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32,000 "Why I'm Tired" Emails
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"The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a neccessity." - Oscar Wilde
"The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a neccessity." - Oscar Wilde
Er. what's the point ? (Score:0, Interesting)
Re:Less bloat gives more trust (Score:3, Interesting)
Web design (Score:2, Interesting)
A lot of webdesigner should take a lot at this site. It's clear, has no distracting elements, is fast to download and serves it's purpose perfectly. Unlike many other sites out there.
Cause to rejoice (Score:5, Interesting)
So what, one might ask. Why is this reason to make merry? Because of the connection. The site makes its plea, and people give what they have, leaving their hearts just a tiny bit lighter. People reaching out to each other across the void, to total strangers, in a trusting bond of shared service.
We live in dark times. Madmen think nothing of murdering thousands to advance their creeds, wars rage across the globe, slaughtering the children of nations from the richest to the poorest. Human greed and shortsightedness have afflicted the globe with pollution and plagues. Still, the shadows have not stifled all hope; there is light, creeping in around the edges of the dark, showing the way out: somewhere there is a mail server that has received 32,000 (and counting) emails. 32,000 instances of basic unselfish sharing. Power of the human spirit, my friends.
I have a sleep disorder (Score:5, Interesting)
However, I often stay up all night, and have gone as long as five days without sleeping. The longest I've slept in one shot is 29 hours.
I have a hell of a time getting out of bed each day. It is endlessly frustrating to my wife, who would like me to share her much more regular hours. I always feel like I've been hit by a truck, when I wake up. My wife never used to understand why I would protest that I was tired, after waking up from fourteen hours of sleep.
I went to a sleep specialist, and had two sleep studies done, and was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. The continuous positive air pressure machine that the doctor prescribed helped, but did not solve the problem.
Apnea is often caused by being overweight, and at the time I weighed 250 lbs, but I managed to lose 50 lbs and I don't think I have the apnea anymore. I still sleep very irregularly though.
It's a primary reason I am self-employed as a consultant. I don't think I could hold a job anymore, where I had to show up at any particular time.
It's 7 am where I am, and I've been working since midnight, and feeling great, but after getting out of bed yesterday afternoon I felt like hell and just wanted to take a nap until I came alive late into the night.
I don't think I have a circadian rhythm, at least not like other people.
Re:I have a sleep disorder (Score:2, Interesting)
There are days where I just go to bed as soon as I get home; and I wake up at Midnight, code for a few hours and go to work at 8.
But then there are days where I stay up until 5am;
sleep a couple hours, go to work and stay up until 5am again.
It's so random; it's just annoying.
Everyone around me can keep regular hours, but I never feel tired at the same time on successive days.
shades of "Hearing Aid" (Score:3, Interesting)
An amazing service really...
Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:3, Interesting)
I'm saddened that when I was 12 or 13, everyone thought I was "rebelling" by staying up way too late, sleeping until the last minute, and being groggy in school.
I'm saddened that I spent much of high school taking nortriptyline (Pamelor at first, then the generic as Pamelor grew too expensive) every night, just to get to sleep.
I'm saddened that my doctor, somehow convinced that I was faking things, refused to issue more prescriptions.
I'm saddened that I spent the rest of high school, and several years afterwards, downing Tylenol PM every night.
I'm saddened that I found solace in alcohol, which does the trick a hell of a lot better than Tylenol PM. I drink at least a six-pack of beer a night, just to get my mind relaxed enough so that I can pass out.
I'm saddened that if I get up at 6AM, work two jobs, come home, watch a little TV, and try to go to bed at 11PM without some sort of assistance, I just lie there for hours, wide awake in dreamland.
I'm saddened that I don't remember the last time I went to sleep without the aid of some chemical or another.
Those who have never suffered through insomnia don't know and don't understand the struggle, but are unusually quick to criticize. They don't realize the agony of being physically exhausted and wanting like mad to go to sleep, but having the brain keep working, thinking, stressing, preventing you from falling asleep. You tell them you can't get to sleep at night, they give you some bullshit about "well, you should wake up earlier," or "you need a more comfortable bed."
