If it was a Wednesday, play Halo Reach on Legendary with all skulls on.

Came here for this. Leaving satisfied.

Given that Bing powers Yahoo!'s search results, how is this even possible, let alone newsworthy?

PerfectOffice.org. Comes complete with an awesome acronym!

You've obviously never worked for a Yahoo-, Google-, or Facebook-type of place.

"Trimester?" WTF is wrong with you? You seriously plan to teach a fetus the difference between disk and memory?

Have them all build their own custom Gentoo box. They'll learn a great deal, you'll only need to actively teach for a day or two, and then spend the rest of the semester waiting for it to compile. Perfect!

So what was it like growing up as a child while dinosaurs still roamed the earth? Did you ever see a T-Rex?

Um, I have an iPhone. What the hell do you have, your grandma's clamshell?

Oh yeah? And what if I want to walk down the up escalator? I'm not one of those morons who run along the far right or the far left. I like to run the wrong way in the middle, so I can knock people down on both sides.

HEY! Why do you hate America? Why are you aiding the terr'ists? Dey want to take our jerbs!

I like your approach. Can I join your gang? I can drive fast, have a high tolerance for alcohol, can field-strip an AK-47, and perform well under pressure.

And virgins, every one of them.

You mean the ones that cause your lung tissue to dissolve and cause you to die from drowning in your own blood?

I carry a Colt .45ACP semiauto pistol when I bicycle. The driver of the last car that hit me died on the scene. The good news is that he will never run another cyclist over!

I get mixed reactions to my packing heat when I ride in the monthly Critical Mass events; some fellow cyclists approve, some disapprove, a few are simply terrified, and I've run into at least one that was also carrying a gun. You should see the SUV drivers take off in a hurry after I pop a few rounds through their back window, though. It's absolutely hilarious!