The Whiz of Silver Bullets

ChelleChelle writes "In an entertaining yet well thought-out article, software architect Alex E. Bell of The Boeing Company lashes out at the so-called 'Silver Bullets' and those who rely on them to solve all their software development difficulties. From the article: 'the desperate, the pressured, and the ignorant are among those who continue to worship the silver-bullet gods and plead for continuance of silver-fueled delusions that are keeping many of their projects alive.'"

The Real Silver Bullet

[MarkByers]

Microsoft Vista! It's the silver bullet for everyone! Where do you want to go today? TM

Silver Bullet in a Concealed-Carry Revolver

[Anonymous Coward]

Consider the following scenario. You have told your boss, in total honesty, that your software code will need 8 weeks to complete. Your boss cuts your time to only 4 weeks and then pressures you by hinting that he may fire you if you do not comply with the new accelerated schedule.

In this case, if you under 18 years of age, I recommend that you buy a box of silver bullets or just plain vanilla lead bullets. Put the bullets into your revolver. Hide the revolver in your jacket. Then, walk into your boss' office. Fire away. You will not be tried as an adult since you are not a legal adult. Better yet, after you reach the age of 18, your criminal record will be wiped clean.

If you are over 18 years of age, you need to weigh the situation carefully. If you kill your boss, then you will definitely be tried for 1st degree murder. You may be eligible to submit a plea of insanity. Most states allow such a plea. Check with your lawyer before you start shooting.

UML and managers

[cerberusss]

Overheard while doing an internship at Logica CMG [logicacmg.com]:

Manager: "This new project should be done with new project management methods, like UML"
Senior: "Uuh, you do know that UML is a notation for diagrams?"
Manager (irritated): "Yeah, of course I know that. You know what I mean!"

Re:Silver Bullet in a Concealed-Carry Revolver

[Anonymous Coward]

Judging by the quality, quite many of them.

Re:The Real Silver Bullet

[smittyoneeach]

You mean this [coorslight.com] stuff I've been quaffing for years is bogus? Piss!

Re:Bullets?

[tfinniga]

As opposed to my generic walrus olympics opening ceremonies method?

Re:Stop the BLAME GAME!

[DoofusOfDeath]

How about those that preach Open Source will solve all problems? Or how about Ruby? What about Perl, Java, Linux?

I agree with you 100%. Those people are just wrong-headed and can't be reasoned with. It's Python that accelerates software development.

Re:Stop the BLAME GAME!

[indifferent children]

It's Python that accelerates software development.

In our shop, it's Java that accelerates software development, and I don't mean the programming language.

Splendid stuff!

[Rogerborg]

Reading this article has instantly solved all of my project management problems!

Re:Sorry, no sale :p

[acklenx]

Of course not... they'll put the "Cluj" in the box and ship it!

Alternatives to silver bullets

[ch-chuck]

Other things to try are

1) Stake thru the heart
2) Garlic worn around the neck
3) Holy water
4) Crucifix
5) Sunlight

Re:UML and managers

[julesh]

Is it just me who, if told to do some software projcet "using UML" that really wasn't appropriate for it, who would turn up to a meeting a few weeks later and say "What? You didn't mean User-Mode Linux?"