I'm not married, but I may as well be. I live with my girlfriend whom I've dated for 9 years. I don't have any input on love aside from the following:

Most of the people I know that are getting married are the people who think you have to be married to have sex. Little do people know you can actually have sex without being married. It's easy. Silly bastards. Sex without marriage is like downloading a MP3 without paying for it. It makes you feel good. Pirating sex rocks. Yaaaaarrrrr!!!

I had a cherry filled donut at about 4pm today, while I was at work. At around 4:30 I was tossing Dr. Oink in the air to pass the time and I missed and dropped him on the ground. When I picked him up he was magically covered in red shit. It looked like he was bleeding, and much to my delight his blood tasted fucking awesome! You see, by this point I had forgotten all about the donut. I obviously figured it out pretty quick, but was a little stumped on how the donut's guts had found it's way t

This one time Clint and I put a dollar in the mailbox and then hid behind a bush until the mailman came, with hopes that he would take the dollar and we'd be able to jump out of the bush and chase him down the street yelling "SO YOU'VE BEEN THE ONE STEALING OUR DOLLARS!!". He didn't take the dollar. Asshole.

The problem with the human race is it's getting dumber. The gene pool is getting stupidider by the day. Why's that you ask? Cause 90% of the people having fucking kids shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Most kids around here (Fredericksburg, Va..yes it's as stupid as it sounds) are mistakes. They are usually the product a scummy white or black dude whom drives a "pimped out" Honda accord knocking up a fucking 16 year old white chick with bleached blond hair, big thighs, an addiction to

Me: Mr President, whats it like to know you are the most powerful man in the world...you know...besides Batman.

Mr President: I'm pretty sure in a brawl I could kick the crap out of Batman.

Me: I'm not sure I agree with you there. I mean, Batman has that batass utility belt. What if he is packing anti-douche spray?! You'd be fucked...seriously!

Mr President: Are you calling me a douche?!

The new Dave Brockie Experiance CD came out yesterday, and after four (4!!) fucking trips to Best Buy the dumbassholes finally found it for me buried underneath a pile of dingo corpses. Here's a track that I'm currently hard for.

Dave Brockie Experiance-I Wanna Be A Squirrel

Oh yes I wanna be a squirrel

...Some people are cunts. Don't be a cunt.

The following people have made a day good for me in recent time. These people are not cunts:

Miss Leah
Chip
Clint
AC
Mary McD
Will
Underwood
Art
Dave
Kevin
Matt
Geoff
Jason T.
Justin
Mulletfucker Mike

I decided today that I don't give a fuck about anyone I encounter all day - unless they somehow can effect the amount of sex I have. Stupid twat cum-guzzling customers can shout all day at me, and I'll shrug it off until it somehow impedes on the quantity of sex I get for the evening. If somehow they negativity impact my pussy plundering they shall feel a wrath or rage that would make Stalin proud. But on the other hand (the one not covered in gooo) if they can find a way to positively effect my

We got two rough mixes of songs up on the net. ROUGH i say! Some vocals will be redone, some mixing will be done, and some pigsticking will be done. In other news, Will and I wrote and recorded parts of a new song today. Rock and cock. Downloadage:

http://fredrock.org/newmusic.html

By the way....we still haven't come up with a band name yet. Its in the mail.

Yea it's offical, The Jeff Mullins Band has reunited for another album (although we won't be called "The Jeff Mullins Band" anymore due to Jeff's current assumed hatred of me I'm worried I'd wake up with him crouching above my bed drooling blood with a knife in his teeth ready to slit my throat)...

I have a new house.
I have new neighbors.
I like pirate flags.
The neighbors don't.
I like to play drums.
The neighbors don't.
I like to have my new driveway installed at 7am.
The neighbors....don't.
I am ok with all of these things.

-An imaginary father figure used to scare little kids into not masturbating.

-A clever illusion designed by the mentally ill to keep human civilization from reaching the stars. An illusion created to prevent humans from accepting that they die and decay away like every other living being, and to effectively control the gullible, stupid majority of the human species.

-Takes full credit for your accomplishments, but is never to blame for your failures.

I fucking love The Aquabats. They released a few new demo songs. The recording is rough, but the rock is present.
Download this song:
Aquabats-May 9 2003-Yo Check Out This Ride (Demo).mp3

Pissgasms are old and busted. Shitgasms are the new hotness. Here's detailed instructions so you can have your own shitgasm in your own home!

Step 1: Dont poop for days. Weeks if possible.

Step 2: Take a fat steaming shit.

Step 3: While dropping the Huxtables off, use your stomach muscles to push the painfully large load of ass tribblets towards your prostate.