can. If I was on a desert isle and could only listen to one genre it would have to be jazz.

47. Last three CDs you bought: Cheryl Crow-Wildflowers (actually a gift from my boyfriend), Joss Stone-Mind, Body & Soul and Gwen Stephani-Love, Angel Music, Baby

48. And conversely, what kinds of music would you rather never hear? 50 cent. In my opinion he's the Forest Gump of the music world, he's so stupid I can't imagine why people like him. THe funniest thing I've seen lately was that a vitamin water had him in their ad reading the Wall Street Journal.

49. Five favorite movies: Gross Pointe Blank, Ever After, Invader Zim: The Motion Picture, Spongebob Squarepants: The Golden Years, Witchblade: the return of Yancey Butler

50. What's something other people like that you just can't get into? Maddox...I just don't understand how some dork from Utah can have such a following of male adolescent wannabees.

51. When you want to look good, what do you wear? Sparkles and stardust.

52. When your heart breaks, how do you put it back together? With a generous application of time.

53. Should the following be exterminated: white briefs: Do yo umean tighty whities, then yes. blue eyeshadow: Yes, it must die! It should have stayed in teh 70's where it came from. pants that create the muffin-top look on women: Just get pants that fit already. flip flops in the office: If I could, I would.

54. Were you a Boy/Girl Scout? I was a Girl Scout up until I found out that the leaders daughter was trying to get every badge ther ever was or wil be. That's way too much not-fun in my book. That and how much Girl Scouts sucked. Boy Scouts got to go climb stuff and tie cool knots and shoot arrows and stuff. In Girl Scouts I learned how to make an egg glaze to go on bear shaped bread to make it look shiney and how to make lanyards and paste birdseed on pinecones with peanutbutter and sell cookies at my parents work. In other words, I had a better "scouting" experience just going camping with my dad than I ever did with that organization.

55. Can you swim? Like a fish. Backwards.

56. Tell me your guilty pleasures: song: anything by No Doubt book: books by Laurell Hamilton movie: The Wedding Planner with JLo food: Sushi other: art supplies

57. Do you have a library card? Yes, it's cheaper to rent movies there than blockbuster.

58. What's the best present you've received in the past five years? A Hug.

59. Do you have a favorite: Painter: No more than a favorite star in the sky..ok maybe Monet. Sculptor: Rodan Photographer: I'd go wtih my sister Tiana Writer (fiction): Laurell Hamilton Writer (science fiction/fantasy): Right now I'm reading Terry Brooks Poet: Emily Dickenson Writer (nonfiction): I don't know, does Oprah count, cause I'm sure she'd kick ass in any catagory.

60. You're in a strange city for the weekend. What will you do while you're there? Drive to the center of town and see what there is to see, then go take a nap.

61. Are you thrifty? Depends what you mean by thrifty. Am I cheap? no. Do I run up my credit card on shopping spree's? no. Quality is normally what I look for first, followed by monetary value. If I need a watch I'd much rather buy the more expensive one that I like and that will last rather than something chintzy, cheap and not quite my style.

62. You bought tickets for a cultural event. What are you going to see? A live concert featuring Sheryl Crow, No Doubt, Seal and Sting.

63. What's something you're hanging onto that you don't need anymore? the reciepts in my wallet. This question reminds me to shred them when I get home.

Yes I finally put the letter together, printed it, signed it, FedExed it and am officially out.

I've considered myself non-mormon for the last 3 years, but my family has always thought inactive. Even my mom pleaded with me previously to just let her keep my records based out of her home ward so that people wouldn't come looking for me. Yes, they do come looking for you. If they don't know where you are they look up in their records and call your family to find your current address, then often send people out to your house to "check up" on you. Seemingly friendly, sure, but annoying when your personal choices aren't respected.

Ok, so what was the straw that made me write the letter? I've been meaning so for a while. Well, part was another in a long line of religious propaganda that my mom forwarded to me. Another was last weekend when I head the story of how my Grandma not-so-subtly suggested that my sister could be the relief society president in the future just like our two cousins are, even though she's not into the church things right now. OK, this scares me because one, my sister has multiple piercings and tattoo's and two the only reason why she was visiting my grandma and family out in Utah last weekend was because she drank too much whisky while bored one day at college and ended up somehow with a plane ticket. Who knows what they still think of me, being that I'm the one who went to BYU and all.

So I'm done. I don't want any misunderstanding by anyone, especially my family.