That aside, will people please stop this constant masturbation about startup times? There are way, way, way more important things to deal with than edging out a few more seconds.
systemd has was not developed for start-up times. The only way a Linux project gets this kind of funding and momentum is for the server. Better startup times are just show how shit sysV is.
systemd enables distros and admins to start using features in the kernel (cgroups, constrains ....) that would otherwise be unnecessary prohibitively difficult to implement in a generic imperative language.
Another way of looking at the situation is sysV is constraining everyones options to use otherwise available features to users.
... We need more scripting not less...
When that scripting is boilerplate, this is an unnecessary waste of time for the user and maintainer. If you really need some scripting for something nonstandard you can still call it inside an systemd service file.