Journal Journal: v-day ideas 3
Sorry if I sounded a little harsh in my last journal entry. I guess I was angry at myself for expecting everyones' advice to magically fix my problems without me putting any effort in. So as a small update for the last two weeks- I haven't done anything and I think Natasha is getting semi-serious with a new guy. He's been over a number of times and Natasha has been going out a lot more. This breaks my heart, but I think I have a small solution to my communications problem.
As we all know Friday is valentines day, just two sleeps away for me here. Since I have so much trouble telling Natasha how I feel about her I thought I could break the ice with a valentines card. I could even make it myself instead of just buying one.
So, since I've neither given nor received a valentines day card/letter/note/whatever, I wondered if you guys could give me a little help with these mysterious tokens of affection. Here are my thoughts and questions:
- v-day stuff is usually fairly light hearted and playful, right? So I shouldn't come out with the heavy stuff about how I've wanted her for years and how I suffered watching her with the last guy.
- I'd like to sign/close it with "The guy trapped inside Ians' head" and add "please help me escape!". That is how I often feel - trapped in a goofs' body, unable to do the things I want. It could also take some of the directness out of what I have to say.
- Write some text or (non-rhyming) poetry. Further to the last point, something like "I have a mouth yet I can not speak".
- I was thinking I could attach it to her car at the train station while she's at work, or maybe slip it in an open window. Or should I put it on her car for her to find first thing in the morning? What sort of timing should I use? Should she get it in the morning and have it all day, or when she's just getting home? Knowing my luck, she'd find some way to stuff me up unintentionally, like going out with her new guy straight after work. So maybe first thing in the morning would be a safer delivery. But it feels "riskier".
I don't know what else to add. I hope I have the guts to go through with this. Comments?
Update: First draft before I go to bed. I do all my best thinking in the shower
I have watched you all these years
and held my toungue.
Now that you are free
I still can not speak.
I am trapped
in this form.
Won't you set me free?
The guy trapped in Ians head.
Thoughts?
Update 2: Ooh boy, T-4 hours. I've printed out the letter and folded it. I decided to go with a more direct text. Here's what I finally wrote:
Natasha, you're a wonderful person.
You have been my friend for many years
and nothing could be more precious to me.
Now I want to spend more time with you
and get to know you better.
Maybe even become more than just friends.What do you say?
It's printed out and I've folded it up. The only problem is the weather. It rained around midnight but it didn't last too long. Now I could either wait around another few hours to see how the weather goes and place the letter at the last moment if it's still good. Or I could perhaps wrap it up in cling(sarin)-wrap to keep it dry. Somehow that doesn't seem as classy. I wouldn't think she left any of the windows open, even a little, certainly not overnight. Although, can't you force electric windows down a bit? All I need is a few millimetres to push the letter through. And I still haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to get out of my bedroom window and back in.
Wish me luck!