Company Description:

The selected company will pamper, spoil and bow to the most ludicrous whim of the employee who shall be assumed to be operating on either the Prima Donna or Primo Uomo platform. This company will also be responsible for designing, implementing and deploying an ivory tower from whence the employee shall make proclamations to an audience of no less than 95% of upper management.

Required Skills/Experience:

4+ Years of ASS Kissing
Excellent understating of Nerd nomenclature and culture
Experience in scheduling something once and never having to adjust the schedule
Has Knowledge On Proper Capitalization of Sentences as Well As grammaticallitiness and speling.
Excellent Knowledge in an area outside of n-Minute management books

Preferred Skills/Experience:

In-depth knowledge of employees preferred file naming and file organization structure
Troubleshoot executive chair noises and adjustments
Ability to explain, in depth, all acronyms used in job postings to a technical audience chosen by the employee
Availability of HR to cheerfully answer all drunk texts with no repercussions
Familiar with GTD (Getting Things Done) tools like OmniFocus
Knowledge of Esperanto
Knowledge of Irrationals (like e, pi, phi, etc.)

Location: French Riviera

Duration: 5 years minimum guaranteed

Rate: $225k/yr salaried, $170/hr OT for hours greater than 30/week, and 16 weeks starting vacation per year with 4 week increments each subsequent year

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The only hits you'll get will be from really desperate companies that will bail on you the first chance they get or companies run by complete idiots. Or maybe HHS with a website project.

Forgot to add: I think you meant "your ilk's". Comes off sounding much more in line with the people you were trying to make fun of.

That was hilarious. Probably one of the funniest HuffPo parodies I've seen in a long time. Although, to be fair, even they probably aren't quite that stupid. You might want to turn it down a few notches. Unless you were going for DailyKos or LGF. Then I'd say it was pretty spot on.

I didn't know Roblimo was actually Rich Olsen. Weird.

BTW Rich, sorry for all the crap you're going to get on this article. The problem isn't you. It's the drooling, ass-kissing submittal that's most likely irritating people. And, apparently, the autoplay video. Whatever.

Your trolling would be more effective if you could post with a 5 digit account rather than as AC. Then again, someone might actually take the bait no matter how mangled and old that worm is.

Did they find any film showing Brian Williams right there with them?

When someone that makes their living selling a product reverts to an appeal to emotion to get business, I figure they're unable to articulate a rational use-case for their product.

Coming Up Next: Cloud Deniers! Why Server Huggers Are Infringing On Your Computing Rights.

When they become hip again (were they ever? I mean, amongst non-nerds?)

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

They forgot to use the phrases "much maligned" and "beleaguered". But "silently" is always a great fallback.

It's funny you say that. I was going to make a similar comment but about OS X and then looked up at Safari and thought, "Wait. I'd swear Safari did this." Just had the wrong OS. :)

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Apparently you're the only one that cared enough to say so.

awk

As it turns out, you're wrong. You use my products almost any time you fly commercially. My picture is etched in gold and orbiting the earth. Now, you I've heard of - AC must be the most common commenter on /. who throws around trash talk with no ability to back it up.