At least you're in the country and have heard the sounds in your lifetime. I've tried working through a book-only version of learning Irish and good gravy---lenition and eclipsis, and that fraking letter "h" doing different things based on where it is in the word and the surrounding vowels. That causes a great deal of pain for this "stupid American"
My mother-in-law bought this for me when I switched from a desktop to a laptop. I thought it was ridiculous, especially since she spent 70 bucks on it. 2 years later and I hate having any other mouse in my hand. Good weight, fits well with my hand (hope you're not a lefty), plays well with Mac, doesn't eat batteries, has bindable keys, etc.
Help -> Check for updates
CDC data for communicable diseases with a nice google map overlay seems a prime mobile app to me.
Can't open /usr/fortunes. Lid stuck on cookie jar.