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Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon 312

Posted by Zonk
from the tastes-like-chicken-or-so-i've-heard dept.
Jearil writes "Wired's 'Table of Malcontents' blog links to an article about a wine-tasting robot that thinks humans taste like bacon. The Japanese robot is intended to act as a personal sommelier, suggesting wines, cheeses, and hors d'oeuvres based on its owners personal tastes. It also apparently thinks humans would be tasty as part of a sandwich." From the article: "Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon ... Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses ... like 'tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.' But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto." This is most distressing.
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Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon

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  • by Tackhead (54550) on Thursday November 09, 2006 @07:59PM (#16789831)
    Ask a Polynesian cannibal why they called it long pig.

    If there are no Polynesian cannibals in your area, ask a soldier or fireman what burning human flesh smells like.

    We smell like pork when we're well-done. The robot got it absolutely right. And I, for one, would like to remind the robot that I'm absolutely delicious when served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

  • No pig for me (Score:5, Interesting)

    by AsnFkr (545033) on Thursday November 09, 2006 @08:18PM (#16789957) Homepage Journal
    This is seriously why I don't dine on swine. Back on the farm I grew up on from time to time we'd have to cut up a pig for whatever reason and the way pig's flesh looks when being cut open looks EXACTLY like human flesh being cut, and it's haunted me for years. Pigs are just too close to people in my mind.
  • by gsn (989808) on Thursday November 09, 2006 @08:18PM (#16789959)
    "The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."
  • Aztecs Can Confirm! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by NoTailNoGoodnik (882750) on Thursday November 09, 2006 @08:20PM (#16789973)

    The robot probably isn't far off...

    The Aztecs had a long legacy of cannibalism as part of their religious ceremonies. It was considered (I assume by those not experiencing it) an honor to be killed and eaten as a token to their god(s).

    After the Spanish came and forcefully converted the native American survivors to Roman Catholocism, the Aztecs adopted the stigma attached to cannibalism. However, they couldn't get enough of that porcine protein brought over from Europe. When asked about their focused consumption of pigs, the former people eaters replied with a simple answer: pigs taste like you and me.

  • smells like it (Score:5, Interesting)

    by gad_zuki! (70830) on Thursday November 09, 2006 @08:29PM (#16790041)
    True story. I was having radiosurgery to remove a birthmark a couple of years ago. Essentially it burns off the skin in a way that allows it to heal with no scarring. I'm dosed up with Novocain and am lying down trying not think of whats going on a few inches from my eyes. Suddenly it smells like burning pork. I think to myself "What the hell is burning." A moment later I realized it was me.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 09, 2006 @08:33PM (#16790073)
    As a vegetarian, I'm going to stick to hufu [wikipedia.org], the "tofu-based product that is meant to resemble, as realistically as possible, the taste and texture of human flesh"!

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. -- Wernher von Braun

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