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Journal AsnFkr's Journal: My interview with the President

Me: Mr President, whats it like to know you are the most powerful man in the know...besides Batman.

Mr President: I'm pretty sure in a brawl I could kick the crap out of Batman.

Me: I'm not sure I agree with you there. I mean, Batman has that batass utility belt. What if he is packing anti-douche spray?! You'd be fucked...seriously!

Mr President: Are you calling me a douche?!

Me: Would you agree that if you were as rich and powerful as Bill Gates you'd build a batcave and pretend that you're batman?

Mr President: ..but...I am more powerful than..

Me: No no, you suck. I'm pretty sure batman could hand you your ass even as mild-mannerd Bill Gates, lacking batass utility belt and all.

Mr President: Can we talk about anything but Bill Gates?

Me: I see you have a boner.

Mr President: That will happen.

Me: That will happen.

Mr President: Is that a question?

Me: Is that a question?

Mr President: Oh...haha..I get it..Super Troopers! haha!! "FARVA"S NUMBER ONE!!!"

Me: Hell yea, nigga.

Mr President: Ever kissed a man before?

Me: A couple of ti...hey, I'm the one with the questions...Mr Fancy Pants!

Mr President: Oh bad. Go ahead.

Me: So....ever kissed a man?

Mr President: Not yet, but I have homo-erotic thoughts when I'm fucking my hot ass drunk daughters in their gravy flumes.

Me: Really?

Mr President: No, they arent hot. And they smell kinda Jason Alexander was all up in them.

Me: Word on the street is he's been selling his crotch sent as a rare perfume to stupid celebirties. Do you think you're a stupid celeberty?

Mr President: Yes.

Me: I agree.

Mr President: What?

Me: On to my next really only blew up Iraq cause it's full of brown people, right?

Mr President: I fucking HATE brown people! They smell so weird...and hae those dots...the fucking dots look like a laser scope aimed just right to fuck them out of thier brains! I mean...they are practically *begging* to be killed! And they are the color of poop! What the FUCK is up with that?!

Me: Dude, you're on fucking crack.

Mr President: Yea, want some?

Me: Kinda...

Mr President: Ok, finish this Pepsi. Then smoosh the can down and poke some holes in it. Ill get some mesh wire and we will have a badass crack pipe.

Me: THats kinda....weird....

Mr President: Nah, the mesh works good. Here, I've got some in my pocket.

Me: Dude, are you gonna get me stoned and rape me?

Mr President: Im not gonna promise I won't.

Me: Dude, you are way fucking cooler than Vince Neil. That fuckin guys a dickface.

Mr President: He's got hot hips. I'd hit it.

Me: Word up.

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My interview with the President

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"All the people are so happy now, their heads are caving in. I'm glad they are a snowman with protective rubber skin" -- They Might Be Giants