Self-Heating Coffee Cans Recalled

Old Man Kensey writes "Apparently those nifty Wolfgang Puck self-heating latte cans, introduced with such fanfare last year, have proven to be buggy -- cans have been reported failing to heat adequately or, more disturbingly, exploding and melting through the packaging. A recall has been announced -- here's hoping the flaws can be 'patched' soon."

Honestly

[Monkeys!!!]

I've heard of starting the day with a bang but this is rediculous.

Man, that's gotta hurt

[6Yankee]

Your hands would be Pucked!

Expectations

[cffrost]

From TFA:

OnTech's launch campaign for the self-heating product is "It Does What?"

"It takes time to educate the world to what [self-heating] is about," Weisz said.

It takes time, no doubt in part because the answer is, "it explodes."

Lawsuit Material

[Matilda the Hun]

Now, instead of all the "Contents may be hot" labels, everyone's going to have to start putting "Warning! Contents may detonate" on their coffee cups to avoid lawsuits.

Enough is enough

[LoonyMike]

Stop with the JAVA-bashing already

Re:Expectations

[Monkeys!!!]

"....it takes time, no doubt in part because the answer is, "it explodes."

Actually that will be one of the quickest educational experiences you will ever have.

Re:Japan

[Anonymous Coward]

Two reasons: 1) Japan uses the metric system. Can't have a drink measured in liters on the American market. 2) No can on the Japanese market comes close to the size that Americans expect.

Patching the flaws

[Ithika]

I'm no great Java programmer or anything, but shouldn't the virtual machine prevent serious damage to the rest of the system (hand)?

It could be argued in this case that the software is not at fault, but the hardware. So no amount of adding in extra parentheses will fix the problem. Tis not just a matter of removing the line that says:

if ((date.month).contains('r')) {
igniteCan(SAFE_IGNITION * 50);
} else {
igniteCan(SAFE_IGNITION);
}

It works

[digitaldc]

I've heard of starting the day with a bang but this is rediculous.

Exploding coffee: Guaranteed to wake your ass UP!

Re:It works

[Odin's Raven]

Exploding coffee: Guaranteed to wake your ass UP!

Personally, I find coffee is more effective when applied to the other end of the gastrointestinal tract, but to each their own. ;-)

Re:IT???

[indifferent children]

First of all, how is a self-heating coffee can related to IT?

It's a new platform for Java. Though it does sound like they were too aggressive with the overclocking.

In other news

[technoextreme]

Wolfgang Puck's coffe cups were renamed Emril's Coffe cups.

Boom!

[6Yankee]

From TFA: it overheated and then blew up, sending her to the hospital.

It blew her that far? Now that's an explosion!

Hot Coffee

[DoofusOfDeath]

Wow, the Hot Coffee mod just gets EVERYONE in trouble, doesn't it?

Re:Patching the flaws

[indifferent children]

The biggest complaints (including mine) seem to be about garbage collection.

Benefits far outweigh the risks

[dpbsmith]

Stop all the snivelling, cavilling, whining, Nervous Nellyism. No Progress can be made without taking risks. Did a few minor scalds and burns stop Chuck Yeager?

Would you like to go back to the dark ages, before antibiotics, the flush toilet, and self-heating coffee cans? When women were barred from advancement, trapped in a lifetime of relentless toil over hot coffeepots? When people routinely perished from exposure walking miles through blizzards attempting to reach the nearest Starbucks? When greedy vending barons forced workers to dig into their pockets for their last few coins, then laughed sadistically as their machines tauntingly dispensed chicken bouillion instead of coffee?

I say, who wouldn't gladly risk a few small explosions in order to be able to enjoy a hot can of gourmet rich expresso lattee [wpgourmetlattes.com]--say, what's in this stuff, anyway? Ingredients: Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee (Ingredients (Water, Coffee segmentation fault: core dumped

Re:They suck

[Provocateur]

or having a worrying chemical aftertaste

Dude, you're supposed to drink it from the top.
 

In Soviet Russia...

[atheist666]

self-heating coffee can heats YOU!

Re:It works

[Spokehedz]

caffeine can be absorbed through the lower GI tract, as well as Alcohol and other nutrients. It's where the old joke...

****

A patient who was being fed rectally had a birthday when he was in the hospital, and the nurse decided to give him a treat on his birthday. She hooked up some icecream to his feeding tube and left the patient. A couple of minutes later, she heard screaming and groaning coming down the hall. Knowing what it undoubtedly must be, she rushed in and started to apologize profusely.

"I'm so sorry! Is it too cold?"

"NO! I HATE RUM RAISIN!"

****

Comes from. Of course, Ice cream cannot be tasted through the rectum--it is merely a joke. But the surface area of the rectum is much greater than that of the stomach, which allows the absorption of said chemicals/liquids to be absorbed MUCH quicker. Much like the vaporized alcohol that's beginning to show up in some yuppie-fied bars as-of-late that you simply inhale and get blitzed for about an hour.

But the idea of rectal feeding has been pretty much removed with the advent of modern intravenous methods. I've heard that unless your going to be doing some physical work, you can actually get all your required nutrients through an IV. I'm thinking 'heads in jars' are in store for some of us.