I'm not so sure that "tired of life" and "tired in the needing sleep sense" are mutually exclusive. The latter can lead to the former rather quickly when there isn't some sort of sleep-inducing remedy around. Fatigue is not a fun way to go through life.
Signed,
Someone too embarrassed to post this logged-in
Re:Less bloat gives more trust (Score:3, Interesting)
For similar reasons I use fluxbox rather than KDE/Gnome and read a good book rather than watch TV. (Nothing against KDE or Gnome, I do quite like both of them and recommend them frequently, but for day-to-day work I prefer a mostly empty screen.)
I am quite happy to master necessary, and often even unnecessary but useful, complexity (I couldn't live without my HP RPN calculator) but I abhor wading through piles of garbage to find the stuff I need. I do enough of that already.
Re:Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:3, Interesting)
The only thing that seems to be working without too many side-effects is smoking some good pot and drink a beer before hitting the sack... That's OK when you're 31 but how to get that when you're 12!
Re:why i'm tired (Score:2, Interesting)
Personally I work for a large router company with a 24x7 global tech support team and I'm based in Australia. I can't remember the number of times I've had to explain that while its summer up in America, its actually winter down here in Australia, and this is primarily to techs working for large companies who I would have thought at least had some education...
Re:Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:1, Interesting)
But for the benefit of those readers who are 12, and are having trouble getting to sleep, tell your parents to take you to the doctor, and when you get there, don't be shy. Tell your doctor you're having problems getting to sleep, especially if you're keeping normal hours for that age (e.g. getting up at 6AM to go to school, trying to go to bed at 10PM or so, and having no luck).
Don't hesitate to specifically mention nortriptyline or Pamelor. Quoth MedicineNet [medicinenet.com] (not that they're the definitive source or anything), "Nortriptyline is also a sedative and is useful in depressed patients with insomnia, restlessness, and nervousness." This is exactly the reason that it was prescribed to me, for more than three straight years. And I can tell you, it worked. It had a relaxing effect, such that when I took it before bedtime, I no longer had the "my brain keeps working when my body wants to sleep" syndrome.
If you're not able to visit a doctor or can't afford prescriptions (I no longer have health insurance, even though I work 2 jobs, so I can sympathize) then get yourself some Tylenol PM. 2 pills, of whichever incarnation you buy, should be enough to set you down. There is no age requirement for buying Tylenol PM, and it's not addictive, though if you're truly suffering from insomnia you'll find yourself using it almost every night. This is not an indication of addiction, but of relieving your symptoms.
Good luck.
Re:Work-Life Balance (Score:4, Interesting)
But now the trens is upwards again because we can't compete with the rest of the world if we only work 36 hours a week (or so they say).
See:
this story about siemens increasing the work week of it's german workforce. [dw-world.de]
If you're going into negotiations with your employer now I'd pray he had his head in the sand the last few months.
Re:Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:5, Interesting)
On my death march earlier this week, I was having mild hallucinations, the nature of which was such that I was hearing things, specifically, music. At one point, a plane flew overhead, and the sound sort of morphed into a saxophone; this could have been a genuine auditory coincidence, but then I started hearing piano chords, specifically, a diminished seventh if my ear training serves me correctly.
My affliction is unique in that I can't so easily cope with the sleeplessness with caffiene, because the diuretic effect of it triggers a long-standing mild case of enuresis, which first, makes it even more difficult to sleep, and second, is obviously extremely embarassing (hence the AC).
I, too, am bound to Tylenol PM, a drug that at least sates my affliction such that I can usually sleep within an hour of taking it, and then I have a half hour window in which I can sleep, because the effect passes all too quickly. If I don't capitalize on it quickly enough, I have to wait another hour.
Since this is summer, and I'm 16, I'm presented with an unusual opportunity to avoid sleeping altogether. I've taken to staying up 24 hours at a time to work on my pet project, a fully equipped arcade cabinet, faithful down even to the coin mech. It's a lovely way to pass the time, though I'm reluctant to saw anything at odd hours, because I wouldn't want to wake my parents, who suffer from their own sleep-related ailments; my mom is an extremely light sleeper, and my dad is jetlagged with such frequency that he often finds himself sleeping in the rear storage of his Tahoe in the airport parking lot.
It's a hard knocks' life.
