imroy's Journal: v-day ideas

Sorry if I sounded a little harsh in my last journal entry. I guess I was angry at myself for expecting everyones' advice to magically fix my problems without me putting any effort in. So as a small update for the last two weeks- I haven't done anything and I think Natasha is getting semi-serious with a new guy. He's been over a number of times and Natasha has been going out a lot more. This breaks my heart, but I think I have a small solution to my communications problem.

As we all know Friday is valentines day, just two sleeps away for me here. Since I have so much trouble telling Natasha how I feel about her I thought I could break the ice with a valentines card. I could even make it myself instead of just buying one.

So, since I've neither given nor received a valentines day card/letter/note/whatever, I wondered if you guys could give me a little help with these mysterious tokens of affection. Here are my thoughts and questions:

• v-day stuff is usually fairly light hearted and playful, right? So I shouldn't come out with the heavy stuff about how I've wanted her for years and how I suffered watching her with the last guy.
• I'd like to sign/close it with "The guy trapped inside Ians' head" and add "please help me escape!". That is how I often feel - trapped in a goofs' body, unable to do the things I want. It could also take some of the directness out of what I have to say.
• Write some text or (non-rhyming) poetry. Further to the last point, something like "I have a mouth yet I can not speak".
• I was thinking I could attach it to her car at the train station while she's at work, or maybe slip it in an open window. Or should I put it on her car for her to find first thing in the morning? What sort of timing should I use? Should she get it in the morning and have it all day, or when she's just getting home? Knowing my luck, she'd find some way to stuff me up unintentionally, like going out with her new guy straight after work. So maybe first thing in the morning would be a safer delivery. But it feels "riskier".

I don't know what else to add. I hope I have the guts to go through with this. Comments?

Update: First draft before I go to bed. I do all my best thinking in the shower :)

I have watched you all these years
and held my toungue.
Now that you are free
I still can not speak.
I am trapped
in this form.
Won't you set me free?

The guy trapped in Ians head.

Thoughts?

Update 2: Ooh boy, T-4 hours. I've printed out the letter and folded it. I decided to go with a more direct text. Here's what I finally wrote:

Natasha, you're a wonderful person.
You have been my friend for many years
and nothing could be more precious to me.
Now I want to spend more time with you
and get to know you better.
Maybe even become more than just friends.

What do you say?

It's printed out and I've folded it up. The only problem is the weather. It rained around midnight but it didn't last too long. Now I could either wait around another few hours to see how the weather goes and place the letter at the last moment if it's still good. Or I could perhaps wrap it up in cling(sarin)-wrap to keep it dry. Somehow that doesn't seem as classy. I wouldn't think she left any of the windows open, even a little, certainly not overnight. Although, can't you force electric windows down a bit? All I need is a few millimetres to push the letter through. And I still haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to get out of my bedroom window and back in.
Wish me luck!

motive?

[Flamesplash]

I think the approach depends on your motive. Do you want to give the card to her as a friend or as a potential love interest? Which one do you want her to see? If it's the former then scrap everything you posted, other than giving her a card.

Given what you said though I'm guessing you want her to know how you feel.

I'd be wary of really going into the watching you for all this time stuff. I really don't know her or you, but it could be a little freaky if that's how you open the romantic door with her, then again she might find it endearing. Just remember that you have hormones going on full strength trying to figure this and you don't want to dump all that on her. It's good to bring that out later, but it might be much at first.

If you want her to know how you feel and you want to more or less ask her to spend time with you with some intention of being more then friends then do tell her that in your card/poem.

Take what I've said half as devil's advocate. Don't get lost in your emotions as they are riding high and try to think of things from her side too of receiving something from you. If you think your original poem is good given what you want and how you think she'll react then go for it.

Also, leaving it on her car so she can find it in the morning is good I think. It gives her time to think about it and let it settle in. Also it doesn't force her into a corner if you're right there. She may feel like she has to "decide" right then. Then again if it feels appropriate you can do that too, it makes it more personal and gives you more of an active role instead of always just being in the background.

Re:motive?

[imroy]

I think the approach depends on your motive.

Good point. I guess I had gotten all tied up in my emotions and had forgotten that logical starting point.

Given what you said though I'm guessing you want her to know how you feel.

Correct. And I want to get around my inability to tell her face-to-face. This will hopefull get the ball rolling. I just it rolls in the right direction...

I'd be wary of really going into the watching you for all this time stuff. I really don't know her or you, but it could be a little freaky if that's how you open the romantic door with her, then again she might find it endearing. Just remember that you have hormones going on full strength trying to figure this and you don't want to dump all that on her. It's good to bring that out later, but it might be much at first.

Ok, so "watching you" should be changed. Given what you've said, I think I will go for a simpler, lighter letter. I'll go looking at valentine cards today when I go shopping. Get some ideas.

Also, leaving it on her car so she can find it in the morning is good I think. It gives her time to think about it and let it settle in. Also it doesn't force her into a corner if you're right there.

For some reason my first concern when I was thinking it over was "I don't want to affect her work during the day" :P
If it rains during the night/morning though then I'm stuffed...

Re:motive?

[Flamesplash]

I'll go looking at valentine cards today when I go shopping. Get some ideas.

If you have the materials and abilities to create a card, that would be a great idea. It's a subtle way of saying you matter enough to me to put effort into it. My sister in law does this, it's neat.

For some reason my first concern when I was thinking it over was "I don't want to affect her work during the day" :P
If it rains during the night/morning though then I'm stuffed...

True. Okay, how does this sound. Make/buy the card tomorrow and have it ready by the time she comes home. If there is any good way to give her the card when she is relaxed do that so that even though you are there, she won't be already tense. One suggestion is to seal it and address it to her without a return address and slip it in with her mail, then she'll see it's you from the signature inside. If possible, breach the subject between you. And remember even if she doesn't want to jump your bones right there, there is always the opportunity to become closer friends.