Microsoft to Acquire ProClarity

Gosalia writes "In order to increase its presence in the business intelligence market, Microsoft announced its plan to acquire business analytics software developer ProClarity. 'This acquisition advances our (business intelligence) strategy and our ability to deliver performance management applications to customers,' Jeff Raikes, Microsoft business division president, said in a statement."

The borg seem more appealing now...

[Chordonblue]

At least the Borg are honest:

'This acquisition advances our (business intelligence) strategy and our ability to deliver performance management applications to customers,' Jeff Raikes, Microsoft business division president, said in a statement.

Translates to: 'And.. Oh yeah, I'm going to be filthy rich!'

but

[caffeinemessiah]

will it come with Clippy the dancing enterprise resource planner paperclip, or Fido the inventory managing wonderdog?

seriously though, i'd be interested in seeing how they take an incredibly complex app domain (in general) and try to fit it into a typical microsoft interface template, where things like selectively averaging columns in Excel is non-trivial...

Re:The borg seem more appealing now...

[Daniel Dvorkin]

seriously, it feels like the 80's again with all this stupid management jargon

This is new and different! It's stupid management jargon ... on the Internet!!!

What Raikes really meant

[daddyrief]

'This acquisition advances our (buyout) strategy, and allows us to innovate quickly by bypassing the brainstorming and invention phases.'

ProClarity?

[Farmer Tim]

If Microsoft were to aquire some ordinary home-grade clarity, that would be enough for me.

obligatory Simpsons

[seven of five]

(goons with pocket protectors move in, rough up 'acquisition prospect').
Bill Gates leaves, sniggering "checks? I didn't get rich writing checks!"

hmp.... I wonder why they don't show this one anymore....

Re:The borg seem more appealing now...

[SeeMyNuts!]

There's no jargon, just a paradigm-shifting wave of common sense management tactics. In the new system, you start out as a Feng Shui White Belt and work your way up to Shabby Chic Grand Master. All you have to do to begin is attend several confidence building sessions and knowledge empowerment courses, which complement the integrated business intelligence software environment.

"intelligence"?

[slavemowgli]

"business intelligence"... is that the new euphemism for "corporate espionage"?