Yeah, people are working until retirement age now
Well, you have to retire from something.
I got the home loan before I did all of this
Yeah, that. Can't get a mortgage with no credit. Kind of the flaw in your plan. Cars, boats, and unimproved rural land can certainly all be paid for in cash by someone in the middle class, if they have the time and willpower. Houses? Only if you have a very particular set of skills.
Plug something unexpected in and security shows up, not the admin.
You really want the guys who don't know what they're looking at to show up instead of the admin? How about the admin shows up, WITH security if it's something highly suspicious like a WAP suddenly appearing... and of course, immediately being blocked due to an unregistered MAC.
egrep -n '^[a-z].*\(' $ | sort -t':' +2.0