Why was I tired ? Dead-end job. (Score:5, Interesting)
Finally I had the courage to save up some cash, quit IT for good, and "find myself". Introspection is so hard less than 1% of the planet indulges in it. It can reveal so many unpleasant truths about you. Like the fact that no matter how skilled I was, I was never going to fit in as a corporate whore anywhere.
When I finally took the plunge & did what I really wanted to do all along, there was no going back. Since then I've been so upbeat, so frighteningly happy, its scary. I've never worked so hard as in the past few months. It is both physically & mentally gruelling, but I never felt tired.
All you got to do is grow some balls, figure out what you really want to do, & then go do it. And yes, the nest egg is important.
Re:Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:5, Interesting)
I have come to belive that there is a small portion of the population that is geneticly predisposed to be the "night watchman". Perhaps its not as much now as when your tribe didn't want to get eaten in their sleep.
Re:I have a sleep disorder (Score:5, Interesting)
At first the bypap(sp?) machine seemed like a huge pain in the butt. I had to wear that stupid mask at night and listen to the machine, but my snoring had stopped, which my wife assured me was reason enough to use the machine. For the first two weeks I really didn't feel any different I was tired all of the time and missing out on my young daughters early antics. Then one morning I woke up and realized that I wasn't tired anymore. It was unbelievable. I used the bypap machine for 6 months before the inside of my nose became so raw that sleeping with it became almost impossible. I often had nightmares that someone was going to take the bypap away and my life would go back to what it was before.
In the 6 months that I was on the bypap I lost 30 lbs and was enjoying life in a way I had not been able to since I was a teenager. Since sleeping with the bypap machine was beginning to become unbearable I decided to see a doctor about having some kind of surgery, so I would not have to sleep with a machine for the rest of my life. They scheduled me for surgery and a short time later I had widened sinus passages, no adenoids, no tonsils, and much less of a palette in the back of my throat. The two weeks after the surgery really sucked, I couldn't even drink water for 4 days. I was constantly coughing up blood and required an IV and home health to administer the much desired pain medication. After two weeks I was feeling much better and had lost another 20 pounds. It didn't take long to lose 10 more and become a bit more active. I've bounced around a bit since then, but I've never gained more than 20 pounds of the weight back and since I've started exercising it looks like I might drop another 10 - 15 pounds.
My life has never been better, I'm not tired, I don't fall asleep, and my wife doesn't have to elbow me at night as much anymore. If the cpap didn't help you sleep you should give it another shot. I say it will be at least two weeks before your body and mind recover from sleep depravation. I'm sure you also know the consequences of ignoring sleep apnea, which include increased risk of heart attack, increased risk of stroke, and narcolepsy.
I thought pretty much as you did that the sleep cycles that I had were just normal for me, but believe me you don't know what you are missing with a regular sleeping pattern. I was an all night gamer and worker. The only time I could stay awake was when I was really focused on something like programming or video games. Now I can still game all night and sleep late if my wife lets me...err I mean if I want too, but I also have the benefit of being able to live an alter, happy, and somewhat normal life.
I'm tired (Score:3, Interesting)
At 18 I was accepted to college because I graduated 13th in my class 3.9gpa anyway (still homeless).
At 20 I had to leave college, go home to work, to save my sisters from my parents.
at 25 got married.
at 27 found out wife had lupus & rheumatoid
At 27 I went back to college while working full time.
at 30 I had cancer & had to drop out of school (again) also went bankrupt and lost all savings
at 35, have no home of my own, still have no degree so work for slave wages at the only job(s) I can find (since most companies just toss my resume, given the lack of degree). Can't quit job & finish school because wife NEEDS my medical insurance. Can't start own company either for same reason.
life sucks and I'm very tired of it
Note to self, post this anonymously.... Screw it, don't care who knows.
Re:why i'm tired (Score:4, Interesting)
That'd be:
Based on most frequent use?
Re:why i'm tired (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:5, Interesting)
What do you find to do for two hours a day which doesn't involve significant thought?
Masturbating. Seriously. Spend 1 to 2 solid hours masturbating before bed (go slow, put on a porno or something). Make sure you have nothing to do after you orgasm, brush your teeth beforehand or whatever you need to do. After you have a good orgasm, go straight to sleep. Quickies won't work as well, and also if you stay awake enough after the orgasm, you might not be able to fall asleep.
