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Comment Re:First Post (Score 1) 207

Microsoft didn't even see it coming.

Microsoft is a lot like Wile E. Coyote. We can see that the anvil is going to land squarely on them, but they never seem to be able to look far enough into the future to see it themselves.

You forgot the part about them over-paying for the anvil in the first place...
and then paying extra for the expedited shipping option.
When it comes to cartoon anvils, everyone knows expedited shipping means "will fall from sky at some point".

Comment Re:I say BS (Score 1) 168

I agree. Why, it used to be that you needed a laptop battery to cook a steak, and now a cell phone battery can do the same job! Plus, the fumes given off during the process give you food that certain something (as in "I'm certain this is toxic") which is tough to reproduce using fire from more mundane fuels...

Comment Re: I tell them that I use wanker auth (Score 4, Interesting) 427

I only ise my middle finger for authentication. There is no chance I would cooporate with a fucking search like this.

Actually, that's close to a good idea... one finger print that might nuke a selected data set while opening the actual phone app for a call (like when you answer without unlocking), others that would open the phone like normal. If they are not requiring you to turn over self-incriminating evidence then they could hardly claim you took an action that destroyed the non-evidence they want you to not hand over... I think that's it.. it's very confusing not confusing...

Comment Re: gloves? (Score 1) 422

I'll accept a fingerprint lock on my firearms.

In exchange, all other restrictions must be dropped, period. Suppressors, full-auto, burst, magazine size, pull weight, barrel length, caliber, school zones, bars, right to carry, .380, Saturday night special, storage in cars, loaded in cars, castle laws, public service use... everything. got it?

And then you get to say something like
Why, Yes Honey, that IS a pocket bazooka in my pants!

Comment Re: What a brave new world (Score 2, Funny) 90

I'm voting for the power hungry narcissist who honestly doesn't give a rats ass about us little people.

Look, you CAN'T vote for all of them... you have to pick one for each office.
I personally like the power hungry narcissist with the least amount of recent asshattery at the moment, who ever that is...

Comment Re:Really? (Score 1) 244

Right! You do however have to account some extra weight for things like ball point pens, duct tape, and paperclips, lots of paperclips.
"Commander, the braking thrusters have failed and we have 12 seconds to impact!"
"Hand me a box of paperclips, quickly... Dammit! Why did you seal the box with ductape! I'll never get it op..."

Signal Lost

Comment Re:In other news... (Score 4, Insightful) 131

"Ladies and Gentlemen of The Jury, this tragic accident would have never happened without a targeted and pre-planned ad directed at my client! The instant the advertisers, the ad delivery company, and Yahoo made good on their conspiracy to display an ad for Viagra, my client looked down in shame... and a young life was snuffed out forever... by the callous disregard for the dangers of distracted driving by the advertisers and those working on their behalf."

Comment Re:Long life (Score 2) 156

I liked this vanity card from Chuck Lorre (shown at the end of Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, etc.)
I've thought long and hard about this vanity card. What I'm about to say is going to upset quite a few people. Some of them are my friends. Or perhaps, after reading this, my former friends. But I can't let that stop me from speaking my mind. It's time to say out loud what I know in my heart to be true. Vegetarians and vegans are mobility bigots. They believe that if a life form doesn't move, it's fair game to be killed and eaten. They hold a deep seated prejudice against plants, or, as plants prefer to be called, "We Who Stand Still." This hateful philosophy is predicated on the idea that movement equals consciousness, or, if you will, a certain level of sacredness. To put it simply, if it walks, flies, or swims, or comes from something that does, it should not be ingested. If it doesn't, yum-yum. Of course when you ask vegetarians and vegans, they say no, they're only opposed to eating flesh. But what could be more fleshy than a mushroom? Or avocado? Or eggplant? The ugly truth is they are cowards who murder and devour anything that can't run away. These people, who act so high and mighty, so spiritually elevated, have somehow constructed a style of cuisine that would justify them eating my Uncle Murray, a man known for sitting still for hours at a time, staring at a TV that is turned off. So the next time you order a salad consider this: Prince told us that doves cry. But what if kale does too?

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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. -- Niels Bohr