I said I'd like to try the train up from Helsinki. They said, "Why bother? All you'll see is trees, just shorter trees as you go north."

And, from the low-resolution map at least, they seem to be right.

Saved two bytes, though...

a short-order cook cannot work from the toilet

...but when I was in McJail, I had a shift manager who would disappear into the toilets whenever a bus showed up. Even grabbed a quarter-pounder to eat while he was sitting there, with his trousers round his ankles, listening to the rest of us running around like headless chickens.

He was most unimpressed when we discovered that we could get to the cistern from the cleaning cupboard and flush the bog under him :D

Submitter might have sold his boat...

blink and you might miss 2012

I'm narcoleptic, you insensitive clzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

Probably best to avoid anything even slightly Qur'anish on a plane, though, in case some idiot should panic. Sad world...

That's not coal... That's a Guinness turd!

Gotta have duct tape in there somewhere. Over the ethernet port for a start. And then over the corner of the monitor so they can't click that minimise button.

Flat rate, 25 euros a month. Been looking for a meter since I moved in and can't find one.

A family member works in the electricity industry in the UK. He reckoned that something like 80% of the company's costs went on installing, reading, maintaining, and billing based on metering. If they'd just be allowed to move to flat rate billing for domestic customers, everyone's bill would come down *and* the company would have more money to invest in cleaner generation. But no, they have to install smart meters and keep the price high to encourage people to be "green".

Most of my friends are in one time zone, my relatives in yet another, my colleagues in several others. Response times are laregly governed by who's asleep.