Journal zogger's Journal: Nannyists Nab Six Year Old Terrorist 17
Vigilant homeland security [chest thump, sieg heil salute] nannyist kommisars [/salute] in some school system nabbed a thoroughly dangerous terrorist who violated his elementary indoctrination and re education center's "zero tolerance" policy. He had just joined the dangerous underground group of counterrevolutionaries known as the "cub scouts" and one of the common WMD they issue to their terrorist recruits is one of those three in one snap together, butter knife/fork/spoon combos, a very common and highly lethal terrorist weapon, probably smuggled in from one of their east asia training camps.
Oh freekin noes! Quick, lock down the entire block and bring out the swat teams and dudes in NBC suits and the bomb disposal robots! He brought it to school to have fun and eat his lunch with, or so he claims. Likely story, proly some form of dangerous conspiracy plot to bring down our system of orders and..more orders. He is facing "detain-nation" in reform school over this, 45 days. The six year old trained terrorist keeps trying to lie and weasel out of his sentence, but our political interrogator will get the truth out after a little water boarding softening up period.
He got off easy! Our *righteous betters and masters of the heroic revolution* should have had the re education center's kommisar's security detail taser him, then a gallon or so of pepper spray, then several "attention and compliance" taps with the "baton of rule", before being renditioned away.
Dang tarists all sneakin up on people and stuff... Praise be our glorious leaders for being so vigilant!
To play devil's advocate... (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
And when I went to school, we had a play that had a scene with a "shotgun wedding". One of the kids brought his .22 rifle to school on the bus. They used it as a prop. No one said a thing and it went home with him the same way, later that day. Either 1982 or 1983, Lake County, Florida -- a bit rural. I can't think of a household in the area that DIDN'T own at least one gun. Bunch of rednecks, mostly. :-)
kids....lawn (Score:2, Insightful)
...when I went to school, carrying a .22 or a shotgun there and stashing it in your locker for after school target shooting or hunting was normal and common. It never raised an eyebrow, no different from a baseball bat. And I would imagine the same went for centerfire rifles in areas that had them for hunting, where I lived they weren't legal for hunting deer, just shotguns and slugs. You had to go to the more northern part of the state (this is Michigan, they are divided into three zones for hunting, or us
Re: (Score:1)
But why are there shootings now in the schools when there weren't when we were growing up and earlier? Part of it could be the Liberal sentiment that's soaked into our society that "guns are teh evil", and anything that you tell a kid is bad or dangerous or to avoid, is like saying the opposite! And you bring up the Ritalin generation, but was "diagnosing" everyone as having ADD/hyperactivity just a fad that was moving thru, or did at some point kids truly become more effed up in the head? (Or maybe both?)
I
Re: (Score:1)
the invention of the term "metrosexual"
Hey yeah, good point, what's turning the men into preening beauty queen wannabes? I encountered my first metro some time around 1990 I'd say, at my summer job in college, and it was the first presumable guy I'd ever seen who:
* Wore jewelry. A necklace, a wrist bracelet, a class ring, and of course stud earrings.
* I don't think he wore an ankle bracelet, but bad enough, he wore those anklet socks, that women wear when they play tennis.
* Went to the salon to get highligh
Re: (Score:2)
Overlooking the larger question of whether the policy was right or wrong, were the kid or his parents made aware of the policy? In more than just a form letter sent home on the first day of school? If not, the sentence is hardly fair, regardless of the policy.
As for the policy itself, has the school district had problems with violence before? In grade school? Is it a rural or urban district?
In any case, a boyscout knife? If I recall, those knife-fork-spoon devices don't even lock and aren't very big. Kid co
Re: (Score:2)
That brings back memories. One kid in my school was making throwing stars using sheet metal and tin snips. He was selling them for $0.25 during lunch, and we'd use them on classroom doors from the lawn outside. We got chewed out for marking up the doors. "Play with those things somewhere else" is what we were told. Ah, kids.
Re: (Score:2)
The thing about horseshoe nails is, they've got heft to them. We could stick those things three inches into solid wood. Good times, good times...
Re: (Score:2)
Good times, good times...
Do you mean Good Times With Weapons [wikipedia.org]?
And yes, I am, at least partially, making a joke here...
Re: (Score:2)
My grandfather gave me a pocketknife when I was 6, and I carried it everywhere, always. Even in school. Of course, I'm not young any more, America has gone from being the home of the brave to the home of the cowardly. Back when I was in school we did indeed have butter knives in the cafeteria, and most boys had pocketknives.
When I was young there were no metal detectors in courthouses even. Now, they confiscate your knife until you leave. They have a whole building full of armed policemen and they're afraid
Re: (Score:1)
Now, they confiscate your knife until you leave.
What? They gave yours back?
Re: (Score:2)
Yeah. They don't where you are? It's not illegal and it's property, why wouldn't they give it back?
not here (Score:1)
Big sign that says do not bring in weapons, take them back to your car. They won't hold them.
bwahahahaha (Score:1)
...now where did you get that picture of my fourth grade class anyway?