LOTR Jumps the Shark

eggoeater writes "The latest incarnation of The Lord of the Rings is here in the form of musical theater and, as reported by Yahoo News, the reviews are not good. The Toronto production puts less emphasis on plot, character, and music, and concentrates more on hi-tech theatrics. The production uses a 40-ton, computer controlled stage with 17 elevators and the cast of 55 goes through 500 costumes in the 3 hour performance. Despite this, the same critics say it will be a big money-maker."

sharks not a problem

[joeyspqr]

well, when it jumps the Watcher in the Water, it'll have more than bad reviews to worry about

Don't miss the next theatrical masterpiece...

[Mayhem178]

"There And Back Again: Hobbits in Tights"

The whole trilogy??

[Rob T Firefly]

Peter Jackson had to cut huge chunks out of the trilogy to fit it into 10 hours or so of film. How much of the content could possibly be retained in a stage show that runs about a quarter as long, and made interesting and comprehensible to a general audience?

FRODO: Hi there, I'm Frodo.
GANDALF: Here, take this ring and chuck it.
FRODO: Okay!
BLACK RIDERS: Grrrr!
FRODO: *chuck*
CAST: Yay!

Don't forget Spock!

[orthogonal]

It's been done before, and by no less than Leonard "Spock" Nimoy and a chorus of overly-wholesome '70s fly-girls [alteringtime.com]

only one?

[endrue]

the show based on J.R.R. Tolkien's epic trilogy drew only one standing ovation in more than three hours

Wow - it must have really sucked.

- Andrew

Hmmm..

[RoadWarriorX]

Maybe they need a stunt turkey [tv.com] to jump through a ring of fire between acts!

Yeah, that's the ticket!

A LOTR musical?

[Opportunist]

Hmmm... what could it look like?

First we get the hobbit party (first 2 songs, "let there be friends" and "it's good to be a Hobbit"). Then the big key scene where Frodo gets the ring and has to leave (big ballade, "Why me?"). They leave and get hunted by the nazguls (a little ballet filler there), pick up Aragorn somehow (not a lot of time, just a brief song "Once a king's son").

Legolas and Gimli come into the fold at the king's court (no time for a long why the king is sick or whatnot, just a quick meeting and the big key ballade "Fellowship of the ring", whole ensemble including the nazguls dancing).

Then a quick battle at helm's deep, where Legolas and Gimli sing a duet instead of fighting and finally Frodo singing a duet with Gollum akin to the one between Jean Valjean and Javert in Les Miserables, "My precious".

Oh yeah, I can already see me watch this...

My Precious

[digitaldc]

My dear Sam, you cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do. Your part in this story will go on. Please write produce a massive stage performance that noone will ever forget.

Stop trying to dredge this up, dammit!

[edunbar93]

It doesn't exist! Nope! Never heard of that musical! I'm not listening! LALALALALA!

My first thought was...

[MarkusQ]

My first thought was "I'd never pay to see that!"

Then I re-read the line:

40-ton, computer controlled stage with 17 elevators and the cast of 55

My second thought was, "Hmmm. I wonder if they use MSWindows, on a wireless network?" It might be worth going to see after all.

-- MarkusQ

It is a fantastic production.

[thatguywhoiam]

I enjoyed it thoroughly.

However, it should be noted, this performance simply cannot be enjoyed without partaking first in some of that famous pipeweed. [jedi-hobbit.net]

Re:Don't miss the next theatrical masterpiece...

[Mayhem178]

Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of... "Dink dink! Dink dink dink dink, dink, dink! Dink dink! Dink dink dink dink, dink, dink!"

Re:Yeah well...

[jpellino]

But there's no right angles or hard reflection surfaces or heavy exhaust on eagles - they're born stealthy!
Oh, wait. You mean "old school" stealth. Ah. Never mind.
(Moderators: this is the laugh-it's-funny part of this exchange.)

KArma Whore

[stud9920]

Just in case anyone here doesn't know what that means.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma_Whore [wikipedia.org]

Re:High tech stage?

[Alex P Keaton in da]

Um- What about this one?
Debbie Does Dallas The Musical! (Not a joke)
All the plot, no nudity or sex!!!
(Link is marginally suitable for work- pic just shows bare midriffed actresses in cheerleader costumes) http://www.abc.net.au/thingo/txt/s1175206.htm [abc.net.au]
Because man, the plot of most porn movies is so good, that you can take out the sex, and have an awesome story!!!!

Re:My first thought was...

[Odin's Raven]

40-ton, computer controlled stage with 17 elevators and the cast of 55

My second thought was, "Hmmm. I wonder if they use MSWindows, on a wireless network?" It might be worth going to see after all.

A mysterious person haunts a theater, wreaking havoc on a musical production, causing mysterious equipment malfunctions that threaten to derail the performance. Thus was the storyline for "The Phantom of the Internet Explorer" born...

(An earlier draft based around exploits in a 3rd-party browser called Opera was tossed out because marketing didn't think the show's title was catchy enough.)

Happened long ago

[slavemowgli]

Oh, come on. LOTR jumped the shark when that idiot Peter Jackson decided to butcher it in an attempt to get filthy rich (possibly earlier than that, too, given the animated movies from the 70s, but I don't think those were mainstream enough to really count).

You saw the short version too eh?

[ylikone]

LOTR Short Version [porn613.com]

Despire the link URL, trust me, this is not a link to porn.