Of course, you can replace "masturbating" with actual sex with another person, but hey, this is Slashdot...
It's a part time job (Score:4, Interesting)
They've never met any of the people that they read about. Ironically, when I asked if they wanted to go to a party, they responded, "No, such and such is at a party right now. I want to read about it in their LJ as soon as they get home!"
My tiard (Score:1, Interesting)
im not sure what this relates to anything but if you must, mod me flaimbait
i am tired as i write this
Re:why i'm tired (Score:1, Interesting)
Re:Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:3, Interesting)
If I have no association with the outside world, I will stay awake for 26 hours, become tired, sleep for 10, and wake up feeling refreshed, energized, creative - all those things that make life so wonderful to live. Unfortunately, as I'm now in college, I have to keep myself on the 24 hour day, and I'm definitely suffering from it. I can't ever really get my energy up, I feel exhausted, nervous, and worn down.
Re:Agreed, insomnia is not a joke (Score:2, Interesting)
It was not the early bed time that created this in me; I couldn't fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning, no matter when I went to bed. Rather, I would lie in bed, and without anything to distract me, would recount all the things I had done in the previous day that branded me a sinner in Jesus' eyes, and thereby condemned me to eternal damnation unless I confessed--typically to my mother, who would then administer a sound beating and pronounce me forgiven.
Mind you, when I refer to the sins I had committed throughout the day, I'm not speaking of theft, or murder, or rape, or even hitting my sibling when he took my toy. Rather, the most vile acts I aspired to commit as a young and budding criminal were things like going out in the back yard without first asking permission; making a snack of crackers or chips when I was hungry from the kitchen without my mother's approval; or pretending to read the Bible for the required two hours every morning but in actuality simply sitting there and daydreaming.
After returning to bed, while in physical pain from the punishment, I would quickly fall asleep since my mental anguish had been assuaged.
Then one night, when I was probably fourteen or fifteen, I finally decided that I would do the opposite of the old adage "better the devil you know than the devil you don't." I decided to, as a limited trial run, stop confessing my sins to my parents--thereby avoiding immediate punishment--and instead wait and see what, if any, delayed reaction punishment I would receive directly from the hand of God.
Some two weeks later, having lived every waking moment in mortal fear of thunderstorms (I honestly believed that God would strike me dead with a lightning bolt) I concluded the trial test and decided that either my sins were too minor to register on a very busy deity's list of Things To Smite Sinners For; that God simply didn't care what I, and most likely anyone else, actually did; or that God simply didn't exist and that he was merely an invention--a tool, if you will, for my parents to use in keeping me "in line."
From that moment on, I slept soundly. I no longer dreaded going to bed at night; I no longer looked upon the approaching darkness with fear. I could lie down in bed at nearly any hour and within ten or twenty minutes, pass peacefully into a satisfying slumber.
It was all in my head, and once I realized that, the problem went away. I'm not saying that this is the case and cure for everyone, just that in my own individual case, throwing God out with the metaphorical bathwater did me a world of good. I've been an atheist ever since, and guess what--a great many years have past since that time, and I've not been hit with lightning. My father "put his trust in God" and promptly died of cancer; my mother continues to believe that "God looks after the widow and the fatherless" and is approaching being penniless. Her mother, my grandmother, is also a life-long devote Christian, and is utterly crazy: she believes that the Devil speaks to you through the radio, albeit only on FM; that one of the drawers in her bedroom is possessed by a demon whom her frequent prayers to Jesus have somehow failed to dislodge (she never opens it, lest the demon escape to haunt the entire room); she is fond of stating that Gays are the lowest possible form of sin; first you rape women, then you murder women, and then you become homosexual once the thrill of killing women no longer satisfies you.
I, on the other hand, am a successful IT professional, married to a wonderful woman, and living in a quant Victorian in San Francisco. Despite having slept with a number of girlfriends before getting married, having no respect for my parents, not believing in God, and to top it off, living in Sodom by the Sea, I have never been struck by lightning, have never contracted an STD, enjoy more health, financial success, peace of mind, and in general good karma than any one Christian I knew while growing up.