Google Adjusts Hiring Processes 355
Carl Bialik from WSJ writes "Google is attempting to fine tune its hiring process as it ramps up recruiting to keep pace with its success, the Wall Street Journal reports. From the article: 'In Google's early years, [Sergey] Brin or co-founder Larry Page interviewed nearly all job candidates before they were officially hired. A former Google executive recounts how, on occasion, Mr. Brin would show up for candidates' job interviews in unconventional dress, from roller blades to a cow costume complete with rubber udders around Halloween. Even today, at least one of the co-founders reviews every job offer recommended by an internal hiring committee on a weekly basis, sometimes pushing back with questions about an individual's qualifications.' While the interview process can remain 'glacial,' Google's new head of human resources notes that the average number of in-person interviews for each candidate offered a job has declined to 5.1 from 6.2. The company continues to seek overqualified employees who can be promoted quickly."
Also gone? Brin's hiring catchphrase (Score:4, Funny)
Just a few things to consider (Score:5, Funny)
Either you'll be learning it to get in, or you'll be learning it to speak to your future boss.
Have a nice day.
Re:Just a few things to consider (Score:5, Funny)
Human Resources Shit (Score:5, Funny)
These people, without knowing any little shit about really what a particular position would require psychologically and technically from an applicant, mess up whole system by putting forth absurd and utterly stupid "psychological evaluation" crapola in front of the candidates. Check this one out :
"You have come back late from work, and suddenly phone rings, and a group of 10 of your friends announce that they are coming to your place for dinner. You check around the cupboards, and find out that there is only one sack of flour and some pepper. What do you do ?"
Stupid bitch (in this case), i pick up the phone and tell the fucking friends to buzz off, of course. Moreover you are so stupid that you are totally incapable of realizing such above shit have the pitiful possibility of happening anywhere in this worldly civilization as :
1 - when you come home from work at 23.00 at night, noone rings and says they are coming to dinner
2 - only in military, and only high level officers can gather up a 10 people strong group at 23.00 in the night instantly.
3 - People after college do not tend to still live in and get around in herds.
4 - EVEN if somehow with great glory of existence such a crapola has happened, the most spectacular thing that anyone can do with a sack of flour, some amount of peppers and tap water is adding some water to flour and pepper, and showing the resulting mixture up his incoming friends' asses.
Furthermore, stupid bitch (in this case), you are SO stupid, SO overly away from realities is that the LEAST thing you would require in a production line supervisor mechanical engineer is extravertness, talkativeness, and high social activity. You are going to put him in front of a 15 m production line that never stops, constantly takes in raw materials and purports out intermediate parts. if you put someone with social wants or aptidude to such a position, chances are high that in 1.5 years time he will show up at work with a shotgun at hand and blow off 5-10 of his colleagues, probably including your bitchy (in this case) ass.
f*ck.
Re:How many ? (Score:4, Funny)
It's anti-Google. Other possible troll topics include suggesting that the GPL is viral, suggersting the PS3 might succeed, being positive about Microsoft, and any opinion on hot button topics such as gun control or immigration.
Re:Decline? or just plain incline (Score:2, Funny)
I guess we know one person that isn't qualified for Google.
Re:Also gone? Brin's hiring catchphrase (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Study hard at school kids (Score:1, Funny)
... bossy... cow costume... *chortle*! [google.com]
Re:Building Bad Practices (Score:3, Funny)
I thought that was working as ahem "an actor" for Playboy Productions? I've always fancied a job in penetration testing?
Cow-orkers (Score:1, Funny)
Damn Right (Score:5, Funny)
In a recent interview whilst the actual hirer and I were discussing their database set up the HR muppet interjected
"What does 'diversity' mean to you ?"
"Er, how do you mean" I asked, "In what context ?"
"D . . I . . V . . E . . R . . S . . I . . T . . Y ? What does it mean, to . . . . . . YOU ?"
"Well it means a wide range of, er, things - different things. A diverse selection of, whatever"
"Yes..."
"Yes ?"
"Diversity, whatdoesitmean, to YOU ?"
"I often make use of a diverse range of techniques in order evalutate them all and select the most appropriate technique for the task I was focusing on."
"Yes but in an office context, come on - in the office ?"
"Offices with a diverse range of facilities are often quite nice, I've worked in a few and enjoyed it..."
( frowning HR Muppet ) "...but how about co-workers in an office environment ?"
"I think it's a good idea to have a wide range of diverse talents and abilities within a particular team in order to maximise the chances of fitting a specific skillset with a particular challenge. In addition an aggressive policy of experience pooling can enable team members to improve their own knowledge in return for sharing their specialist knowledge with the group at large."
"Yeeeessssss, but what other kinds of diversity do you think are important in an office environment ?"
"I don't know. What other kinds ?"
I didn't get that job.
"
Re:Study hard at school kids (Score:1, Funny)
Yes, it is. Our GPA is out of 5.0.
Correct Answer (Score:5, Funny)
Slaughter the first 3 as they step through the door and fry them up with peppers to provide a magnificent feast for the others. After you've eaten they can help you clean up the apartment and learn a salutory lesson about what happens to people who demand they come around to your house and eat your food without being invited.
Re:Correct Answer (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Well, they certainly need to change something.. (Score:3, Funny)
I've worked in telecommunications for over twenty years, and I have yet to see a phone in North America with a "+" button on it. With all due respect, WTF are you talking about?
Some more answers (Score:3, Funny)
OR
Of course there is no food in the fridge. There is no food in the fridge because I have guessed all my friends would once again be arriving unannounced ( the jokers ) and have already taken all the food out of the fridge and cooked a delicious 3 course meal for 10. So Mr Interviewer, hah what do you say to that then eh !
OR
My friends are all supermodels, when they say "Coming around to eat" what they actually mean is they're coming around to do cocaine and I always have plenty of that.
Re:Study hard at school kids (Score:3, Funny)
*ducks*
Re:Correct Answer (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Study hard at school kids (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Study hard at school kids (Score:3, Funny)
I worked at a company with a VP of engineering enamored with degrees from "top" institutions. We ended up hiring this girl with no experience, but a Masters from Stanford. NONE of the engineering managers wanted to hire her, but my boss was ordered to make her an offer (the first manager said he'd quit first).
In the 90 days before we let her go, she spend two weeks learning how to find and edit files; asked me what the "0x" in front of numbers meant; and told me she's found a major flaw in our software. The flaw? We were setting pointers to NULL! She explained to me that that is a bad value....
Even our most phlegmatic engineer threatened to quit if he had to work with her... I don't think I'll ever hire someone from Stanford after THAT experience!
Re:Damn Right (Score:1, Funny)
Long hair and fed? Either you're a female or getting accused of looking like a fed by people who don't know what they're talking about.
3 things are certain (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Study hard at school kids (Score:2, Funny)
Why is this so funny? (Score:3, Funny)
Clearly on Slashdot, it's not enough to slaughter and prepare 3 of your friends to feed the rest. No, first you have to run a sort.