Discussing a Private Buyout of Microsoft

PatriceVignon writes "Are private buyout companies setting their eyes on Microsoft? The Financial Times claims exactly that in an article called 'Private equity folk could do wonders with Microsoft', as ZDnet reports: 'Consider Microsoft, which has a balance sheet so inefficient that it would make a private equity investor weep ... The new management could take the axe to Microsoft's $6.6bn of wasteful research and development expenditure. The bloated workforce of more than 60,000 could be slashed, to the point where the huge resulting increase in cash flow would at last permit the company to borrow mega-billions.' Business Week, though, begs to differ: 'practically speaking, it's not going to happen,' and quotes Daniel Primack: 'Snakes on a Plane will win a best picture Oscar before Microsoft gets acquired by LBO firms.' What do you think?"

Memorable Quotes:

[TripMaster Monkey]

"Snakes on a Plane will win a best picture Oscar before Microsoft gets acquired by LBO firms."

Daniel Primack

"I have HAD it with these muthafsckin' LBO firms tryin' to acquire my muthafsckin' company!".

Steve Ballmer

(The funny thing is, I can easily imagine him delivering this diatribe as he swings a chair menacingly...) ^_^

SoaP

[just_another_sean]

I think Snakes on a Plane won't win an Oscar.

In My Humble Opinion...

[twofidyKidd]

I think...

"...tak[ing] the axe to Microsoft..."

is a good start.

Re:Come on! 10X Bigger than the Biggest Ever?

[Red Flayer]

I like the comparison of Best Picture Oscar and Snakes on a Plane. Seriously though, I wouldn't be surprised if that film actually wins best film.

I'd like to thank the motherf***ing Academy for this got-damn award. I'd also like to thank my motherf***ing wife, my motherf***ing agent, and the motherf***ing director.

Re:but of course!

[Red Flayer]

Dear Marco,

Thank you for your timely suggestion regarding the future fate of Microsoft. Based on your idea, we have calculated that maximal profits over the next 10-year period can be achieved by doing exactly as you suggest.

And of course, even that is considered long-term planning in today's corporate world.

Sincerely, Preston Winfield
CEO, AAA LBO Company #2

Re:Memorable Quotes:

[Anonymous Coward]

You're about as funny as "User Friendly".

Re:Come on! 10X Bigger than the Biggest Ever?

[Anonymous Coward]

"Last but not least, my motherf**** dad, if it weren't for that motherf**** I wouldn't be here..." *rimshot* thank you i'll be here all week

Re:Utterly Absurd

[shawb]

I'll see your Phantom and raise you one Duke Nukem Forever... shipping on said Phantom.

Re:In My Humble Opinion...

[darthtrevino]

From my parents basement in Wyoming, I stab at thee..

Re:Snakes on a Plane will win a best picture Oscar

[niceone]

And if it can't there's always a chance for the sequel: Snakes on a sinking ship.

Re:Come on! 10X Bigger than the Biggest Ever?

[soft_guy]

Pretty pictures make great games, but why would I want that for an OS?

And if you did want such a thing, you would have bought a Mac two years ago.

Slashdot

[Enrique1218]

Fantasies for nerds. Stuff that will never happen.

Re:Memorable Quotes:

[Anonymous Coward]

I currently work at a help desk. User Friendly is like Dilbert if Scott Adams were a drooling moron who didn't understand human nature and limited himself to one narrow topic.

Re:Memorable Quotes:

[Karma Farmer]

User Friendly is like Dilbert if Scott Adams were a drooling moron who didn't understand human nature and limited himself to one narrow topic.

so, how is it different than dilbert?